


Baby Brother

by bananacabana



Category: Glee
Genre: AU, Age Difference, AnderBros, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-09-27 18:48:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 46,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10039409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananacabana/pseuds/bananacabana
Summary: Cooper never felt like he had a real family, so when his 15 year old half-brother shows up at his door one night, begging for a place to stay, he knows his life is about to get upended. The problem is, Cooper has been absent for almost half of Blaine's life, they might as well be strangers, and Blaine is far more taken by Cooper's roommate, Kurt Hummel.





	1. 2010

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been sitting on this fic for two years, writing sporadically until a sprained ankle meant I finally had the time to finish it! I knew there was no way in hell I'd let it die so here it is, finally! It is complete, each chapter explores a new year and will be posted every wednesday!  
> Just to clarify, the age difference between Blaine and Cooper is 9 years and between Blaine and Kurt is 6 years and (spoilers) nothing of consequence happens while Blaine is underage.

Kurt comes home to an empty apartment as usual, his roommate out god knows where. He flicks on the lights and drops his bags in a heap by the sofa with the promise he'll pick them up later. It's Friday and he has the whole weekend to worry about anything that isn't running himself a bath and making a cup of warm milk. Jenny had him wanting to pull his hair out today, coming to him with problem after problem which she was seemingly incapable of handling herself which thus meant Kurt had fallen behind in his own work, resulting in stern words from his boss who has had it out for Kurt since day one. Kurt would tell him where he can shove it if he didn’t need this job to keep a roof over his head. Then there's the fact that Brandon had shown up with his stupid new boyfriend and his stupid new tie that his stupid boyfriend had gotten him for his stupid birthday. If looks could kill then Brandon would no longer be one of those privileged enough to breathe.

Kurt sighs, putting all of the jealousy and stress and murderous thoughts behind him in favour of filling his cup and relaxing into the sofa while his bath runs. Pure bliss.

And yet it all comes crashing down with an urgent knock at the door. Kurt groans to himself, hoping that it's someone he can be rid of quickly before placing his mug on the coffee table and dragging his feet to the door.

He opens the door with what he hopes is a friendly face, if Cooper has managed to offend their neighbours again then the fastest way to resolve the problem and get back to his evening will be to just take the blame and not cause an argument. The last thing he expects to find standing on the other side of the door is a kid. He looks about 15 with tousled curls and red rimmed eyes but Kurt's concern is drawn immediately to the heavy rucksack slung from his shoulder. The boy looks utterly lost.

"Can I help you?" he asks when it looks like the kid isn't going to speak first.

"Is...Does Cooper Anderson live here?" His voice tremors as he looks at the floor.

"Yeah, but he's out that the moment. Can I take a message or...?"

"Do you know when he'll be back?" The boy looks like he's on the verge of tears again. Kurt has no idea who he is or why he wants to see Cooper but he can tell undoubtedly that something is wrong, that this boy needs help.

"Not till late tonight but I can-"

"Oh. I-I can come back another time. I'm sorry to bother you." He makes to leave but Kurt knows in an instant that he has nowhere to go.

"Wait! If it's urgent I can call him. He can be home in maybe an hour?" Kurt has no idea why he's making promises on behalf of Cooper, he can't even remember the last time the guy stayed home on a Friday night.

"I wouldn't want to be a nuisance," the boy says, still refusing to meet Kurt's eye.

"Why don't you come inside and I'll call him?" Kurt offers. The boy hesitates, clutching his bag tightly with both hands as he stares past Kurt and into the apartment before finally taking a step forward.

"Okay.”

"What's your name?" Kurt asks as he returns from the bathroom after turning off the running tap with a feeling that he's not likely going to be able to have that bath after all.

"Blaine."

Kurt searches his memory for any Blaine that Cooper knows as he retrieves his phone and scrolls to find his roommate's number. His mind comes up blank, he's fairly sure Cooper has never mentioned a Blaine before, leaving him with no choice but to just ask.

"How do you know Cooper?"

Blaine finally looks up at him, big golden eyes wide and glistening with the threat of yet more tears.

"He's my brother."

Kurt’s mouth hangs agape at the admission. He presses dial with perhaps unnecessary force and holds the phone to his ear, silently begging Cooper to pick up. Thankfully Cooper's optimistic yet thankfully sober voice greets him on the fifth ring.

"You need to get home right now," he says in place of any banal greeting.

"Whoa, hey, what's up? Why do you sound so pissed? I did the dishes like you asked, I even cleaned the bathroom so-"

"Cooper," Kurt silences him, "Your brother is here."

There’s a long silence before Cooper finally replies.

"...What?"

Kurt glances over to Blaine who by this point is as white as a ghost, looking like he's about to pass out any minute.

"You need to come home, something isn't right here."

"Put him on the phone," Cooper demands and Kurt passes it over. Blaine's answers are short and one worded so Kurt can't get much of a grasp of what's going on and when he eventually passes the phone back with a grateful yet forced smile, he still looks no better than before.

"I'm on my way," Cooper tells Kurt before hanging up and leaving him alone with Blaine. Kurt hasn’t interacted with a teenager since he was one and finds that in the space of just a few years, he’s found himself completely detached from the concept of adolescence. He has no idea what to do.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Kurt asks, desperate for something to occupy himself with while they wait.

Blaine shakes his head. "No thank you."

"Cooper will be home soon," Kurt offers, hoping to make Blaine feel more at ease. He's tense and frigid as he sits on the sofa, hands clasped between his knees and eyes locked on the carpet. Kurt has no idea how to offer comfort. He doesn't even know what the problem is, why this boy looks so broken and scared.

He didn't even know Cooper had a little brother. He's known him for three years and not once has Blaine's name come up. He has no idea what the kid's like, what his interests are, how to talk to him. Kurt's stuck and it's awkward and God, how long does Cooper want to take?

So much for his peaceful night at home, the quiet that he had been yearning for all day is now suffocating him.

Cooper eventually storms through the door exactly 42 minutes later, not that Kurt had been counting or anything.

Blaine, who had been sat patiently on the sofa, perks up immediately at the sound of the door and at the appearance of his brother, he rushes over to wrap his arms around him, sobbing helplessly into his shirt. Cooper is barely able to make it into the apartment.

"Blaine, what the hell are you doing here?" Cooper asks coldly. Blaine just shakes his head, clinging to Cooper weakly and burying his face. Kurt watches helplessly from the kitchen.

"Can I stay with you?" he begs between broken sobs. "Please? I don't want to go back home." Kurt is at a loss as he watches from the kitchen, feeling as though he's intruding but unable to tear himself away from the scene.

"Are you out of your mind? Of course not!" Blaine reels back, the sting of rejection clear on his face.

"Please...I -"

"Does dad and your mom know you're here?" Blaine shakes his head, no.

"I'm calling them," Coop declares, tearing himself away from Blaine as he heads to the middle of the room, pulling out his cell phone.

"No! Coop please, I'm begging you, don't call them!" Blaine is suddenly filled with a fiery determination as he follows Cooper, trying to grab the phone that's just out of his reach. "I'm serious, _please!_ "

"Squirt, they're probably worried sick about you."

I highly doubt that,” Blaine mutters, “I don't want to see them and they don't want to see me." Cooper pauses, wondering what on earth has been going on back home.

"Look, Blaine you can't just...live with me. We don't have room and-"

"Cooper," Kurt starts, feeling as though it's about time he interjected, "surely he can stay here for a couple days at least while you sort this whole thing out."

The thing is, Cooper is an incredibly independent person. He left home the moment he turned 18 and never looked back. His family had been in ruins long before that and he’s never felt like he could truly call Ohio his home. It’s where he was born, it’s where he spent a certain amount of years but it’s nothing more than that. He almost never visits home anymore now except occasionally on Christmas and even then it's been years since the last time he spent the holidays in Ohio. He stays in contact with his parents through phone calls and birthday cards but it seems somehow, without his knowledge, his kid brother grew up and is now a threat to that independence he earned so long ago.

"Fine," he huffs, "Just for a couple days and then you're going home."

"No."

"Blaine," Cooper says in a warning tone, sounding all too much like their father as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

"If you don't want me here then fine, I'll go somewhere else, but I'm not going home." With that he grabs his bag from the sofa and heads to the door as Cooper shouts after him. Kurt manages to intercept his path, gripping him softly by the shoulders and steering him back to the sofa.

"You're not going anywhere now," he says calmly, "It's getting late." Despite however he may have gotten all the way to New York on his own, Kurt isn't going to let a 15 year old kid wander the city by himself at night with nowhere to go. If Cooper looks relieved when Blaine slumps back down onto the sofa then he says nothing and he certainly doesn't let Blaine see.

"You're being such a brat, you know that," Cooper scolds, heading towards the kitchen and slapping two slices of bread down on the counter as he begins to make a sandwich. Blaine says nothing, just glares sullenly at the carpet. At the very least he doesn't look quite so defeated and lost any more, Cooper managed to bring something out in him, it's just too bad it was anger.

"Here," Cooper says, handing Blaine a plate with a poorly constructed ham and mustard sandwich on it. The crusts are cut off which is something he never does for himself. "Eat that and go to bed."

"It's only 9pm," Blaine protests. "Where am I gonna sleep anyway?"

"On the sofa, and you'll do as I say because this is _my_ home."

"How can you send me to bed if I'm already here," Blaine replies with the first grin Kurt has seen since he arrived. Cooper's mouth hangs open with the promise of a comeback until he realises Blaine has him beat.

"Smartass brat," he mumbles, heading back to the kitchen. Kurt snorts with laughter, enjoying Blaine's singular win against Cooper's mood before heading to grab some spare sheets.

* * *

The next morning, Kurt treads into the living room to find Blaine already awake and is unfortunate enough to catch him as he's changing.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kurt says. Blaine glances up, eyes widening at the site of Kurt as he grabs a cushion to cover his chest. Kurt frowns, it's not like he has much to hide there, but as Kurt does a double take, he notices the not quite pink but instead very obviously green and purple stained skin around his ribs and torso that's not quite obscured by the shirt. "I was just...gonna make breakfast," he says, tearing his eyes away and heading to the kitchen. His mind reels at the sight, knowing that he has to tell Cooper but unsure if it would be an invasion of Blaine's privacy.

That poor boy.

He had been wondering what could possibly have happened to make him so adamant that he wasn't going home and Kurt’s mind conjures a dark thought. These aren’t just any bruises, someone did this to him and all Kurt can seem to be able to focus on is a faceless someone beating that poor boy.

Breakfast is quiet.

At least it is until Cooper brings up the inevitable

"You're going home tomorrow." Kurt's heart sinks, now with more of an understanding of what it is Blaine would be going back to and knowing that it can't happen.

"I already told you, I'm not going back," Blaine mumbles into his scrambled eggs.

"You have school on Monday, okay. You can't just decide you're gonna live here." Blaine flinches slightly, seemingly at the mere thought of being back in time for school.

"Then I'll live somewhere else."

"Where? Huh? On the street?" Cooper's voice rises as he quickly loses his temper again.

"Cooper," Kurt warns, not liking the direction the argument is taking.

"If I have to then yeah, you can't force me back there."

"I can sit your ass on a plane and make sure dad is there to pick you up at the other end."

Blaine drops his fork to his plate with an echoing clatter and storms away from the table. Not having a bedroom to go to, he heads to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and sliding the lock shut.  "I'm gonna end that kid," Cooper growls rising from his seat.

"Okay will you calm down?" Kurt yells, grabbing his sleeve to prevent him from going after Blaine.  "Haven't you stopped to think that maybe there's a reason he doesn't want to go home?"

"He'll get over it."

"Cooper. Listen to yourself. Look, I don't know your brother, in fact before yesterday I didn't even know you had one which says a lot to be frank. Do you...Do you have a bad relationship with your family?"

"I don’t have any relationship with my family...look Blaine and I didn't grow up close. We have different mothers and he's nine years younger than me, that gap has always been...there, hanging over us. We were never really in each other’s lives, I mean he clung to me when he was little but then I left and he grew up without me there."

"What about your dad?"

"He’s an asshole, what of it?"

"Did he ever...hurt you?" Kurt says in a hushed tone, afraid that Blaine might overhear. Cooper glares at him in shock.

"Of course not, he…wait, what are you trying to say?"

"I don't mean to imply anything but I accidentally walked in on Blaine changing earlier this morning and...and his chest was black and blue. He's not being a brat, Cooper, he's scared. Someone hurt him."

Cooper rips his arms out of Kurt's grasp that had since slackened and rushes towards the bathroom.

"Cooper." Kurt rushes after him, finding himself way more protective than he probably should be of the young boy in his bathroom.

"Blaine, open up," Cooper says in a surprisingly soft tone and with a gentle knock at the door. There's no answer from the other side. "Please? Look, Squirt, I'm not gonna force you home, I wanna talk to you."

There’s a long, pregnant pause before lock slides open and Cooper pushes open the door. Kurt hesitates, keeping his distance as Coop rushes to Blaine, placing both hands on his shoulders. Blaine had evidently been crying, his eyes are red rimmed and his face is shiny and wet with the remnants of tears.

"Blaine...who hurt you?" Blaine looks up at his brother with wide eyes before refocusing his gaze onto Kurt. He doesn't look hurt or betrayed, in fact Kurt can't quite figure out what his expression says, he would almost say gratefulness if Blaine didn't look so scared at the same time. "Let me see," Cooper asks.

Ever so slowly Blaine lifts shaky hands to the edge of his shirt and gingerly raises it, revealing the mess of dark, gruesome bruises painted upon his skin. Cooper sucks in a breath at the sight, dropping to his knees to get a better look and gently touching Blaine's left side. Blaine hisses in pain and Cooper quickly retracts his hand and instead soothingly takes hold of both of Blaine's wrists. "Do you think anything's broken? Do you need to see a doctor?"

"I already went to the hospital. Nothing's broken, just bruised. A lot. I have some painkillers and the nurse said to just let it heal on its own."

"Okay...okay, Blaine, I'm gonna ask you a serious question and you need to answer me honestly, okay?" Cooper looks up to Blaine, who has begun to shake all over as he nods in reply. "Who did this to you? Was it Dad?"

"No," Blaine answers quickly. Kurt releases the breath he hadn't realised he had been holding. It doesn't lessen Blaine's injuries but he feels better for it. "I...he said I deserved it though." The tears gather again as though of their own will. Kurt can see the way Blaine fights them, how he looks away from Cooper as though in shame for showing such weakness.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Cooper soothes, bringing one hand up to wipe away Blaine's tears while trying to keep himself calm. His hold has tightened around Blaine's wrist as he reigns in his anger. "So then what happened? How did you get hurt?"

Blaine doesn't answer straight away but Cooper doesn't push him. He waits on his knees for his little brother to calm himself down enough to speak.

"Last Friday I was at the school dance," he starts slowly, choosing each word carefully. "It was a Sadie Hawkins dance and afterward I was outside with my...my friend Jack. His dad was gonna pick us up but before he got there these three guys came out of nowhere and kicked the living crap out of us. Jack got it a lot worse than I did, they just…wouldn’t stop."

"Why?" Cooper asks, confused as to why anyone would want to hurt Blaine.

"I don't...they just don't like us,” he says, averting his gaze.

"And why the hell did Dad say you deserve it? What's wrong with him?"

"He doesn't think I'm manly enough, _of course they pick on me I'm asking for it._ "

"Christ," Coop says with a sigh. Kurt can't understand how anyone can be so cruel and to their own son at that. He can't help but feel as though something is missing from the picture though, the way Blaine flinches so much, the way he averts his eyes when he tries to think of the right phrasing, Kurt notices it all as his heart breaks.

"Jack’s parents pulled him out of school and I begged dad to let me transfer too but he said I need to toughen up and deal with it. Mom didn't say anything about the whole thing except that I shouldn't let my education suffer by taking so much time off and moving to a new school. Please don't make me go back, Coop. If I go they'll send me back to that school and I can't...I can't go back there."

"I won't send you back. You're staying here." Cooper finally stands before wrapping Blaine in a warm yet gentle hug, cautious of his bruised ribs. "I'm still gonna call them though."

Blaine backs away, a terrified look blazing in his eyes once more as he shakes his head.

"Just," Cooper says, raising a careful hand as though approaching a wild animal that could bolt at any second, "to let them know you're here. I'll ask your Mom to send over some more of your stuff and then I'll need to arrange for you to transfer schools here." Blaine nods, accepting that it has to be done. "Alright, go watch TV like a normal kid while I sort all this shit out." Blaine hugs him again with a whispered _thank you_ before he leaves, offering Kurt a shy smile as he passes.

"Fuck." Cooper groans, pressing his palms to his eyes.

"Wow."

Cooper trembles, leaning against the bathroom wall for support. Kurt has never seen him this angry, Cooper just lets things roll off him, never caring too much or for too long. But now he's seen the real threat that's been haunting his little brother, suddenly the world is at stake, suddenly Cooper _cares_.

"What the fuck is wrong with them, Kurt? God. I don't get it. Blaine was always dad’s favourite. Ever since he was born.

"All you can do now is be there for him."

"I know," Cooper agrees, "It's okay that he stays here, right? I should have asked you first, I mean you live here too."

"It's fine," Kurt assures quickly. "Really. I'm glad here's here and not..." Cooper nods in agreement.

"I gotta make this phone call. Can you just make sure he's okay?" 

Kurt leaves Cooper to deal with his parents and wanders back out into the living room.

"Hey," he says, sitting down next to Blaine on the sofa, leaving enough space so as not to crowd him. He isn't watching TV like Cooper said to, he's just sat there, quietly fiddling his thumbs. When Kurt sits down though, he looks up and offers a brief twitch of a smile.

"Hi." His voice is so feeble and quiet that Kurt almost misses it.

"Looks like we're roommates."

"I guess."

"I never really got the chance to properly introduce myself and seeing as we're going to be sharing a roof we should probably get to know one another so get ready for the crash course," Kurt continues, hoping to bring him out of his shell a little more. "I'm Kurt Hummel, 21, originally from the lovely Lima, Ohio so I get where you’re coming from wanting to get out of there. I've known your brother since I first moved to New York, he's one of the first people I met here actually. I just graduated from NYU and I currently work at a crappy telesales company which I hate but I want to work in fashion someday. It’s my biggest passion but I also love music and theatre-"

"Me too," Blaine says, interrupting, "I'm in the drama club at my school. Well...I was."

"Well look at that, we already have something in common! Living together won't be so bad after all. And hey, once you get settled in at school here you can join a new drama club." Blaine smiles weakly at the thought of starting school again. "I know what it's like to get bullied Blaine. When I was at school, there were these two guys who picked on me mercilessly. They didn't do anything to me as bad as what you've been through, just chucked me in a dumpster a couple times and shoved me into lockers as they passed me in the hallway but one guy did threatened to kill me. It was probably an empty threat, I know that now but at the time...I was too afraid to get out of bed most days. Luckily, after my dad found out what had been going on, he insisted I go to another school. We found this place called Dalton, an all boy's school with a zero tolerance policy for bullying and it was...safe. I felt safe there. But I had to leave all my friends behind me and eventually we drifted apart. It was sad because they were the first real friends I ever made. But I made new friends at Dalton and I didn't get picked on anymore. Things were better but I had to sacrifice a lot just because of a few bullies with nothing better to do."

"I'm not really leaving any friends behind so...no regrets, right?"

Kurt smiles grimly, sad that Blaine can take comfort in having had no friends but at least from here on, things can only be better for him.

* * *

Blaine's parents put up little resistance to his moving in with Cooper which is enough to cause concern on Kurt's part but he feels it's not his business and is simply glad that Blaine can be in a place where he's safe and far away from the tormentors at his old school. Blaine's mom sends over some more of his clothes and his little space in the living room is set up, complete with new pillows and a duvet, and a plastic storage box for his clothes. It's not much, but it's all they have room for. Before they know it, Blaine is officially the third resident of their already cramped apartment.

Cooper finds a new school for Blaine, it's strict on bullying and has a decent arts program which Blaine seems to be excited for. Plus, he and Kurt would conveniently need to get the same train in the morning and Kurt is more than happy to accompany him while he gets used to the city.

As for Blaine, he's mostly quiet. Aside from the obvious pain his bruised ribs cause him, he doesn't show much of what goes through his head. He still asks if he can watch TV or have something to eat or take a shower, acting like he's a guest despite his determination never to go back to Ohio. While Blaine and Cooper might be brothers, it's clear that they don't really know each other. Cooper has been gone for decent chunk of Blaine's life so it's no wonder that they don't know how to act around one another. Kurt acts as the buffer most of the time, getting to know Blaine is easy for him, not being under the pressure that Cooper is to be _The Big Brother_. Cooper knows to cut the crust off Blaine's sandwiches, he knows his favourite colour is yellow and he knows he hates olives, easy things, details that haven't changed much since he was a kid, but he doesn't know what Blaine's hobbies are, what his sense of humour is like, he doesn’t know how to spend time with him.

Awkward silences have become a constant fixture of their daily routine but Cooper tries, desperate to have something between them, something more than just their blood relation.

"Why don't you take up some self-defence classes?" Cooper suggests. It's the night before Blaine is supposed to start school again and Blaine is even more sullen than usual, picking at his dinner. Blaine glances up, a scowl adorning his usually blank face.

"Why? To be more of a man?" he says, echoing what must have been his father's words at some point.

"No, so that you can defend yourself if anything...happens. Why not try Karate? Kung Fu? Or, I don't know, boxing?"

"I guess I could try boxing," Blaine relents quietly, staring down into his food. He doesn't want to though, that much is clear, but Cooper seems satisfied.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again, Squirt. This has nothing to do with how _manly_ you are."

"Fine."

"Blaine-"

"I said fine. I'll take up boxing to protect myself, and okay it has nothing to do with being a man."

Cooper sighs, letting the argument go. 

Blaine has been sullen ever since he arrived. He doesn't feel at home, that much is obvious and there is a glaring divide between him and Cooper that's impossible to look past but there's something more. Kurt doesn't know Blaine, but he knows people and he can tell when someone is hiding something. The way Blaine avoids eye contact, the minimalist answers he gives when Cooper asks him anything about what happened at the dance.

* * *

Blaine wakes to a pillow being tossed in his face.

"Up," Cooper demands, "Rise and shine, first day of school!"

Blaine groans, partly from the pain in his ribs still but mostly because of the early hour. Sleeping in Cooper's living room has subjected him to early awakenings every morning, being denied the luxury of sleeping in.  "Come on, you have one hour. Kurt's not gonna wait around for you, he has to get to work."

Blaine reluctantly opens his eyes, letting them adjust to the obnoxious morning sun.

"'m up," his mumbles as he sits up and stretches, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Blaine resigns himself to the fact that this is his new morning routine. He can't say he's a fan of waking up at 6am but if it means that he's out of Ohio, out of North Westerville High then he's okay with it.

He takes a hurried shower, taking Cooper's warning to heart and not wanting to make Kurt late for work. When he emerges from the bathroom, hair dripping and towel wrapped around his waist, Kurt is leaning against the kitchen counter, sipping coffee.

Blaine blushes as Kurt looks up and smiles at him, ducking his head as he hurries to the small box beside the sofa where his clothes are kept.

"Morning," Kurt says cheerily as Blaine crouches awkwardly, fumbling through the box for something to wear with one hand gripping at the towel to prevent it from slipping.

"I won't take long I promise," Blaine says, conscious of the time and the fact that they need to get going soon.

"No need to rush. I called work and said I'd be coming in a little later today anyway."

"You...did?" Blaine asks, finally deciding on a striped polo and jeans and standing upright.

"I wanted to make sure you got there okay so I was gonna walk you there rather than abandon you on the subway. Is that okay?"

"I...Yeah. That sounds great. Thank you."

Kurt smiles again and Blaine, feeling utterly lost in it, hurries to get ready. He can't deny the feelings bubbling in his chest whenever Kurt smiles at him, he knows exactly what it means, he's just too afraid to admit it, at least out loud.

Just his luck that Cooper's roommate would be so incredibly hot. He catches himself before he can let his thoughts go any further and banishes them away with a subtle shake of the head. It's not the time to be thinking such things, not when his life is such an upside down mess right now. He still feels like he's treading on eggshells whenever he's at Cooper's. The place feels far from what he'd call home and Cooper feels more like a distant acquaintance than a brother. They just don't know each other anymore. The last time Blaine spent any real time with his brother was when he was nine. Since then, their relationship had dwindled to brief and disinterested catch ups at biannual family gatherings until eventually Cooper stopped coming home all together. For the most part, Blaine considered himself an only child while growing up.

"Ready?" Kurt asks after Blaine hurriedly finishes his bowl of cereal and shrugs his bag over his shoulder. In an instant, the butterflies are back and Blaine can't help but smile bashfully as Kurt holds the door open for him.

Blaine doesn't say much on the train but while Kurt puts it down to first day nerves, the truth is that Blaine is more nervous around Kurt than anything else. Of course he has his worries about starting a new school but this is New York, he's not expecting miracles but it can hardly be much worse than North Westerville High.

"Remember, when you get there you need to find the reception desk and ask for Mrs Duncan," Kurt rattles on, reciting information that Blaine has already committed to memory but he doesn't have the heart to tell him this. "You have both mine and Cooper's cell phone and work numbers right? In case anything goes wrong?"

Blaine replies with a nod, heart thrumming once again at the fact that he has Kurt's number saved in his phone before he tells himself that he's being ridiculous. They live together now, Kurt is practically his guardian - and is certainly acting the part right now - having Kurt's number in his phone means absolutely nothing. Except to Blaine it feels like everything. He just doesn’t get things like this, a real crush on a real guy that he gets to talk to and spend time with on a regular basis. Sure, there was Jack but they were just friends and they haven’t even spoken since the dance, Jack’s dad had pulled him out of school immediately and that was that. Blaine has never had a real boyfriend and this fact does nothing but remind him of how pathetically juvenile he must seem in comparison to Kurt. He's just a kid, and Kurt is dropping him off at school before he heads off to his big, adult, New York City job.

"Do you need me to come in with you? I can do all the talking if you want?" Kurt offers once they're outside the school. Blaine shakes his head.

"I'll be fine," he says. While he hates that Kurt has to leave now, he really doesn't want to be babysat by him.

"Yeah you will," Kurt agrees, smiling widely, "do you want me to meet you here after school lets out? We can head home together?"

"I...I don't need you to pick me up from school, Kurt," Blaine says honestly, painfully aware of the blush spreading across his cheeks as he stares pointedly at his shoes.

"Of course you don't. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be overbearing."

"No it's... thank you. It means a lot that you care. Plus I might check out some of the after school clubs. Cooper wants me to try learn self-defence or something so..." he trails off, hating that everything seems to remind him of that night, of why he's here in the first place.

"He cares about you."

"Right..." Blaine has no idea what exactly to say to that. _You're wrong...You don't know...He never wanted a brother_... they all taste too bitter on his tongue so he says nothing.

"You should get going, don't want to be late on your first day!" Kurt says optimistically. Blaine offers a shy goodbye and yet another thank you before Kurt is hurrying back down the street and Blaine is left facing the huge building before him, wondering what's in store for him at Birchwood High School.

As it turns out, Blaine's first day isn’t quite as terrible as he first expected it to be. No one shoves him against the lockers, no one sneers at him in the hallway or makes snide comments about his bowtie which Blaine had debated over but bravely decided on wearing that morning. He even makes a sort-of friend, Sam Evans, and so thankfully has someone to sit with at lunch.

He checks out the notice boards between classes, eyeing the glee club sign-up sheet longingly before he finds what he's looking for; the boxing club. He can't say it's something he's ever particularly found himself wanting to do, the thought of getting punched in the face repeatedly after school twice a week is the exact sort of thing Blaine was hoping to avoid by transferring, but he supposes Cooper has a point. He should be able to defend himself, at the very least put up a fight.

"Hey, New Dude," Sam Evans greets him, bumping his shoulder.

"H-Hi," Blaine greets with uncertainty. He's still undecided about this friendship. At lunch Sam used no less than 6 words that incorporated 'bro' in some sense and Blaine's pretty sure he can smell his _Axe_ body spray from a mile away. He has nothing against bro-type guys per se, it's bro-type guys who usually have a problem with him and Blaine can't help but notice the shared use of brocabulary between Sam and the gang of guys who kicked the shit out of him three weeks ago. Blaine doesn't want to stay in the closet forever, but he knows all too intimately what guys like Sam do to guys like him.

"School clubs, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking of joining the boxing club," Blaine says, hoping this might win him masculinity points with his new friend. He hates himself a little for it but he just wants to fit in, have a normal high school life with maybe a few friends. It's not an awful lot to ask for.

"Really? Boxing never appealed to me, and no offense but you're kinda tiny, dude." Blaine has no response to that except to agree with Sam. The whole idea of boxing has been making his stomach turn all day but he promised Cooper he would at least try. "Hey, you should totally join glee!" Sam says excitedly, as his eyes land on the sign-up sheet.

"Wh-"

"I'm signing you up," Sam declares, taking the pen and scribbling Blaine's name on the sign up sheet, "You'll love it! I mean I thought it was totally a chick thing when I first joined but there are plenty of guys and we totally rock. We're sort of like The Bronas Brothers around here."

"Did you just add _bro_ to a phrase that already has the word _brothers_ in it?" Blaine wonders aloud, his amusement growing by the second.

"Why don't you come after school tomorrow to audition?"

Maybe Blaine was wrong about Sam, in fact he's certain he was and he's a little ashamed for assuming the worst when Sam has been nothing but welcoming to him. The only thing that held Blaine back from even considering the glee club was his fear of how people would perceive him. He had been worried about coming across as too _gay_ on his first day but here Sam is, forcing him to join glee and Blaine can't very well turn him down.

There's no reason why he can't do both, why he can't be in glee and the boxing club, why he can't enjoy himself while protecting himself.

"I'll be there," Blaine agrees.

The boxing club is, as predicted, painful and gruelling and pretty much Blaine's worst nightmare in the form of an after school club. Yet, as he emerges from the changing rooms, fresh from the shower, Blaine feels more confident in himself than he has in weeks. It was hard, and Blaine took a few good knocks to the chin but he didn't shy away, he kept pushing forward and every pent up emotion he had suppressed since that night at the dance came thundering through him when he was let loose on the punching bag. That such fury came from such a small kid was a shock to his coach but he did nothing but encourage him, correcting his angle so as not to damage his wrists and demonstrating the best technique to get the most amount of power in one punch. To his surprise, Blaine actually learned a lot and, more so, he somehow enjoyed himself. He eager for his ribs to heal completely so he can really see what he can do.  

As he rides the train home, Blaine finds that he actually can't wait to tell Cooper.

* * *

A routine soon develops. With the aid of his brother throwing items that can range from pillows to books, Blaine reluctantly wakes at 6am with a stiff back from sleeping on the lumpy sofa. He takes the train with Kurt to go to school, while Kurt continues on to work. Cooper heads downtown to the small TV studio that he's been interning at in the hopes of landing a role on TV in some form or another. On Mondays and Wednesdays Blaine has training and on Tuesdays and Thursdays he has glee, eating up a good chunk of his free time. It suits him just fine though because, although they had bonded briefly when Blaine had excitedly arrived home and told him all about his first day, things are still a little fragmented between Blaine and his brother. Cooper forgets things sometimes, like the fact that Blaine is 15 now and doesn't watch cartoons anymore and it's glaringly obvious that he just doesn't know what to say to him most of the time, how to treat him like a person rather than the kid brother he used to know. Blaine doesn't help matters either, he doesn't exactly have a whole list of conversation starters either. They just seem to drift past each other as Blaine starts to feel more and more secluded. He's grateful that Cooper is doing this for him, letting him live here and helping him stay out of Ohio, he wants to thank him, to show him how much he does appreciate it but he just doesn't know how to talk to him.

Mostly, Blaine is still trying to figure out how to say the two most important little words.

 _Im Gay_.

The fact stands between Blaine and Cooper like a wall, serving as a reminder that Cooper really doesn't know who Blaine is at all. He's slowly started to come out at school and has found an incredibly supportive group of friends in the glee club, even the guys in the boxing club barely batted an eyelid when they found out, and he's found the courage to speak to Kurt a little more confidently during their morning commute. But with Cooper, Blaine feels as though he's hitting a brick wall.

Cooper is his last shot of having any kind of family who supports him and he has no idea how exactly his brother would take the fact. If Cooper met him with the same disappointed glare as his father's, Blaine isn't sure he could bear it. The fact is, as much as Cooper doesn't know anything about Blaine, the same could be said for the reverse, Blaine can't say what Cooper's reaction will be because he might as well be a stranger to him. He's come out to him countless times in his head, trying to come up with the best way. Should he just come out and say it or make subtle hints until Cooper finally gets the message?

The words are on the tip of his tongue during every meal, at times when the apartment is filled with a seemingly comfortable quiet or whenever they watch TV together, Blaine staring disinterestedly at whatever bland sitcom is showing.

 A thousand ways of coming out are coursing through Blaine's head as he arrives home from school one Wednesday, an hour and a half earlier than normal due to glee practice being cancelled while their teacher is out sick. He pushes through the front door with his shoulder, ready to drop his heavy bag onto the floor and while away the bonus free time he's been granted before he starts on his homework when he glances up, freezing in his tracks as the door slams closed behind him.

Kurt's already home, but that's not what has him glued to the spot. Kurt's already home, and he's with someone and they're...Blaine looks away, hoping that the sight of Kurt pressing himself against some guy and moaning into his neck is an image that can soon be erased from his memory forever.

Who is he kidding?

"Blaine?!" Kurt yelps, pushing himself away from the mystery guy and to the other end of the sofa. The sofa which Blaine sleeps on.

"I'll just...um...I'll leave," Blaine stammers, unsure where to look. It's not like Kurt is naked or anything but his face is flushed and he's panting slightly and Blaine doesn't want to think about what they were leading up to.

"No...it's fine. Ricky was just going." Blaine is pretty sure Ricky was about to do the opposite of _go_ but Kurt gives the man a pointed glare and he seems to take the hint, gathering his things hastily and slipping out the door. Silence fills the apartments. Blaine sucks on his bottom lip nervously, trying to process what exactly he just saw.

"Blaine, I'm so sorry,” Kurt says in a sudden burst, shattering the silence that had been threatening to choke them both, “I-I thought you were still at school, that was...wow you really didn't need to see that. I'm so embarrassed.” Blaine doesn’t know exactly what to say. Kurt looks frantic, desperately wanting to fix what just happened and Blaine wants to put him out of his misery, tell him it’s okay but he can’t seem to find the appropriate words.

"Does Cooper know that you...?" he starts, trailing off as his courage abandons him.

"That I bring guys home and mentally scar his little brother?"

"That you bring - _guys_ \- home." There's a pause as Kurt interprets what it is Blaine is actually asking.

"Cooper knows that I'm gay yeah. Did you think it was a secret or something?" Kurt says, heading towards the kitchen and preparing a cup of coffee. Blaine follows him persistently

"And he's okay with that?" Kurt stops in his tracks, eyeing Blaine suspiciously and suddenly on guard.

"He is. Are you not?"

"No! I mean...yeah, yes I'm okay with it. Totally. It's just..." Blaine rambles, flailing for the right thing to say, trying to figure out what it is exactly that he wants to say. "He's really okay with it?"

"Blaine?"

"I...I'm glad. That's all." Blaine turns on his heel, ready to retreat into a hole and potentially die there to save from having to deal with the burning embarrassment this entire exchange has caused.

"Blaine. Look at me," Kurt commands. Blaine freezes before he turns and does so, holding Kurt's gaze for all of three seconds before his eyes land on his feet again. "Is there something you want to talk to me about? Better yet, talk to your brother about?"

"Sort of," he says in a voice so small it's a miracle that Kurt even hears.

"It's okay if you're not ready to talk about it. But I can assure you that Cooper will accept you no matter what."

"It's not that I'm not ready," Blaine admits, "in fact I've already come out to a lot of people. I know who I am and I'm okay with it,"

"So then why..."

"It's just-" Blaine starts, voice trailing off as he tries to find the right words to say. Kurt waits patiently, an empty mug in one hand while the coffee machine gurgles behind him. "My mom and dad weren't very receptive when I told them. I just really want this to work out, me living here that is, and if Cooper hates me too then - "

"Cooper's not gonna hate you."

"How can you be sure?"

"I've lived with him for three years. Half the people he knows are gay. Trust me, your brother isn't homophobic in any way. You should talk to him, I'm sure he'd want to know." Blaine takes a deep breath and exhales all of the doubt and anxiety that had been swirling within him for weeks now.

Things are awkward to say the least as Kurt tries to busy himself cleaning the kitchen while Blaine attempts to focus on his homework. It’s difficult when every time he stares at the blank page, all he can see is Kurt with…with _Ricky_. Blaine spits out the name even in his thoughts. He feels utterly ridiculous being jealous over the guy when ultimately his little crush is going to add up to nothing in the long run, but it still hurts.

Once the kitchen is spotlessly clean and with nothing else left to avoid Blaine with, Kurt eventually joins him on the sofa as he stares uselessly at his homework.

“Need any help with that?” Kurt asks, noticing Blaine’s lack of progress.

“Was he your boyfriend?” Blaine replies with, the question spilling out before he even realises he’s speaking. Kurt is caught off guard, eyes wide as Blaine tries to think of a way to take it back.

"Is he...Ricky? No," Kurt says with an exasperated look. Blaine notices that he's now the one refusing to look at Blaine. "No, he's just a guy I thought I'd fool around with to try and get over my ex, Brandon. Who dumped me. After 2 years."

"Oh…” Blaine says, trailing off as the silence descends upon them once again like an incoming tide. His heart thumps with what feels like, relief, hope maybe? His chances with Kurt are slim to none as it is but with a boyfriend in the mix, he would have had no hope. Especially a boyfriend with biceps like Ricky had. “So you guys aren't like...in love or anything?" he probes, just for extra confirmation.

"Um, no." Kurt says slowly, "not exactly. In fact, what I'm doing is actually incredibly stupid and I don't want you following in my footsteps okay? Sex should be between two people who care about each other, and if you ever decide to take that step with someone then..."

"Kurt! God please, I don't need the sex talk, honestly." Blaine says, stopping him before they're both too embarrassed to even be in one another's presence any more. He got the whole _Birds and the Bees_ speech from his father, and all the other stuff that's actually relevant to _him_ he was able to find after some late night googling followed by a thorough clean-up of his browser history.

“Right, of course. Look, how about we agree to never speak of this again? Deal?”

“I am one hundred percent okay with that. But if you don’t mind, I think I’m just gonna…”  Blaine illustrates the rest of his sentence by rising from the sofa and flipping the cushions over. This manages to evoke a laugh from Kurt and he does the same with the other cushion, raising his eyes at Blaine in an expression that says _are you happy now?_ With a laugh and a shake of his head, Blaine returns to his homework.

* * *

Blaine tells Cooper two days later, asking if he could speak to him in private after dinner. Cooper follows him out to the fire escape, joining him on the narrow metal staircase that overlooks nothing but the surrounding apartment blocks. Blaine stays silent for a few moments, hesitantly picking at a loose thread on his jeans while Cooper waits patiently, the concern evident in his eyes.

Blaine finds that once he starts, beginning with the real reason why he was attacked at the dance, he's unable to stop. Everything seems to want to spill out once, from the way their parents reacted, to the way everyone at school isolated him. Cooper listens in silence, letting Blaine get everything off his chest in one big jumbled mess of an explanation and when he's finished, he seems almost out of breath.

Cooper doesn't say anything at first and with every second that drags by in silence, Blaine's already frayed nerves threaten to snap in half entirely. He doesn't realise how badly he's shaking until Cooper rests a hand on his shoulder, Blaine looks up to find a warm smile on his lips that seems to say _it's okay_ and in the next beat Cooper pulls him into a tight hug. Blaine stiffens at first before slowly relaxing into it, feeling the tension leave his muscles as he melts into his brother. The barrier that had been holding them apart is gone in an instant and Blaine finally feels like he has a brother again after six years of his absence.

"Thank you for telling me," Cooper whispers into Blaine's floppy curls.

 


	2. 2011

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I'm not going to be around tomorrow so I'm posting chapter two early!  
> Warnings for underaged drinking and severe second hand embarrassment since Blaine is still young and stupid.

Kurt frowns at the text from Cooper;

**_Have to stay late at work. Can you make sure Blaine has dinner?_ **

It's Friday, the end of the week, and Kurt isn't sure what he can make out of the pitiful amount of ingredients they have left. He considers takeout, but they’ve ordered in far too frequently lately, there’s only so much pizza one person can take. Making a mental note to go grocery shopping in the morning, Kurt rummages through the pantry for something to make.

"How do you feel about pasta bake for dinner?" he asks, knowing they must have some pasta somewhere. It's not exactly fine cuisine but it's all he can scrape together.

"Oh, you don't have to cook for me, Kurt" Blaine says, rising from the sofa to meet Kurt in the kitchen. "I'll just make myself something later."

"If by that you mean you're going to have 2 slices of toast for dinner again then, yes I do have to cook for you. You should be having proper meals, Blaine. Besides, I'm fairly certain we're all out of bread." Kurt knows it's not his place to feel guilty. Blaine is happy here, at least he thinks so, but he can't help but feel like his teenage years are being deprived from him. He's mature for a sixteen year old, but then he had to grow up pretty fast, uprooting his entire life the way he did. He's left to take care of himself most of the time and his eating habits are more like a broke college student's than the ravenous teenager he's supposed to be. "Cooper's going to be home late by the way, so it's just you and me."

Blaine seems to perk up at that.

"Then I guess it's dinner for two."

Blaine helps Kurt prepare dinner, although with pasta bake there isn't a whole lot that needs to be done. He seems happy to help out though and Kurt is glad he has something to do. It had taken a while at first but he's long since settled into the place as their official third roommate. Kurt genuinely loves having him around, he's polite and well-spoken and it's always good to have someone on his side when Cooper tries to dictate what to watch on TV.

"I'll go set the table" Blaine says once it's clear that his help is no longer necessary. Kurt glances up from the cheese he's grating. The table is currently piled high with clutter that Blaine has already set to work on clearing.

"Oh, don't worry about that. Not much point with just the two of us. We can just eat on our laps."

"But you went to all this effort to make dinner..."

"Blaine, it's pasta bake."

"Please?" Kurt had learned shortly after Blaine's moving in that he has those same puppy dog eyes as his brother. The problem is, Kurt hasn't quite learned how to resist Blaine's yet.

"Well, if you really want to." Blaine smiles as he resumes tidying up. It's not that Kurt is opposed really, he just can't see why Blaine wants to so bad.

Once the dish is in the oven, Kurt heads for a quick shower, leaving Blaine to set the table. He emerges twenty minutes later, hair damp and dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie and is immediately conscious of the fact that Blaine is staring at him.

"What? You want me to dress for dinner as well?" he jokes, uncertain as to what exactly Blaine is looking at.

"No! You're - you're perfect," Blaine blushes as he finishes up setting the table and Kurt's heart sinks at the sight, finally taking in what exactly Blaine has set up. There are two plates facing opposite one another with two perfectly folded napkins resting on each one. Knives and forks are laid out neatly on either side and between the two place sets is a small vase with half a dozen flowers which Kurt recognises from the hanging basket outside the window. On the kitchen counter is Blaine's phone connected to a small pair of tinny speakers and playing soft instrumental music.

_Oh no._

With a flick of his wrist, Blaine ignites a match and begins to light the candle also decorating the table before Kurt rushes over.

"I'm not sure if the candle is really necessary," he says before it all becomes too much, although Kurt is pretty sure Blaine passed _too much_ while Kurt was washing his hair. "This is fine as it is, really."

_God, what is he doing?_

"Do you like it?" Blaine asks, eyes bright and expectant.

The oven timer beeps with perfect timing, allowing Kurt to forgo answering as his attention is refocused to the food itself. It smells amazing, the cheese perfectly browned on top. He pulls it from the oven as Blaine takes a seat, straightening the already perfect napkins.

A silence drapes itself around the room as they eat, despite the gentle violins playing in the background. Kurt is all too aware of the decorative vase filled with the offensive flowers and the unlit candle sitting mockingly to the side.

Anyone would think this is a date.

He looks up at Blaine who is smiling nervously into his food, his stomach churns with unease.

"So..." Kurt says only to break the unbearable awkwardness stretching over them. "How's school?"

Blaine swallows his mouthful before eagerly filling Kurt in on everything that is Birchwood High

"I'm working on a project for the glee club. It’s a competition between the girls and the boys, we have to perform songs from movies but we can't decide what to sing. I think we should do _Highway to the Danger Zone_ , you know from Top Gun, but Sam wants to do _Old Time Rock and Roll._ The vote with the rest of the guys is split evenly. _"_

"Why not do a mash up?" Kurt suggests, thankful that some sort of conversation seems to be flowing, "then everyone is happy and I'm sure you won't be too opposed to watching the guys dance around in their underwear, huh?" Kurt teases. He sees the way Blaine blushes and jumps at the opportunity to try and squash whatever crush seems to be blossoming. "You and Sam spend a lot of time together. Is there - I mean - are you two...?" Kurt prompts with a hint of playfulness in his tone. He feels like a teenage girl at a sleepover trying to coax a secret crush out of his friend, but whatever does the trick. He needs to nip this in the bud before it has the chance to get complicated.

"Me and Sam?" Blaine splutters, eyes wide at the notion. "N-no. We're just friends," Blaine says adamantly but Kurt is no fool, he's seen them hanging out together, they get along like a house on fire and Sam seems like a sweet guy. Kurt sees his window of opportunity and he strikes.

"But you think he's cute, right?"

"I...It doesn't even really matter either way. He's straight," Blaine says, practically squirming in his seat as he dodges the question.

"Wait, what? I thought for sure he was..."

"Nope. Totally straight. In fact he's dating someone. A girl."

_Damn._

"But there is actually someone else I like," Blaine continues after Kurt gives up on his plan. He freezes at the admission, glancing up to see Blaine's eyes wide and earnest gazing directly into what feels like his soul.

"Right..." he says distractedly, heart plummeting because this kid is being serious and he has no idea how to handle it.

Blaine eventually tears his gaze away and back to his food once he realises that Kurt isn't going to push to find out who. Kurt breathes a silent sigh of relief that he doesn't go ahead and confess his feelings anyway and the two go back to eating as the uncomfortable silence rejoins them for dinner.

* * *

"We have a problem."

"If it has anything to do with the fact that you're standing in front of the TV while I'm trying to watch then yes, we do."

"Cooper," Kurt says sternly, crossing his arms in the same way his dad would when he was being serious about something. Cooper seems to apparently take the hint, sitting up and muting the TV.

"Fine, what's up."

"It's Blaine. I think he has a crush on me." Cooper snorts with laughter, falling back into his lounging position and picking up the remote.

"For a second there I thought it was serious."

"Cooper!" Kurt scolds, snatching the remote from his hands before he can resume whatever garbage he was watching. "This _is_ serious."

"My sixteen year old brother has a crush, oh no the world is ending!"

"Will you take me seriously for one minute?"

"How do you even know he has a crush? He's probably just being polite, you know how he is."

"He practically sprung a surprise date on me the other day. There were flowers and romantic violin music, he even tried to light candles."

"Awww!"

"Do not ' _awww_ ' me, Cooper Anderson. This is a problem. Your brother is incredibly sweet and I really don't want to hurt him. He's had a tough enough time settling in here without making things even more awkward for him."

"There's nothing you _can_ do. Unless he actually says the words 'Kurt Hummel, will you be my sugar daddy?' just act dumb. He's a teenager and he has a silly crush, he'll get over it."

"Okay firstly, I am six years older than him, not thirty six, and secondly, you're saying that I should just ignore him? Are you not listening? I said I don't want to hurt him."

"Don't ignore him just...act normal. Platonic. Don't give him room to think that anything could happen. Look, you're overthinking this. Everyone has unrequited crushes when they’re growing up and we all make it out alive. Now can I please watch TV?"

Kurt reluctantly hands back the remote, not entirely happy with the way the conversation wound up. In all honesty he expected Cooper to have more to say on the subject. He knows that ignoring the problem won't make it go away. Over the past year he's come to know Blaine. He knows that he's polite and well-mannered but he's also determined, there's a fire in him that pushes him to get what he wants. It's how he got himself to New York and out of Ohio in the first place.

* * *

Blaine's impromptu date may not have gone entirely to plan but he's okay with that. These things take time. He didn't exactly expect Kurt to fall head over heels for him straight away but it's a start nonetheless.

He knows he's being a little ambitious, after all Kurt is older, more mature, independent, but all those things just make Blaine seem to like him more. He likes to think he's mature for his age, after all he's already moved out of his parents’ house and he's pretty sure his next bout of puberty is gonna come sometime soon.

At least, he hopes.

Besides, he knows he's not just _some kid_ to Kurt. They're roommates, friends, and Kurt actually treats him like an equal, not a child as Cooper tends to do.

"How do you get someone to like you?" Blaine asks absently over lunch. Sam pauses, spaghetti hanging from his mouth as he considers Blaine's question. Sucking up the pasta and swallowing it in one swift movement, he begins to list off a bunch of cliché cosmo tips that only an idiot wouldn't know. _Just be yourself, make them laugh, find common interests_. "I know all that," Blaine replies with a touch of impatience. "I want to know how to really talk to someone I like. How to let them know I'm interested without making a complete fool of myself."

"I don't know, tell them I guess?"

"That's the thing, I can't just...I'm not very good at just putting my heart on the line like that. What if he says no?"

"Then he says no and you get over it. Sorry dude, I'm not exactly an expert on this romance stuff myself."

"What about you and Mercedes?" Blaine inquires.

"I don’t know," Sam says, unattractively shovelling more food into his mouth. "We were hanging out and we just sorta started kissing, kinda snowballed from there."

"How do you go from friends one second to kissing the next?" Blaine asks in desperation. The thought of just hanging out with Kurt then suddenly making out with him turning his stomach inside out with jittery excitement. Sam's response is a wholly unhelpful shrug. Blaine feels like slamming his head against the table. It's impossible. Of course Kurt is never gonna see him more as just Cooper's kid brother, who is he kidding?

"You gonna tell me who this guy is or...?" Sam prompts. Blaine drops his gaze down towards his lunch, cheeks heating up.

"It's no one. Just...no one."

"Right, well I hope you and _no one_ end up very happy together." Blaine narrows his eyes in a mock glare, at least glad that Sam isn't pushing it for now. He knows anyone else in the glee club would be pestering him for details. The current dating status of any member is the highest valuing currency in the gossip mill.

"So anyway, I was thinking for that glee assignment we could do a mash up?"

* * *

"How well can you keep a secret?" Blaine raises an eyebrow at his brother’s question, curiosity suddenly piqued. He's not sure what he's more intrigued by, the fact that Cooper has a secret to tell him or the fact that for once in his life, his brother actually looks serious about something.

"Well, Dad still doesn't know that you were the one who smashed the windscreen of his Jaguar so make of that what you will."

Cooper seems to consider this for a moment, the memory flooding back to him evident in the sudden widening of his eyes.

"And we're gonna keep it that way, aren't we Squirt?" 

"I guess. Until I want something, that is." Blaine would never use such a thing against Cooper, not after everything he's done for him in the past year, but what's a little bit of harmless torture between brothers?

Cooper doesn't find the threat particularly funny and responds by pinching the underside of Blaine's arm. Blaine yelps in pain wrenching his arm away and rubbing it tenderly.

"I was kidding you jerk!"

"You're lucky I need you for this or I wouldn't bother telling you about it at all."

"Need me for what?" Blaine is still rubbing his arm sullenly, hardly interested in Cooper's big secret anymore.

"Kurt's birthday is next month."

"I know," Blaine says, pausing momentarily because it's only been on his mind constantly but he doesn't exactly want to let on that he's been obsessing over what to get him for the past two months.

"I wanted to throw him a surprise party. He's been so great about letting you stay here and helping me take care of you."

"You hardly take _care_ of me, I'm not ten" Blaine counters petulantly before he realises how his petty objection doesn't exactly help his case. "But, yeah, Kurt has been pretty awesome. A surprise party sounds like a great idea!"

"And I can't do it without your help, okay? Your job will be to keep Kurt out of the apartment while I set up, got it?" Blaine's heart skips a beat.   An opportunity to spend an entire day with Kurt? He could honestly kiss his brother right now.

"H-how am I supposed to do that?" he tries not to sound too eager, but his heart is swelling at the thought.

"I don't know, ask him to take you to the zoo or something."

"Again. I'm not ten."

"I'm trusting you to think of something." Cooper says with an encouraging pat on the back before leaving him to think it over.

Over the following few days, Blaine comes up with a grand total of zero ideas. Everything he considers somehow always lands between the two territories of _trying too hard_ and _not quite special enough._ Not to mention the fact that Blaine has barely a penny to his name, so even if he did want to go all out, he'd have a hard time doing so with no money.

Cooper is disinterested in helping, frustratingly leaving the task entirely to Blaine while he organises party guests, food, decoration and entertainment (Blaine dissuades him from hiring the stripper). Blaine will admit he has a lot on his plate, and this one simple task should be easy enough but Blaine wants to make this day special for Kurt, not just as a means to get him out of the apartment.

"I need to borrow some money," Blaine finally asks Cooper after deliberating over it for almost a week. He hates to ask, the last thing he wants is to seem ungrateful but he's desperate.

For once, Blaine actually manages to gain Cooper's full attention. He doesn't reply, just waits for Blaine to elaborate. "For Kurt's birthday present."

"What? You don't need to get Kurt a gift. He's not gonna expect one, just consider the party his present," Cooper says, dismissing his request just like that and returning his attention to the list of people who still have yet to RSVP.

"But I _want_ to get him something," Blaine insists, taking a seat besides Cooper.

"But it won't be you getting it for him, will it? You know, considering it will be bought with _my_ money," Cooper replies smugly.

"Cooper, I know my mom has been sending you cheques to cover the extra costs of me living here. It won't hurt to just take a little from that, right? Plus it's gonna be a little difficult for me to keep Kurt out of the house all day if all I can afford to do is go to McDonald's."

Cooper sighs, reluctantly pulling out his wallet.

"Fine," he says, "how much do you need?"

"Uhh, maybe two hundred dollars?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? No way!"

"Fine. Mcdonald's it is. But if Kurt gets bored and wants to come home before you're done setting up then there's not a lot I can do about it," Blaine says petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back into the sofa.

"You're such a brat," Cooper growls, shoving the bills back into his wallet and handing Blaine his card.

"Love you too," Blaine replies, taking the card with a self-satisfied grin before heading off to order Kurt's gift.

* * *

Kurt is relaxing on the sofa when Blaine approaches him one evening, clutching an envelope in both hands. They haven't spoken extensively since their incredibly awkward dinner several weeks ago. Aside from the occasional moment of lingered eye contact, Kurt would have otherwise thought that he had imagined Blaine's obvious crush.

"What's this?" Kurt takes the envelope as Blaine hands him shyly. The thick brown paper is decorated with green ribbon and Kurt's name is written in fancy calligraphy. He eyes Blaine with uncertainty.

"A gift. For your birthday."

"But my birthday isn't for another week..."

"I know!" Blaine says quickly, as though quick to assure Kurt that he hasn't messed this up completely. "I just...thought you'd like to know what it is early since it's kind of going to take up most of the day." Kurt holds Blaine's gaze for a moment before letting his eyes drop to the envelope. His stomach drops as he realises that Blaine's crush hasn't simmered out like he had hoped. In Kurt's avoidance of him it's only seems to have grown. "Well, aren't you going to open it?" Blaine prompts excitedly, sitting beside Kurt on the sofa, their legs pressed together.

Kurt swallows heavily, placing a finger under the flap of the envelope and carefully opening it. He pulls out two tickets to a matinee of _Wicked_ and dinner reservations for afterwards, solidifying his fears that Blaine is far from over his crush.

"This is...wow," he says, hoping that his speechlessness doesn't come across as ungratefulness. 

"Do you like it? I remember you saying how _Wicked_ was the first show you ever saw on Broadway and how much it inspired you so..."

"You really shouldn't have, Blaine. This is too much." What Blaine has set up here is essentially a second date. Kurt is honestly touched that he would go to such lengths. Blaine is sweet, too sweet for his own good and no guy has ever done anything like this to impress him before but he really needs to put a stop to this infatuation before it gets out of hand.

Blaine smiles in response, hopeful and optimistic, waiting for the validation that he did well. If Kurt had no suspicions of Blaine's feelings then he'd be more than touched. The fact that Blaine remembers Kurt mentioning _Wicked_ when it must have been months ago is proof enough that Blaine really cares. Kurt can't help but be grateful, despite the circumstances.

He tries not to dread his birthday. It's silly, really, to get so wound up over a simple show and dinner. He spends the week reassuring himself that it will be fine. He and Blaine are friends, they get along far better than Blaine seems to with his brother at least, and Kurt does enjoy his company. But the nagging feeling that Blaine is hoping for more only ever seems to fill him with guilt.

Cooper tells him he's being ridiculous, assuring him that Blaine is just being nice and Kurt tries to believe him as they leave for the theatre on the afternoon of his birthday, leaving behind a small pile of birthday gifts sitting on the coffee table beside a crumpled up ball of gift wrap.

As it turns out, Kurt had fretted over nothing. Blaine is a perfect companion for the day and never pushes beyond the imaginary boundaries that Kurt has set up in his mind. He asks about the show, having never seen it before himself and Kurt finds himself watching Blaine's reactions to everything more than the show itself, having seen it countless times since moving to the city. Kurt can see himself reflected in Blaine's awed expression from way back when he saw the show for the first time, overwhelmed by the theatrics of everything. Kurt knows how he must be feeling all too precisely.

Dinner is slightly more awkward than the show. With nothing to focus his attention on, there's not much else to do except to embrace Blaine's company while repeating the mantra _it's not a date_ over and over again.

If Blaine feels any of the residue awkwardness, he doesn't show it. He chatters animatedly, and Kurt is able to at least feel comfortable that Blaine is taking control of the conversation. He enjoys himself, more so than he thought he would, and only wishes that he could stop being so damn tense all the time. The only thing spoiling this perfect day is his own paranoia.

Blaine tries to pay the bill for dinner but Kurt is adamant, arguing that Blaine has already spent way more money than Kurt knows he has. Blaine is stubborn about it but eventually the bill is split.

It's about 8pm as they head up the stairs of their apartment building. Blaine is jittery and keeps glancing over at Kurt, his attempts at subtlety failing to fool him. Blaine is waiting for something, and Kurt grows nervous as they approach the apartment.

Blaine takes a slight step back as Kurt slips his key into the lock and turns the handle but before he can even send him a questioning look, the abrupt cheer of "SURPRISE!" almost has Kurt jumping out of his skin.

Blaine is laughing and the apartment is full of people, his friends, co-workers, pretty much everyone he knows here in New York. He's speechless as Cooper steps towards him with his usual cocky grin, waiting to be congratulated on organising everything. Kurt wants to simultaneously punch him and hug him but he's forced to stick with the latter as his roommate pulls him into a fierce bear hug.

"I hope spending the day with Blaine wasn't too much punishment, had to keep you outta here somehow," Coop says, releasing Kurt as everyone steps forward to offer their own birthday wishes. Overwhelmed, Kurt tries to thank everyone but there are just too many people and he can’t quite believe that they're all here for him! Blaine remains stood to the side, cast away now that there's a room full of people demanding Kurt's attention. Kurt throws him a grateful smile, suddenly at ease with how they had spent their day. Of course he was just being paranoid and he can't help but feel guilty for assuming. Maybe he had made the whole thing up. Maybe Blaine didn't have a schoolboy crush after all and maybe Kurt was just being conceited in thinking that was the case in the first place.

He casts the thoughts away, thanking his friends for coming and accepting the Pina Colada that Cooper hands him, complete with a pineapple wedge and a tiny umbrella.

It doesn't take long for the party to get started. Cooper knows how to throw a party and he's gone all out, the apartment is covered in balloons and banners, there's a buffet table piled with food and at least 6 different types of cheesecake, a playlist of songs alternating between top forty and Broadway classics with some microphones set up for the inevitable karaoke, Cooper had even managed to find a ping pong table for beer pong. The beach themed cocktail bar however is quite possibly Kurt's favourite feature as he goes back for a third drink, letting Cooper mix him a Mai Tai this time and feeling pleasantly tipsy after a few sips.

He dances sloppily, spilling his drink a little and leaving his hands sticky with rum. He's not drunk, not really, but he is definitely feeling buzzed and is fast losing his inhibitions, bouncing around and shouting the words to his favourite songs.

It takes a few more drinks before Kurt is dragged along for a game of beer pong and finding that, despite how the room has begun to spin, that he has a surprisingly good aim, winning three out of four games. He celebrates loudly and freely, not caring that he feels like he’s at a college frat party. It feels good to let loose every now and then.

"Am I the best roommate ever or what?" Cooper says proudly, shouting just a little to be heard over the music as he takes up the position opposite Kurt at the table. It must say something about Kurt's current alcohol levels that Cooper, the king of partying, doesn’t seem to be even the slightest bit drunk. He picks up the ping pong ball and flips it effortlessly into one of Kurt's cups, filled halfway with beer. Kurt chugs it reluctantly, hating the bitter taste and smacking his lips together distastefully once his cup is empty.

"You have your perks," Kurt replies with a smile, feeling bubbly and light just...happy. All of his friends are here dancing outrageously to cheesy music and he's just on the right side of drunk by this point.

Cooper smirks fondly, throwing his second ball and landing it in another of Kurt's cups.

"Crap," Kurt mutters, picking up the second cup with disdain. He downs it in one, feeling the alcohol go straight to his head. "Okay, now I really gotta pee," he admits, pushing himself away from the table and heading down the hall to the bathroom. The _thump thump_ of whatever dance record is playing beats persistently but the melodies are muffled once the bathroom door is closed behind him. The room is tilted, as though one end is propped up on stilts and Kurt stumbles slightly as he tries to maintain his balance until the room returns to normal.

Washing his hands after relieving himself, Kurt does a quick check in the mirror, splashing a few handfuls of water on his face to try and sober up a little, not wanting to get too wasted. Once recomposed, Kurt steps outside, ready to rejoin the party, only to come face to face with Blaine who's stood immediately outside the bathroom door. Kurt feels just a little guilty, the last time he even remembers seeing him was hours ago when Cooper had snatched a beer out of his hand. In truth, he'd kind of forgotten he was here.

"Kurt!" he exclaims, eyes wide and bright and even more optimistic than his usual cheerful self and he's wobbling slightly from side to side. "I found you!"

 _Oh god, he's drunk_.

"You having a good time, Blaine?" Kurt asks, half amused and half horrified. He's only sixteen after all.

"Best! You're the best...party is. Your party. And it's the best." Kurt isn't quite sure if any of what Blaine said was a real sentence but he takes it anyway.

"Thank you?"

"Happy Birthday!" Blaine flings himself into a hug, leaning his entire weight into Kurt, if it wasn't for the closed door behind Kurt, they'd have both collapsed to the floor.

"I think we need to get you to bed, mister," Kurt decides, taking Blaine's arms in both hands and attempting to steer them both in the direction of his own bedroom due to the fact that Blaine's is barely much more than a sofa, and is currently occupied.

"Nooo," Blaine whines, "'m having fun!"

"Know what's more fun? Sleeping!"

"Liar," Blaine retorts, looking, for a moment, genuinely offended.

Despite Blaine's protests, Kurt manages to guide him towards the bedroom, closing the door firmly shut behind him.

"You know Cooper will go insane if he finds out about this, right?" Kurt says, attempting to be stern but not quite succeeding when his own voice is slightly slurred.

"He's not the boss of me," Blaine says and Kurt doesn't have the energy to disagree, not when Blaine threatens to topple onto the floor the moment Kurt releases his hold.

"Okay, okay, steady now," Kurt says, catching Blaine before he falls and holding him upright. He stays standing for barely a few seconds before he falls forward against Kurt's chest once again.

"Love you," he mumbles, burying his face into Kurt's shoulder. Kurt laughs nervously, heart pounding as he tries to figure out how to handle this situation. He walks them both forward slightly, inching closer to the bed where he hopes to place Blaine but Blaine just wraps his arms tighter around Kurt's waist, hugging him tightly. He looks down at Blaine to find his eyes filled with some sort of desperate wanting and his heart stutters, knowing what that look means and knowing what Blaine wants. Before he can extract himself from Blaine's grip, two soft lips rush upwards to meet his own, crushing his mouth with the drunken desperate kiss of a teenager in love.

Kurt's alcohol addled mind takes a moment to catch up with the situation but the second it does, he's screaming at himself that this is all sorts of wrong. He gently presses against Blaine's shoulders, turning his head away from the kiss. Blaine sweetly places a peck on Kurt's cheek, his heart breaks for him.

"Kurt..." he mumbles, lips still ghosting over the skin of Kurt's cheek.

"No," Kurt asserts, praying that the door behind him remains firmly shut. This is a delicate situation that he needs to handle with care. "No, Blaine this is wrong."

"Why?" he says, whining again but he doesn't push Kurt further. His eyes are round and sad, as though he's just heard the worst news of his life, making Kurt feel like a monster for making him feel this way. This is everything he wanted to avoid, everything he's tried so hard to prevent. He never wanted to be the first person to break Blaine's heart this way.

"Come on, you should sleep. You shouldn't be drinking at your age anyway," he says, deflecting the real situation at hand. Blaine goes willingly when Kurt urges him towards the bed, sitting down in a slump as though the very ground had been taken out from under him. Blaine looks down at his feet, attempts to kick off his shoes but his movements are clumsy and off target. "Here," Kurt says, bending down on one knee to remove his shoes and placing them to the side of the bed. Blaine offers a mumbled _thank you_ but it's barely audible. "How are you feeling? Do you feel like you're gonna throw up?" Kurt asks, concerned about how much Blaine must have drunk for him to be in this state and trying to do anything to ignore what just happened between them. With any luck the alcohol will wash away Blaine's memories of what happened and he won't have to deal with it at all.

"No. Just tired," Blaine replies. His eyes are beginning to droop now, the excitement and adrenaline he must have felt earlier replaced by rejection.

"I'll go get you a glass of water and then you can sleep, okay?" Kurt says, rising back to his feet.

Returning to the party is a shock to Kurt's system, like jumping into an ice cold bath on a hot day. He'd almost entirely forgotten about it with everything that has happened in the last ten minutes. He makes a beeline for the kitchen, grabbing a red plastic cup and filling it with water before returning to his bedroom, only to find Blaine passed out already, clutching one of Kurt's pillows tightly to his chest. Kurt can't help but grin slightly at the sight, remembering the disastrous first time he had gotten drunk himself. As quiet as he can, Kurt tiptoes to the bed, placing the cup of water on the nightstand should Blaine wake up during the night before shutting out the light and rejoining the party.

* * *

The kitchen lights are all too bright as Kurt nurses an extra strong cup of coffee the next morning. He'd stopped drinking after he had put Blaine to bed but with such little sleep and the amount he had initially drunk, Kurt is feeling a little worse for wear.

The apartment is silent, Cooper and Blaine not yet risen, Kurt just wishes that the damn car alarm outside would keep it down before he goes down there with a baseball bat and gives it a reason for making such noise. The coffee isn't nearly strong enough and Kurt longs for the comfort of his own bed, having been forced to sleep on the sofa that night. His back aches from the old, lumpy cushions, he has no idea how Blaine manages to sleep there every night. There's a stir coming from the direction of his bedroom and sure enough, Blaine appears several moments later, face ghostly pale and hair sticking up at every angle.

"Good morning," Kurt says, attempting to keep his voice soft for Blaine's sake. He winces at the sound anyway and Kurt almost wants to laugh at this poor unfortunate underage drinker.

"I'm just gonna..." Blaine mumbles gesturing towards the fire escape as he starts towards it, avoiding Kurt's gaze.

Kurt sighs.

"No you're not," he says. He'd been hoping that Blaine wouldn't remember the events of last night but the amount of tension in the room right now seems to have squashed that hope. "We should discuss this. I don't want you avoiding me because things might be a little awkward. We live together, and we're friends so we should be able to talk about this like two adults, right?"

Blaine looks up, studying Kurt carefully before a brief flicker of a smile graces his lips. Kurt releases the breath he hadn't realised he had even been holding the moment Blaine takes a careful step towards the table Kurt's sat at.

"I need some coffee first," Blaine admits.

"I just made a fresh pot."

Blaine pours himself a cup, taking his time adding milk and sugar, clearly stalling. Kurt waits patiently for him to gingerly pull out a seat, wincing once again as it scrapes across the floor.

"How's the head?" he asks, feeling only slightly guilty for how amusing he's finding all of this.

"Like there's a bulldozer inside my skull."

"I told you to drink some water before you went to sleep but did you listen?" Kurt scolds fondly.

"So you're an expert at hangovers are you?" Blaine retorts. Kurt laughs softly, knowing that he must be looking a little worse for wear but happy that they seem to be comfortable enough with each other for now. The real issue looms over them, like a third guest at the breakfast table that they're mutually ignoring. They sip their coffee in companionable silence for a few moments, acknowledging the ticking clock and the fact that neither of them is bringing up the elephant in the room.

Kurt decides to be the one to break the rapidly thickening ice. Clearing his throat and with a pointed "So," he begins the discussion.

"I'm so sorry," Blaine says quickly, clearly wanting to get this over with as fast as possible. "I was drunk, it was stupid. I'm sorry if I ruined your birthday."

"You didn't ruin my birthday, far from it. I had a great day, Blaine, honestly. But last night...you've had these feelings for a while, haven't you? Feelings for me, I mean." It feels conceited to say such a thing out loud but Blaine will never admit it himself, at least not sober, and it's something that needs to be addressed. Blaine turns beet red, staring fixatedly at his cup as though it holds all of the secrets of the universe. "Hey, come on, no need to be embarrassed, honestly I'm flattered. You're like, the sweetest guy I know, and you mean a lot to me." Blaine looks up, eyes ever so slightly hopeful until Kurt continues, "but I have to be honest with you, this isn't something that can happen, okay? You're sixteen, and if that balloon over there is accurate, I'm twenty-two, unfortunately. It's...well it's sort of illegal, not to mention the fact that you're my best friend's little brother."

"I feel like an idiot," Blaine says, slumping in his chair.

"Well you shouldn't. You know who my first crush was on? My stepbrother." Blaine's eyes bug and Kurt chuckles at the expression. "Granted, he wasn't my stepbrother at the time. And the only reason we ended up related was because I introduced our parents, somehow thinking it would bring us closer together, which it did but not in the way that I had hoped. I felt like an idiot too. But that's what being sixteen is all about, being an idiot."

"Gee, thanks." Blaine's smile is sweet, if a little sad.

"See, that wasn't so painful, was it? Talking things through, being honest."

"Maybe not for you," Blaine says, a little more life in his voice by now, "but my heart is broken right now, so thanks for that," he jokes and Kurt knows he's joking but the stab of guilt that strikes him stings nonetheless.

"One day you'll meet somebody, and he'll sweep you off your feet and you're gonna fall for him so hard that you'll forget all about me," Kurt promises. "You're a great guy, Blaine. Honestly, you're sweet, handsome, if I was your age I'm sure I'd have the biggest crush on you."

"Thanks," Blaine responds, "And thanks for looking out for me last night. Coop would have killed me if he'd found out."

"Let's just keep last night between us then, deal?" Kurt offers, to which Blaine nods with affection.

The sound of the door opening, startles Kurt, certain that Cooper is still in bed but sure enough, his roommate enters through the front door in a pair of shorts and a vest, hair damp from what must be sweat since the day is clear.

"Where have you been?" Kurt questions, wondering what time he must have woken to have been out of the apartment without Kurt even knowing.

"Jogging," Cooper replies, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl and biting into it noisily.

"You don't jog," Kurt says matter-of-factly.

"I go every morning," Cooper says as though this isn't brand new information to Kurt, "I usually get home earlier than this, before you get up, but I didn't exactly get the best night’s sleep last night because _someone_ decided to get wasted and I had to stay up half the night making sure he didn't choke on his own vomit," he says with a furious glare directed at his brother. Blaine shrinks in his chair, staring once again at his coffee that must be stone cold by now. "What the _hell_ were you thinking?" he demands, shouting now.

"I don't know," Blaine mumbles sullenly, "that everyone else was having fun and I wanted to as well?"

"I specifically forbade you from drinking and you deliberately disobeyed me."

"Jeez, I'm sorry," Blaine says, biting back and raising his voice to match Cooper's, "but you didn't have to stay up all night with me, I was fine!"

 "What if you weren't fine? What would your mom say, huh? I could call her right now and she'd drag your ass right back to Ohio." Blaine's face hardens at the threat.

"You wouldn't," he says angrily, the slight quiver in his voice betraying his uncertainty.

"If you don't get outta my sight in the next ten seconds then I just might. You're grounded, okay?"

"You can't _ground_ me. You're not dad."

"I can do whatever the hell I like while you're living here, so if I say you’re grounded, then you’re grounded and that’s final," Cooper growls.

"What are you gonna do, send me to my room? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but _I don't have one!_ " Blaine yells, pushing his chair out forcefully and storming towards the fire escape. He slams the window shut behind him, the glass shuddering loudly in the frame and Kurt is relieved that it doesn't smash entirely. Cooper takes a seat at the table, pressing his hands against his face and sighing loudly.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with him?"

"Don't you think you're overreacting a little?" Kurt suggests gently, regretting it immediately when Cooper sends him a glare that could rival the one he gave his brother just now.

"No, Kurt. I'm not overreacting. I told him not to do something and he did it anyway. He's _sixteen_ , he should not be drinking and he certainly shouldn't be getting drunk."

"Cooper, he’s going to try these things out sooner or later. Wouldn't you rather he did it here, where we can watch out for him than, say, at a stranger's party or in some sleazy bar with a fake ID? If you forbid someone from doing something it's only going to make them want do it even more."

"Whose side are you on?" Cooper sneers.

"I'm not on anybody's side!" Kurt exclaims, hands raised defensively. "And I'm tired of being stuck in the middle of you two fighting all the time. But I do think that you're being a little hard on him. Especially considering the way you act."

"What?" Cooper spits, bewildered at the accusation.

"Oh, come on. Ever since I met you, you've spent practically every weekend out at some club getting drunk."

"Wow, okay, clearly you haven’t noticed but I haven’t had a single drink since Blaine moved in here," Cooper says angrily, "I cleaned up my act for him. I grew up. So don't accuse me of being a bad influence or whatever it is you're trying to imply." Cooper snatches his bottle of water from the table and heads to his room, leaving Kurt alone in the kitchen and caught in the middle of both the Anderson brothers yet again.

He thought that they'd been starting to get along. It had taken a while for Blaine to settle in, especially since he and Cooper hadn't been close for years before Blaine showed up at their door, but things had been going well for the last few months or so.

Pouring the last few dregs of his coffee down the sink, Kurt heads to the fire escape to check on Blaine. His knuckles rap on the window and Blaine's head snaps round in surprise before returning to its previous position as he stares blankly out at nothing. Kurt takes that as welcome enough to carefully open the window and slip out as gracefully as possible, a task that is not easy with the tiny size of the window taken into consideration. Blaine is sat on the floor, slumped forward against the bars of the railings as his feet dangle over the edge. Kurt sits cross legged beside him, all too aware of how filthy the metal bars must be and doing his best to put it out of his mind.

"Hey," Kurt says lightly, not wanting to overwhelm him too much. Blaine says nothing in reply and Kurt is at a loss for what he should do. Teenagers can be unpredictable, but Kurt has never thought of him as just another moody teenager, he's just a boy, a sweet boy who's doing his best to feel at home and like he belongs. But when he clashes with Cooper he can be temperamental, he can be moody and petulant and everything that a sixteen year old boy should be. Kurt just wants him to know that it's okay; that he's allowed to lose his temper and get angry. He gets the feeling that Blaine suppresses too much, too concerned with not messing up and not being a hassle for Cooper and himself that he doesn't let himself feel half the things he should. Whenever he's upset he goes out to the fire escape, not having his own room to cool down in. Kurt can't imagine not having a space to call his own, not having any privacy, especially at Blaine's age. It’s no wonder he and Cooper butt heads so much.  

"Do you want to talk or would you rather be alone right now?" Kurt asks. Blaine shrugs, still staring blankly ahead, fixated on the brick wall of the apartment block opposite. It's not the best of views.

Kurt waits for a few moments to see if Blaine is willing to offer a definitive answer before he makes the decision himself. He rises to his feet, deciding to leave Blaine by himself when two amber coloured eyes, wide and glossy look up at him desperately.

"Please don't go," he begs. Kurt's heart constricts, how could he say no?

He wordlessly takes a seat again, waiting for Blaine to say something to warrant his staying and wondering if all he wants is just some company until finally he speaks.

"Why does he always use that against me? Threatening to send me back…” Kurt glances at Blaine as he speaks.

"He just wants what's best for you," Kurt says, cringing at how cliché he sounds, how much like a parent he must sound, the good guy in a bad cop/good cop duo. "He's not gonna send you back to Ohio."

"He treats me like a little kid," Blaine says bitterly. " _Go to the zoo Blaine. Why don't you watch some cartoons, Blaine. Don't forget to eat your vegetables, Blaine_ " he imitates with a scowl. 

"I guess sometimes he forgets. I mean, the last time he spent any length of time with you was before he left home, right? And how old were you then? Nine? Ten? It must be hard for him to see his sweet little kid of a brother suddenly as an adult. Well...almost an adult," Kurt adds with a smile. "But he has a point. You _are_ too young to be drinking, especially like that, and if he told you not to and you did it anyway then of course he's gonna be mad."

"But that's the thing," Blaine says, turning to face Kurt, the hurt evident in his eyes that Kurt isn't taking his side, "He doesn't get to tell me what to do, he's not my dad."

"No, he's not your dad but he is responsible for you. He's your legal guardian now. At least until you're eighteen."

"But I don't _want_ him to be responsible for me or be my legal guardian or whatever," Blaine cries, "I just...I just want him to be my brother again."

"I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, Blaine, but he stopped being your brother the minute you came to live here. A big brother's job is to be the cool one, to let you do all the fun things your parents won't without having to deal with any of the consequences. But Cooper can't do that anymore because if he screws up there's no one else around to clean up the mess afterward. He loves you so much and he's doing everything he can to try and be responsible enough to look out for you. He gave up drinking and going out himself so he could focus on being here for you."

"Good to know I've done nothing but suck the fun out of his life," Blaine replies sulkily.

"You haven't, far from it. You know, before, he'd be out almost every weekend partying but since you got here, I honestly don't think I've seen him happier. He pulled himself together for your sake but in doing so, he's actually turned his life around."

And it's true. Kurt had been oblivious until now. Since Blaine moved in, he hasn't given much thought to how his life used to be even just a year ago. The apartment is livelier now, gone are the days he'd spend whole weekends by himself because Cooper was out god knows where. And as a result, Kurt realises now that Cooper has being doing better at work, being asked to stay late on extra projects and given more creative freedom. He's eating healthier and he's even started jogging it would seem. Cooper really has grown up in the short amount of time that Blaine has been living with them but it's only now that everything has clicked into place, that it's become obvious that Blaine was the catalyst for such a change. The only problem is that to Blaine, Cooper must have changed almost beyond recognition.

Kurt leaves Blaine to his own thoughts. Back inside he finds Cooper clearing up the monumental mess that is the aftermath of last night's party and, grabbing a black bag, gets to work on helping.

"He okay?" Cooper asks, breaking the silence that Kurt had feared would become awkward.

"I think he's still adjusting to everything. He..." Kurt starts, wondering how much he should divulge. "He says he misses you being _you_."

Cooper nods, seemingly understanding.

"I'm doing my best..."

"I know, and honestly I think you're doing great."

"Listen, I'm sorry about what I said, I know that that's not what you were trying to say. I didn't mean to take it out on you." Kurt smiles in response accepting the apology but his reply is cut short by Blaine climbing back in through the window. Kurt and Cooper stop in their tracks as Blaine re-enters the room. He takes a short look at Cooper before his eyes refocus to the ground.

"I just remembered...I have to head to the store to pick up some things so I'll...leave you guys to it if you don't mind," Kurt says, knowing that they need some privacy but not leaving without a plan.

* * *

When Kurt returns, the apartment is spotless. Blaine is still sullen looking, laying aimlessly on the sofa and staring up at the ceiling. Cooper is nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asks, dropping his shopping bags on the floor. Blaine barely looks at him.

"I'm fine," his voice is flat and even, an obvious indicator that he isn't exactly fine.

"Did you talk to your brother?

"Yeah."

"And?" Kurt says, growing frustrated at his simple responses.

"He apologised for yelling, told me he's gonna work at being a better brother but that I'm still grounded."

"That seems fair," Kurt says.

"I guess."

"Blaine, what's going on?" he questions gently, perching on the armchair and facing Blaine. He finally glances over at Kurt offering little more than a shrug.

"Nothing," he says in an almost convincing tone.

But not quite.

"Talk to me."

"there's nothing - "

"Blaine."

He sighs, refocusing his gaze back up to the ceiling.

"I think I'm gonna go back home. To Ohio that is," he confesses and as he does so, Kurt can see the tears already begin to swell. Kurt's heart breaks, not just at the fact that Blaine is so withdrawn but because he honestly really doesn't want him to go.

"Any reason why?" he asks, hoping his voice remains calm. If this is what Blaine wants he won't stop him but he is next to certain that that's not the case.

"You know why," he says with a self-deprecating scoff, "It's not working out. Me and Cooper are fighting more than ever, there's barely enough room for me anyway. I'm just a burden."

"You're not a burden," Kurt tells him "And what about the bullies?" he reminds him when he gets no response, Kurt watches as his hands close into tense fists but his face remains unchanged.

"I'll be fine," he lies. Kurt knows he won't be. He closes his eyes, before exhaling deeply.

"Well...I hope you'll reconsider. I have a project that we can do today, all three of us, and I feel like it'd go to waste if you left." Blaine frowns, glancing at Kurt once again.

"What is it?"

"That's for me to know and for you to work out for yourself. So are you gonna help me?"

"I...I guess?"

"Good. Now up. We need to move this couch."

Kurt calls Cooper in, who is just as confused as Blaine is as Kurt starts dishing out commands on where to move the furniture. Before long they manage to squeeze everything into one corner, the sofa, the TV, the coffee table and the bookcase all cosily arranged into a tiny but functional living area, leaving them with an equally as small and entirely empty space next to it.

"Okay I think I know what you're planning here, Kurt. Are you insane? We can't just build another bedroom, we're renting this place, remember?" Cooper says, and Blaine's eyes widen at the mention of another room as everything slots into place for him.

"Wait is this for me?"

"Of course I know we can't build anything," Kurt says with frustration, "and hush, you're gonna spoil the surprise."

"Then what the hell are you -" Cooper starts but falls silent as Kurt pulls out two huge curtains from the bags he had brought in earlier.

"We can't build a wall but there's nothing stopping us from putting up a few partition curtains, right?" Blaine's face finally breaks out into a huge, wide smile.

"I'm gonna have my own room?" he asks excitedly.

"Do I not get a say in this?" Cooper demands as Blaine helps Kurt unfold one of the curtains.

"No," the both say in unison. Cooper recognises defeat when he sees it and, with a smile, helps them set up the two curtains.

Once it's done, Blaine doesn't seem to be physically able to wipe the grin off his face. The space isn't exactly huge, but it's private and it's his.

"I know there isn't really a door but if the curtains are closed then we won't come in," Kurt promises as Blaine walks around his newly allocated space as though it were an entirely new room that has just been glued onto the side of their apartment. "And we can check out some thrift stores to get you some furniture. An actual bed. That is, if you decide to stay."

"Of course I'll stay," he says, rushing over and hugging Kurt, "thank you." breaking away from Kurt, he hugs Cooper next who seems surprised to say the least. "Sorry for being a brat." Cooper chuckles, ruffling Blaine's hair fondly.

"That's what kid brothers are for," Coop says before noticing his mistake and correcting himself, "Sorry, _teenage_ brothers. And hey, now I have some place to send you to when you're grounded. Which you still are." Kurt half expects Blaine to protest but he just smiles, seemingly happy at the prospect of being grounded. For the first time since he moved in, it actually feels as though Blaine's presence is a permanent one.


	3. 2012

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief Blaine/Sebastian will be featured in this chapter! Baby Blainers is growing up!

The new guy is cute. That's Blaine's first impression at least. He hasn't taken much notice of him other than that small fact and the arrogant way he struts through the school as though he owns the place on his very first day. For a while that's that. There’s a new kid. He's cute. But he'll never talk to him, that would be crazy!

At least, Blaine never plans on talking to him, but the guy seems to be persistently showing up more and more in Blaine's daily life than what would seem necessary. They share almost every class together, he learns as the week drags on, and at lunch Blaine can't shake the feeling that he's staring at him, averting his gaze the moment Blaine turns his head. It's interesting to say the least. No one's ever showed an interest in him before and Blaine isn't sure what the procedure is in this kind of situation. Should he introduce himself at least? The guy seems to have found himself enough friends already though, effortlessly winning over the affection of the coolest kids at school. Eventually Blaine just puts the whole thing down to his own overactive imagination. He's been burned before by misplaced affections, he's not keen to go down that road again.

The last thing he expects is for the guy to walk in while he's getting extra practise in the weight room after school, slamming his fists into the punching bag.

"Surely you don't need to box to get hit on by all the guys," he says cockily, startling Blaine and causing his punch to miss and slide off the target. He falls forward, catching himself on the bag with both hands somewhat ungracefully and snaps his head round, mouth gaping.

"I'm not - I mean I don't," Blaine stutters, not too sure what it is exactly he's trying to suggest. His heart is pounding and he can't be certain if it's from the workout or the fact that the cute new guy is standing before him, looking at him, _talking_ to him. Said new guy extends a hand expectantly and Blaine clumsily removes his mitt to shake it, futilely hoping that his hands aren't too sweaty.

"Sebastian Smythe," he introduces himself with a cocky grin. Blaine gulps.

"Blaine...uh Anderson."

"Well Blaine-uh-Anderson, it's nice to finally put a name to that gorgeous face." Blaine's heart, which had previously been pounding as though the very organ were trying to escape, suddenly stops. He can't possibly have heard that right. Sebastian though doesn't seem fazed by Blaine's obliviousness. He takes a step closer and Blaine realises just how much height he has over him and tries not to be intimidated. He just complimented him, right? So why does he feel so timid?

"You know, I can think of a much more satisfying way of getting all hot and sweaty," he whispers into Blaine's ear, despite there being no one else around. He accompanies the implication with a suggestive grin that causes Blaine's entire body to flush. "Cute," Sebastian comments, eyeing Blaine up and down, "bashful schoolboy, I like it."

Before Blaine can even pull himself together to form anything that resembles a reply, Sebastian is heading back out the door, sending Blaine a flirtatious wink as he goes. "See you around, Killer."

* * *

"Blaine? You home?" Cooper calls dumping his bag on the kitchen table.  "I need you to help me with something."

"Just a sec," comes a strained reply from Blaine's makeshift bedroom. Cooper frowns, half stepping towards Blaine's room before the curtains are abruptly tossed aside and the tall, lean, and _topless_ figure of another boy strolls out with a self-satisfied grin. Cooper is rendered speechless, not quite believing that it was Blaine's bedroom he just walked out of. He'd expect this from Kurt but not his kid brother. The stranger pulls his shirt over his head as Blaine follows him out, looking sheepish and flushed and Cooper looks between the pair, adding everything up with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"See you later, Blaine," the boy says, locking Blaine's lips in a firm kiss before looking over Blaine's shoulder at Cooper with a smugness that he immediately dislikes. "Bye Blaine's Dad." Cooper plasters an artificial smile across his lips as the guy leaves.

"What the hell did that kid just say to me?" he asks rhetorically, looking pointedly at Blaine who has risen a hand to sheepishly rub at the back of his head, directing Cooper's attention to the large red bruise on Blaine's neck. "What the hell is that?" he demands, storming towards Blaine and getting a closer look. His brother has a hickey. His baby brother was alone in his bedroom with a guy and now has a hickey.

"Nothing..." Blaine says defensively, taking a step back and covering the mark with his hand.

"You invited a guy over without asking me first and you were...god do I even want to know what you were doing?"

"We weren’t...you know..." A silence stretches out between them, one that they both know all too well as Cooper tries to figure what exactly his role needs to be in this kind of situation. "Are you mad?" Blaine asks worriedly and Cooper hates it, hates that his brother should feel scared of upsetting him. They've had many ups and downs since Blaine moved in and thankfully the ups had started to outnumber the downs. Cooper can't imagine not having Blaine there anymore and he regrets neglecting him for so long before that night he showed up at his door. He missed so much.

"No," he replies, shoulders drooping slightly, because he isn't. He knows exactly how he feels right now and it isn't anger. "I'm not mad, Squirt. I just keep forgetting that you're an adult now that's all. It's sort of terrifying, you know. I mean look at you, you're growing up. You've even got biceps almost as big as mine. What happened to your little spaghetti arms, huh? The boxing has done you good!" He says, playfully hitting his brother in the arm. Blaine's relief is evident in his smile as the tension begins to alleviate. "You know you can talk to me about this kinda stuff, right? Or Kurt if you'd feel more comfortable, he might have more answers than me. Just promise me you won't jump into anything you're not ready for okay, Squirt?"

"I won't," Blaine says.

"And if you ever need condoms or anything-"

"Cooper. I know all this stuff okay," Blaine silences him, thankfully before things can get too mortifying.

"Good that's...good."

"But can you just do me one favour?" Blaine asks hesitantly, "Don't call me squirt in front of Sebastian. He will torture me."

Cooper's face lights up.

"No? What's wrong with Squirt? It's adorable."

"Just don't, okay."

"So the story of why I call you Squirt is out of the question as well then?"

"Cooper, I swear to God."

"How when you were two and you used to yell ' _SQUIRT'_ every time you went to the potty."

"Didn't you want something?" Blaine asks impatiently, hands crossing over his chest.

"Oh!" Cooper exclaims, having somehow forgotten entirely. Out of his bag his pulls out a thick wad of paper, handing it to Blaine and gaging his reaction as his flicks through it.

"A script?"

"I got an audition for the pilot of this new TV show!" he says excitedly.

"Oh my God! Cooper that's great!" Blaine says, rushing forward to hug him.

"It's nothing huge and, I mean, I probably won't even get it but I'm finally starting to get my foot in the door!" Cooper says, trying not to be too hopeful. Still, to be able to land a real role instead of just the odd commercial would be incredible.

"What are you talking about, of course you'll get it."

"We'll see," Cooper says with a bright smile, the very same he uses to win over directors. "Anyway, I need you to help me run lines."

"Of course!" Blaine agrees eagerly, opening the script to the page that has been bookmarked with a post-it note.

When Kurt returns home later that night, he finds the Anderson brothers in the midst of a dramatic break up complete with accusatory finger pointing and tearful apologies. He questions his own sanity for a moment or two until he spots the script in Blaine's hand and he smiles to himself, watching the rest of the scene play out before offering the boys a solo applause.

* * *

Kurt is usually a very controlled person. He likes to think that he has a handle on his emotions and rarely loses his temper. When there is something bothering him however, he cleans. He cleans _aggressively_.

When Cooper returns home from work to find the living room and kitchen spotless and Kurt hunched over the sink, scrubbing it as if he were trying to erode the entire thing away with his scouring pad, he knows that something is up. Before he can even say a word, Kurt is glaring at him like his very existence is making the place dirty again.

"Are you-"

"He asked if I was the maid," Kurt spits.

"Well, if the shoe fits..." Cooper mumbles, glancing about the spotless apartment and earning himself a somehow fiercer glare than the one that had previously been burning a hole through his skull.

"Never have I had the displeasure of meeting anyone as vile as that... _creature_ , your brother brought home with him today."

"Sebastian," Cooper groans, "I should have known." Kurt slaps the scour into the gleaming sink and folds his arms. "Where is he now?"

"They went out."

"Together? Where?" Cooper asks, trying not to sound too frantic.

"I don't know."

"You didn't ask? That sleazeball could have taken him anywhere Kurt! What if he gets hurt or-"

"Cooper," Kurt says in the tone of voice usually reserved for when Cooper is being unreasonable.

"I know, I know. He's not a little kid," Cooper says, deflating a little, "It's not Blaine I don't trust, it's _him_."

"He certainly is a piece of work," Kurt agrees, pulling the gloves from his hand and heading towards the living room, practically collapsing onto the sofa.

"He thought I was Blaine's _dad_ ," Cooper grumbles, following suit and perching on the arm of the sofa.

"Well if the shoe fits," Kurt replies mockingly, earning him a cushion to the face.

"So what are we going to do?" Cooper demands, once the joking subsides.

"Do?"

"I don't want that boy anywhere near my brother. He's scum and Blaine can do so much better than him. You're clearly of the same opinion. We need to break them up," he concludes.

"Are you out of your mind? Look, he might not be an angel but he's Blaine's first boyfriend, you can't screw this up for him." Kurt is vehement and Cooper can't understand why he's so opposed, he said himself that Sebastian was vile.

"Sebastian will hurt him, I'm doing him a favour in the long run, besides he needs to be focusing on applying for college right now not guys," Coop argues. He's not being overbearing, anyone with eyes can see that Sebastian is no good and he's right to not want him within a mile of Blaine.

"You think Blaine is gonna see it that way? Cooper if you do this, I promise you, Blaine will _never_ forgive you."

"But-" he starts, the anger dripping away from his voice, what Kurt said hits a chord. He's honestly not trying to hurt Blaine or be the know-it-all big brother. He wants to protect him, he wants to make sure that the likes of Sebastian never even get the chance to hurt him.

"I don't like him any more than you do, _trust me_ , but you have to let Blaine make his own mistakes," Kurt asserts and Cooper knows the argument is won. He crosses his arms and slumps into the couch, sulking. What if Blaine never recognises the mistake he's making? What if he stays with this guy forever and they get married and Cooper has to smile politely at his brother-in-law and make awkward conversation every Thanksgiving and Christmas for the rest of life? He shudders at the thought. But what can he do? He knows deep down that Kurt is right. As much as Sebastian makes his skin crawl, he's just going to have to put up with him for now.

* * *

Blaine buries his head into the stack of various college applications spread out before him, groaning audibly. He's spent every lunchtime for the past few weeks in the library researching and still hasn't even decided where he wants to apply for. It's now that he feels he should be beginning to panic, applications are due in less than a month for most colleges. He wants to stay in New York, over the last couple of years the city has become his home and nowhere else has that pull, drawing him away.

But - and there always seems to be a but, - he wants to get away, get out on his own. Cooper has been incredibly supportive and has done everything possible to make his apartment as much Blaine's home as his own but Blaine is itching to fly, to make his own way, and if he goes to college in New York then he won't get a chance to do that. He'll stay with Cooper for...for how long? Surely Cooper will be wanting his apartment back soon anyway. Sooner or later he's going to want to settle down, maybe have a family, and he can't do that if his kid brother is still sticking around. It's not the first time Blaine has felt like a burden to his brother but it is the first time Blaine has felt like he has a real opportunity to do something about it.

But where to go? He stares longingly at the NYADA application form, wondering if he'd even stand a chance at getting accepted there, before tucking it away it flicking through some prospectus guides for places a little further from home. He considers LA. He knows that Cooper was always set on going there before a sudden change of heart landed him in New York. Blaine isn't sure if he can picture himself there though. Ohio State is definitely out of the question, despite his mother's wishes that he apply there. She just wants him close to home, and although Blaine does miss her, he can't quite find it in him retreat back to Ohio. Not after everything he went through to get out.

"What's eating you?" Blaine starts at the sound of another voice, Sebastian pulls up a chair next to him “Besides me, hopefully.” He wraps a possessive arm around Blaine’s waist, leaning in close to get a better look at the mess before them on the desk.

"Can you believe that this time next year we'll be at college?" Blaine asks, the thought daunting him. Everything that happened at North Westerville High feels like a lifetime ago but at the same time, the last few years at Birchwood have flown by. "Do you know where you're applying to yet?"

Blaine has wanted to broach the subject for some time. He's more than aware that they'll most likely be going to different colleges and he can't exactly picture long distance working for them. Not without the amount of physical intimacy Sebastian seems to desire. He doesn't want to think of their relationship as having an expiration date but he can't help but feel like they’re hurtling towards a brick wall.

"I’ve already sent out my applications." he says as though the subject was a non-matter.

"Oh," Blaine responds, not expecting such a straightforward response. "Where for?"

"Yale, Princeton, UCLA -" he lists, voice dripping with smugness at the amount of Ivy League colleges in his choices. Blaine stops paying attention, looking instead at his pitiful choices so far.

"You've...pretty much got it all worked out then," he says, doing his best to keep the hurt out of his voice. Sebastian hasn't mentioned a word of this until now. His bags might as well be packed and yet he hasn't even bothered to discuss it with him. Blaine feels just a little worthless because where does that leave him? His boyfriend is ready to jet off to another state and he's still floundering.

"No need to sound so bitter about it," Sebastian remarks, his easy snark biting into his tone making Blaine wince internally.

"I'm-I'm sorry," Blaine says, almost meaning it, “I’m just stressed out.” He briefly considers bringing up what's really bothering him before thinking better of it. Of course their relationship comes second to their futures, Blaine just needs to figure out where exactly his future is going to be.

"Hmm, well you better finish up soon because I've always wanted a blow job in the library," Sebastian purrs, kissing softly at Blaine's neck. Blaine flushes bright red at the suggestion, wondering if this time Sebastian actually means it. He's been pressing and hinting for things to get more heated between them for a while and at first Blaine had just assumed that was his sense of humour, but lately the nagging seems only to be more persistent. Blaine isn't ready for sex, not by a long shot so he just smiles and shrugs away the comment like he always does, ignoring the frustrated groan from Sebastian's lips at his refusal and how it makes his skin prickle.  "God, why does the cutest guy in school have to be such a prude," Sebastian teases. At least, Blaine hopes his tone is teasing, he can never quiet tell.

"Actually the cutest guy in school would be you," Blaine deflects, nudging his boyfriend playfully but he doesn't get the reaction he hopes for. Sebastian grumbles, clearly in frustration, his scowl deep and penetrating. Blaine knows that he won't wait around forever for him to be ready but he refuses to force this. He's not going to sleep with Sebastian until he knows he's sure, he owes himself that much.

Sebastian doesn't stick around for much longer, not when he knows he isn't going to get what he wants. Blaine is halfway between thankful and disappointed when he leaves him in peace but the moment his attention is directed back to the daunting task of choosing his college options, his heart sinks like a stone.

* * *

"You're quiet," Cooper acknowledges later that night as Blaine pushes his food around on his plate. He looks up, meeting his brother's concerned eyes his mind races for an excuse. Caught on the spot as he is, he comes up with nothing. "Something happen between you and Sebastian?" Cooper asks cautiously and - Blaine wonders - hopeful?

"N-no..." he starts knowing instantly that Cooper isn't buying it. Kurt glances up as well and Blaine suddenly feels put on the spot, his cheeks burning under the scrutiny. He's not too keen to discuss his love life at the dinner table with his brother and former crush. "Well not exactly. It's just that...Sebastian's already sent out all of his college applications and I guess I'm just...a little stuck. I have no idea where I even want to go-"

"Well somewhere in New York surely," Cooper inserts. "That must narrow it down."

"Actually..." Cooper narrows his eyes as Blaine starts and he can't help but feel like he's made the wrong choice, despite having not made a choice at all yet. "I think it would be best if I moved away."

"Why?" Coopers question is sharp.

"I just think it's about time I let you have your apartment back, that's all," Blaine looks down at his barely touched food as Cooper's eyes bore into him.

He'll be sad to say goodbye, he'll miss living with Cooper, they've grown so much closer since Blaine moved in, and Kurt...well. Kurt. It makes Blaine's heart hurt to consider the fact that he most likely won't be seeing much of him if he moves halfway across the country. Sure, they're friends, Blaine considers him of the closest friends he's ever had but what reason would they have to stay in contact once Blaine moves away? The only reason they're close is because they live together, Blaine is positive of that, why else would Kurt waste his time being friends with a 17 year old? And once Blaine leaves? Their friendship will most likely wither away. As much as the thought makes Blaine's lungs feel as though they're filling up with tar, he's sure it will be for the best. He needs to squash whatever feelings still persistently remain because it's about time he moved on.

"I think I'm gonna do some homework in my room," Blaine says excusing himself. He has a lot to think about, his future, career goals, the fact that Sebastian is ready to drop him without looking back once the school year is over. Nobody ever told him growing up would require so many decisions. The thought of moving away to college terrifies him which is ridiculous considering he left home of his own accord at just fifteen. But this is different. He has no one to meet him on the other side, no big brother to catch him, he'll be all alone.

“Blaine?” Cooper calls from the other side of the curtain a moment later. Blaine scrambles for his homework that he was allegedly going to be working on.

"Come in," Blaine calls, opening his text book in an attempt to feign studying.

"Hey,” Cooper greets delicately. "Can we talk?"

"I'm kind of swamped with this, is it urgent?" Blaine deflects despite the words on the page being an indecipherable mess. Cooper takes a few steps over to Blaine's desk, peeking over his shoulder.

"You realise the book you're reading is upside down, right?" he comments. "Come on, don't bullshit me. This is important."

"Fine," Blaine relents, slamming the book shut with just a little more force than he intends.

"So college..." Cooper starts, taking a seat on Blaine's bed. "That's kinda scary."

"I know," Blaine admits with a sigh, shifting a little to face Cooper better, "I'm sort of freaking out about the whole thing."

"I meant it's scary for me, my kid brother's going to college. That makes me _old_."

Despite himself, Blaine bursts into a fit of undignified giggles at his brother's look of horror.

"You're such a self-centred ass, you know that?" he says, wiping a stray tear away.

"Look, Squirt," Cooper says, sobering himself, "college is important for you okay. I didn't go but I was never as smart or...or talented as you are. I want you to do what's best for you, okay? You have to promise me. Whether that's moving away or staying in New York, you know you can live here as long as you like, right? I'm not gonna kick you out. Ever." Blaine is surprised to see such earnestness on Cooper's face. He's never felt that close to his family, all those sitcoms on TV portraying dysfunctional yet ultimately happy families always felt like a fantasy to Blaine as a kid. He never really understood it but now he does. His brother loves him, unconditionally, it's what family are supposed to do. They'd never gotten the chance to be a real family before, Blaine being too young and Cooper moving away but since moving in with his brother, Blaine is finally able to know what it's like to have a loving family, however small it may currently be.

"Thanks, Coop," he says with a nod. "And I will, I promise."

* * *

Blaine finally has all his college applications ready to send off by the next week. He's applied for some places out of state but the majority of his options are in New York. It's where he sees himself and it's the only place he's ever truly called home. He has made the decision, however, to still move out and live in dorms no matter where he gets accepted. He'll be sad to leave and he's more than likely going to end up living in a shoebox of a room, even smaller than his current one and with a bonus added roommate to deal with, but he's sure it's for the best. College is about becoming an adult and Blaine doesn't want anybody holding his hand while he does it. He loves his brother and Kurt and if he's lucky enough to get accepted to NYU, maybe even NYADA he thinks wistfully, then he'll still be able to visit any time.

"NYADA?" Sebastian comments with something that sounds like amusement as he picks up one of the envelopes spread out on the coffee table that Kurt is helping him organise. "My baby's got high ambitions," he says with a smirk that Blaine struggles to interpret.

"You don't think I'll get in?"

"Of course he'll get accepted," Kurt says with a pointed glare towards Sebastian. It makes him feel warm inside that Kurt is supporting him this way despite the tensions that seem to quickly build in the room whenever Sebastian is there. "Blaine is the most talented person I know. They'd be fools to reject him."

"Thanks, Kurt," Blaine says, grinning shyly at the support.

"Didn’t you get rejected from NYADA back in the day?" Sebastian remarks. “I guess Blaine does have more of a shot than you did.”

"Hey!" Blaine says with a frown, nudging his boyfriend, "Don't be an asshole." Sebastian does nothing but shrug it off. Things have been like this lately and have steadily been getting worse, what had started as petty jabs turning into full blown vicious bites. It's no secret that Sebastian doesn't like Kurt. Blaine can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with his old crush. His old crush that has definitely been extinguished. Almost. Not that Sebastian should have any reason to be jealous anyway, it's just a stupid juvenile thing that he's practically over. End of story. Sebastian is his boyfriend and while he knows they won't stay together forever, he wants to spend the rest of his senior year experiencing the most important firsts with him before they both go away to college. He _wants_ to be ready for it all, he just doesn't know how long it will take.

Or how long Sebastian will wait.

* * *

In a way, Kurt almost misses the nights before Blaine came, when he'd have the entire apartment to himself, safe in the knowledge that Cooper was out and wouldn't stumble home until the early hours of the morning. That is, until he remembers just how lonely and alienating it could be. Still, the rare occasions that Kurt has these days in which the apartment is miraculously free, he savours. A night like tonight - where Cooper is at a call back for his new show and Blaine is out with Sebastian doing things that Kurt would rather not think about - is one he treasures.

It means no one is going to walk in on him Liam...Or was it Lewis?

Whatever his name, Kurt kisses him with fervour, hand tangling into his ash blond hair as they rut keenly on the sofa. His dry spell has been breaking records lately in sheer longevity. He's known the guy for all of three hours and Kurt has to admit that he doesn’t find him particularly attracted to him but, well, beggars can't be choosers. A guy has needs and Kurt hasn't had much opportunity for hook-ups lately. He just wants something fun, something brief. Someone he's content to let go of after a few hours of indulgence.

Lucas (Kurt suddenly remembers the name) moans into Kurt's neck, he can feel his hot breath seep into his skin.

"Maybe we should move this to the bedroom?" Kurt suggests with a slow grin. Lucas nods eagerly as Kurt pushes off him but before he can even extend a hand to aid Lucas up, Kurt feels the familiar vibrations of his phone ringing in his pocket. With a sigh of frustration, he pulls it out, ready to reject the call until he stops at the sight of Blaine's name.

"Just let it ring," Lucas says, voice breathy and impatient when Kurt hesitates for a moment too long. Something doesn't feel right and Kurt can't bring himself to reject Blaine now.

"I'll just be one sec," Kurt promises apologetically, accepting the call and bringing the phone to his ear. "Blaine?"

Blaine chokes out a sob on the other end of the line, sending Kurt immediately into panic mode.

"Blaine? Is everything okay? Talk to me, please?" he says frantically, running a hand through his hair.

"C-can you come get me?" Blaine begs brokenly.

"Where are you? Are you hurt?" Kurt's heart pounds, he's never heard Blaine like this before, at least not since he was stood in their living room two and a half years ago, begging Cooper to let him stay. It makes him just want to cradle him in his arms, hold him tight and assure him that everything will be okay. "Blaine?"

Blaine tells him the address, his voice cracking on almost every syllable and Kurt's heart sinks when he realises he's all the way out in Brooklyn. After assuring him that he'll be there as soon as he can, Kurt reluctantly hangs up the phone. Lucas stares at him questioningly, a look of betrayal on his face.

"You're leaving."

"I'm so sorry, it's my roommate, I...I don't know what's happened but he sounds pretty broken up."

"It's fine," Lucas says, standing, "Some other time then?"

Kurt glances at his expectant expression, feeling the doubt tinge his thoughts once more. "Uh, sure. I'll call you," he replies but he knows he won't be in a hurry to reschedule. What had earlier promised to be a night of loosening up, of finally getting some, just feels wrong and obscene to him now. This isn't who he is, it isn't what he wants. Kurt was once a hopeless romantic, a touch of the fingers was as sexy as it got for him. He once craved real love and commitment but he hasn't been in an actual relationship since Brandon broke up with him three years ago, instead indulging in nothing but meaningless hook-ups. Kurt shakes the thoughts away, his sorry excuse for a love life isn't what's important right now. Blaine needs him. "Look, I have to go...Sorry, again." Kurt says grabbing his keys from the bowl and ushering Lucas out the door before practically sprinting off.

Kurt takes the subway, fidgeting nervously the entire way. He dreads what he's going to find when he finally gets to Blaine but tries not to let his mind run wild. He contemplates calling Cooper but he knows he's at his call-back, there's nothing he'd be able to do and Kurt doesn't want to worry him when he doesn't even know what the situation is.

It's an eternity before the train pulls into Metropolitan Avenue. Once Kurt is above ground, he scans the streets trying to decide which direction he needs to go when his train of thought is interrupted.

"Kurt."

Blaine is leaning against one of the buildings just outside the subway exit, arms wrapped around himself and looking so small Kurt almost misses him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you all the way out here." Blaine's voice is calm, nothing at all like the voice Kurt heard over the phone.

"What happened?" Kurt demands, refusing to let it go. "Are you okay? And what on earth are you doing all the way out in Brooklyn? I thought you were at Sebastian’s place."

"I'm fine, I just don't have enough cash for the train and I lost my metro card," he says to the ground, purposefully ignoring Kurt's last question. His eyes are puffy and bloodshot from where he has obviously been crying.

"No. Something's wrong, Blaine. Tell me."

"I'm okay," Blaine defends, voice beginning to crack.

"You're not." As Kurt steps closer, bringing a hand to rest reassuringly on Blaine's arm, he loses it. Tears stream down his face of their own accord despite how much he's clearly trying to fight them away. "Hey, come here." Kurt pulls him into a hug and he clings to Kurt with a vice-like grip, as though the pavement has been taken right out from underneath him.

"I feel so stupid," Blaine sobs into Kurt's shoulder, eyes squeezed tight in an attempt to quell his tears. Kurt is at a loss, he rubs Blaine's back in what he hopes is a comforting gesture but the boy just whimpers brokenly in his arms. He can't quite figure out how the night ended up as this. Blaine had been his usual cheery self when he left with Sebastian earlier that night and...It's then that Kurt notices the absence of Blaine's boyfriend and the first piece of the puzzle slots into place.

"Where's Sebastian?" Kurt asks.

"Back at the bar," Blaine mumbles solemnly, allowing Kurt to instantly guess that he's the source of the problem right now.

"You went to a bar?" Blaine recoils slightly, pulling away from Kurt and recomposing himself a little.

"I didn't want to," Blaine defends, avoiding eye contact and gazing fixatedly at the sidewalk, "Sebastian really wanted to check out this gay bar and...he got me a fake I.D and it cost him, like, fifty bucks so I couldn't really say I didn't want to go after he'd paid all that money and..." he trails off.

"And?" Kurt prompts.

"Nothing, let's just...let's just go." Blaine tries to lead them both back down to the subway but Kurt reaches for his hand, stopping him short and forcing him to face him.

"Blaine, I want to know the whole story."

Blaine's face crumples as more tears threaten. He shakes his head, as though to shake away the remnants of that night but Kurt remains persistent, squeezing Blaine's hand slightly to let him know he's safe.

"He...he..." Blaine sighs, "you know how he is. He's been pressuring me for weeks to sleep with him and I wanted to wait until I was one hundred percent ready but...he's not exactly the world's most patient person. I think he was set on tonight being _the night_ and he was dancing really close to me and whispering all sorts of things in my ear but when I wouldn't put out he started getting mad and he said I was too uptight and then he stormed off. I couldn't find him anywhere and he wasn't answering his phone so I was about to head home but just before I left...I went to the bathroom and he's there with some, some _stranger_ ," Blaine babbles, in a rush to get the story out.

"Oh, Blaine."

"I just froze. And the worst part? He saw me. He saw me standing there and he just _winked_ at me with some other guy's head between his legs."

"God, what an asshole," Kurt spits, seething.

"And now I feel like the world's biggest dumbass for ever trusting him and..." Blaine loses himself as the tears spill over once more. Kurt can't help pulling him in once more, wrapping his arms around the boy and holding him close.

"You're not a dumbass, okay?" he whispers into Blaine's curls, "Sebastian is a good for nothing piece of slime and you can do so much better than him. He hurt you and that's not your fault."

"I know you and Coop never liked him," Blaine murmurs, "I should have trusted your instinct."

"No. It doesn't matter what I, or anybody else, says. Always trust your own instincts and follow your heart, okay?"

"But I was wrong about him and it just ended with me getting hurt," Blaine replies, pulling back and searching Kurt's eyes for answers.

"Sometimes we have to get hurt. It's how we grow."

Blaine sighs but says nothing. On a whim, Kurt reaches for his hand, "Come on," he says, "I’ll buy you dinner."

They take the train back to Manhattan. Kurt allows Blaine to sit in silence, rocking gently with the movements of the car until they reach their stop. Kurt chooses the restaurant without thinking and it isn't until they're walking through the door that he remembers. It's where Brandon took him on their first date. He hasn’t been here in years, the memory always stung a little too much. He doesn't say anything, why would he? Instead he informs Blaine that he's about to try possibly the greatest Jerk Chicken on the planet.

"Are you going to tell Cooper about tonight?" Blaine says as they head home later that night. The evening had turned out to be quite pleasant. Blaine managed to forget the disastrous way it had started out and Kurt was rather pleased with himself once he saw the familiar smile plastered on Blaine's face that has been absent for far too long. Now though, as they climb the stairs of their building, the sombre tone has returned.

"Do you not want me to?"                  

"I...I don't know."

"I won’t say anything," Kurt promises, "but I think you should talk to him about it."

"He'll be mad."

"Of course he won't. Just blame everything on Sebastian, he loves an excuse to hate that boy." Blaine smiles despite himself.

"So do I get to join the Sebastian hate club now?" he asks.

"I'll have your t-shirt and badge printed by Monday."

* * *

"Do neither of you understand the fundamental purpose of owning a cell phone?" Cooper scolds the moment Kurt steps through the door, Blaine in tow. "Where have you been?"

"We went out for dinner," Kurt says with a shrug. Cooper looks between the two, confusion colouring his features.

"Blaine, I thought you were going out with Sebastian tonight."

"Sebastian and I are a thing of the past," Blaine says somewhat proudly. All traces of his earlier upset now vanished. Cooper stares open mouthed at the comment, looking briefly towards Kurt for confirmation.

"Are you serious?"

"Uh...yeah?"

"You're not shitting me right now?"

"Why would I be?" Cooper tackles Blaine with a hug, squeezing the air out of his lungs and Kurt wouldn't at all be surprised to see his face begin to turn a cartoonish blue.

"I have been waiting for this moment for too long!" Cooper cries. "I have some Champagne saved for this very occasion."

"No you don- Oh my god he does," Blaine deadpans as Cooper releases him and heads for the fridge, returning an instant later with a bottle and three Champagne flutes. "What is wrong with you?" Blaine grumbles, dropping sulkily into a seat at the table. Kurt watches with warped amusement as Cooper pours three glasses, handing one each to him and Blaine.

"To Blaine, who I'm sure from now on will have better taste in men," Cooper starts.

"To Blaine!" Kurt joins in, happily.

"This is the most depressing toast I've ever taken part in," Blaine groans as Cooper clinks his glass jubilantly. "Stop celebrating my pain!" he demands with an attempt at seriousness but it quickly dissolves into a reluctant smile. Kurt knows he won't be hung up on Sebastian for long. The boy had a pretty face but that was all he had going for him. He's positive that Blaine can - and will - do so much better. “I can’t believe you actually saved a bottle of Champagne for this.”

“Okay, so I lied,” Cooper admits with his hands up, “I may have bought it on way home so we could toast to the new TV show I’m gonna be in, but this seemed a much better use for it.”

“Wait, what?” Blaine says, gazing up at his brother with wide eyes. “You got it? You actually got the part?” Cooper’s response is a smug grin and another clink of his glass against Blaine’s.

“Hey, Kurt,” he says, changing the subject entirely. “Have I ever told you story behind why I call Blaine ‘Squirt?’”

(The night continues somewhat dramatically with Kurt on the floor laughing until his stomach hurts and with Blaine vowing to never speak to his brother again no matter how famous he gets.)

 


	4. 2013 - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments! I appreciate every single one, you all rock! :)

"Okay, is that all of them?" Kurt says, mentally counting the boxes. He can't quite believe how much stuff Blaine has acquired in the three years of living with him and Cooper. But what Kurt finds even harder to digest is the fact that Blaine is actually moving out. How can the time have gone by so quickly?

It's dizzying how much Blaine has changed, far from the scared and lost boy who had arrived on his doorstep so long ago. Blaine is quickly becoming a man and Kurt is not blind to the changes. He's certainly filled out in the last few years, outgrowing his boyish figure and becoming something new entirely.

"Thanks for helping me move everything, Kurt," Blaine says gratefully, shifting one of the boxes aside to open up a window in the tiny space. "At least one of you kept your promise."

"Have you heard from Cooper? Has he landed yet?" Kurt asks, taking a seat at the desk. He takes in the tiny space, it's not unlike the dorm he stayed in his first year at NYU although he can't remember his room being _this_ tiny. It's barely big enough for one person and yet Blaine's roommate is due to turn up any minute now. Blaine looks at his watch before responding.

"His flight isn't due to land until 4 so I don't expect he'll call any time soon."

"Both of you leaving me in one day, It's like I've offended the pair of you or something," Kurt jokes. In all honesty he isn't exactly looking forward to going back to an empty apartment. With Blaine at college and Cooper away filming in LA for the next 8 weeks, Kurt's life is going to be significantly quieter for a while and he's not sure how he's going to deal with the change. Cooper had been on the verge of not going until Blaine practically forced him into the cab that morning, promising that he'll be fine and that he doesn't blame him for leaving, despite being slightly pissed that he couldn't help Blaine move out like he'd promised. Kurt's happy for him, it's what he's been working towards for the last 9 years, but countless auditions and the odd role here and there never got him far. This is by far the biggest part he's gotten and Kurt is overwhelmingly proud, but that doesn't mean he isn't going to miss his best friend for the next two months.

That paired with Blaine moving out leaves Kurt feeling uncomfortably hollow inside.

He helps Blaine unpack in comfortable silence. He can hear the traffic outside accompanied by the gentle breeze sighing through the trees. It wont be long before the cruel winter takes over the city, engulfing everything in a veil of silvery bitterness. Kurt isn't quite sure he's ready to say goodbye to the summer yet.

"I think that's everything," he says, stacking the last of Blaine's books and sheet music on the shelf. They've been careful to leave enough space for when the roommate arrives and have managed to just about fit Blaine's things in. Blaine flattens the last box and adds it to the neat stack.

"Looks like it..." Blaine says, sounding reluctant to finish. "Are you sure you're going to be okay on your own?" he asks, eyes colouring with worry.

"Blaine, I am a grown up, I'm sure I'll manage," he says fondly. He knows that if he so much as hinted at his reluctance to spend the next 2 months by himself then Blaine would be there in a heartbeat. But Blaine is so adamant that getting out on his own is the best thing for him and the last thing Kurt wants is to interfere with that, no matter how much he'll miss him. "I'll suppose I'll leave you to settle in. You'll call if you need anything at all, right?"

"Of course," Blaine nods somewhat sadly.

Kurt doesn't allow himself to linger and, after a quick hug, is closing the door behind him when he quite literally crashes into possibly the most gorgeous guy he's ever seen in his life. His hair is perfectly sculpted and oh so blonde while his face, (his face!), looks like it was plucked right out of a high end fashion magazine.

Kurt mumbles an awkward apology, trying not to stare, although he knows that those pants are Armani and he's almost drooling over those alone, but he forces himself to step out of the way and allow him to continue to his room. It takes just a few moments before he registers that the room he stepped into was the one Kurt just exited, meaning that this beautiful specimen is to be Blaine's new roommate.

He's not entirely sure what the feeling settling in his stomach is exactly but it stubbornly follows him all the way home.

* * *

Kurt lasts the best part of a week before he's itching to call Blaine. It's his first Saturday alone in the apartment and he's lonely, dammit. All he wants is a pick me up after the week he's had. The work has been piling up more than usual lately and Kurt has been spending more hours at his office than at home, not that home is a particularly comforting place anymore. It's quiet and cold and just...empty.

In the end he can't bring himself to do it. How pathetic is he that he has no other friends to call? The only people he's really allowed himself to get close to are Blaine and Cooper, when did he become so utterly dependant on them both? He has friends, he has plenty of friends, but many of them are barely out of the acquaintance stage and Kurt has a hard time really getting to know people. Cooper is the socialite of the two and Kurt would usually just go along with whatever circle of friends he has that week. But since Blaine moved in, Cooper's social life simmered a little too, and the three of them became a working unit. A family.

Without them here, Kurt just feels alone.

He settles in for a night of binge watching TV and wondering if it's worth opening the tub of ice cream he bought when he's suddenly startled by the sound of someone coming in through the front door.

Certain that he's about to get robbed and potentially murdered while in his lounge clothes, Kurt's head whips round fast enough to give him whiplash but the sight that meets him his just Blaine, no psychotic serial killers.

Well, maybe not _just_ Blaine, because Kurt finds that despite the lack of imminent danger, his heart won't quite calm itself.

"You scared me," he says in lieu of a greeting, ignoring the nagging feeling that has been clawing away in his chest all week.

"I like to make an entrance," Blaine says with a dazzling smile. 

"What are you doing here, is everything okay?" Kurt asks, reasoning that there must be a purpose for Blaine's impromptu visit and it might not be a pleasant one.

"Everything's fine," Blaine assures, making himself at home on the sofa next to Kurt. Kurt feels suddenly self-conscious that he's not properly dressed which is ridiculous considering Blaine has seen him looking far worse in the past. "It's just my roommate," he concludes.

Kurt's chest suddenly tightens with the same feeling that has been persistently plaguing him since Blaine moved out.

"Do you...not like each other or something?" Kurt asks, trying to keep his voice from sounding too hopeful, wondering why on earth he would sound hopeful in the first place.

"Oh, no, he's great, we have a lot in common and...honestly? He's drop dead gorgeous." Kurt's stomach sinks. "He's also very straight and, as I have unfortunately come to discover, has very, _very_ , loud sex."

"O-Oh! That's...unfortunate." Kurt can't think of anything else to respond with. He can't help but just be protective, after what happened with Sebastian last year it's no wonder he isn't thrilled with the idea of Blaine dating.

"Tell me about it. Things have been a little awkward since I apparently lost my filter and asked him out pretty much immediately after we met. Now I'm not sure if he's just proving a point or if I'm gonna have to endure his fornications for the rest of the year." Blaine visibly shudders at the thought but Kurt is still stuck on the fact that Blaine asked the guy out while the tightening in his chest worsens. What is wrong with him?

Blaine has always been bold with his feelings, it's what lead to that awkward conversation two years ago after that drunken kiss. Kurt hates himself for admitting it but now that that boldness and admiration is no longer bestowed upon him, it kinda stings.

Never has he felt so pathetic in his life.

Kurt tries to put the thought out of his mind. The two spend the evening alternating between catching up and watching TV. Conversation with Blaine is easy, maybe that's why Kurt has been missing having him around so much, there's only so much silence one person can take. Blaine fills the hollow space with laughter and smiles as Kurt realises just how important his friendship is to him. He can't help but smile fondly as Blaine rambles on about each class he's taking, the teachers he loves, the teachers he hates.

"Cassie July still teaches at NYADA?" Kurt asks, amazed after Blaine finishes telling him about how she made a girl in his dance class cry on the first day. "I thought for sure she'd have been fired by now. When I was in college there was a rumour going around that she was sleeping with a student, the gossip was so insane even students at NYU were talking about it!”

"How scandalous!" Blaine says with a mock gasp that Kurt can't help but smile at.

They talk for a while about Kurt’s college experiences and Kurt lets himself get lost in his reminiscing. His first three years in New York were some of the best of his life and he loves the feeling of having memories that aren't actually tinted with sadness like most of even the fondest of memories he has of high school. Unfortunately, the longer he talks, the more he realises just how much time as passed since he left. When Blaine first moved in, Kurt had only just finished his course in fashion design, now here he is, barely any further in life and Blaine is beginning to embark on his own journey. He can't help but feel just a little left behind, like he's running a marathon and everyone is overtaking him, leaving him in their dust.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asks, noticing the sudden change in Kurt's mood.

Kurt considers brushing it off, _wrong? Nothing’s wrong,_ but he can't seem to, not when Blaine is looking at him like that.

"I don't know, I guess it's just starting to hit home how much my life hasn't really gone anywhere. Cooper's in LA being Mr Hollywood, you're away at college and I'm still...stuck."

"That's not true," Blaine assures, shuffling a little closer.

"When I was your age I had all these dreams. I was going to be on Broadway or become a famous designer, find the love of my life, get married and live happily ever after." Kurt sighs, it's not until it all comes spilling out that it becomes obvious just how little he's accomplished. "I'm sorry, this is the last thing you probably want to hear right now."

"You can always talk to me, Kurt. You know that, right?" Kurt nods feebly, feeling somewhat exposed having suddenly put all of his anxieties out on the line like that. "And who's to say all those things won't happen? You're only 24, Kurt. You have your whole life ahead of you still to find the perfect career and-and a boyfriend and everything else."

"I may be 24 but I'm fast approaching 25, which means I'm only five years away from being thirty and I just...I always assumed I'd be married by thirty. And I always planned to have a solid career before I even considered marriage but now look at me. I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm still working at a telesales company hoping a big break will come my way soon and I haven’t been in a relationship in I don’t even _know_ how long. I've just stopped moving," Kurt finishes rambling, a little embarrassed at having let it all spill out.

"So start moving again. Get back on the path, get a new job."

"I can't just get a new job, it’s not quite as simple as that, Blaine," Kurt says fondly, admiring Blaine's optimistic, if naive, outlook. "I have rent to pay, New York isn't exactly cheap and I don't exactly have much experience-"

"Sometimes you have to take risks, go out on a limb. I know I would never have gotten here if I hadn't thrown caution to the wind and hopped on a train when I was 15. You're so talented, Kurt. I've seen the clothes you've made and they're phenomenal. There's no harm in compiling a portfolio, you never know what might happen." Kurt nods, realising that Blaine is right and wonders if he really has the courage to take the step that he's been neglecting all these years.

When Blaine leaves that night, Kurt ventures into his room and uncovers the mannequin that has stood untouched for the best part of the last year, dressed in the unfinished jacket that Kurt had almost forgotten about. He fingers the material, careful of the pins poking through, and remembers how it felt to work with it, to create with it. Without realising it, his passions had started slipping away into nothing.

After a brief rummage under his bed, Kurt retrieves his sewing machine and takes it, along with the jacket, out to the kitchen. The familiar whir of the machine spurs him on and by 4am, the jacket is finished. Kurt holds it up, inspecting the seams before trying it on. A perfect fit, of course.

He knows he has nothing to lose if he would just try.

* * *

Before long, Blaine makes it a habit of dropping by on the weekend and every time he does, Kurt's stomach does somersaults. He truly appreciates the company but in the nights when Blaine isn't there, Kurt works on assembling his portfolio and searching far and wide for job openings. Something Blaine said really inspired him, he can't just sit around and wait for his life to go somewhere. If he wants a change, he has to make it happen himself.

He starts to believe in himself again, he starts on a few new designs, encouraged by the newly finished jacket that hangs on the door handle to his closet. He spends what would otherwise be long, lonely hours at home designing, sewing, creating. He'd forgotten what it was like to have a purpose.

There are a few places hiring but Kurt hesitates, wondering if they may be just a tad ambitious. Kurt is confident with his sewing machine but the fact remains that he's woefully lacking in experience. Still, he knows that he has nothing to lose by applying and is only reasonably disheartened when he receives no response from anything.

That doesn't stop him from trying, to give up would be to accept that he's not good enough and that is something he refuses to do.

The sound of his sewing machine is now constant as Kurt experiments with new ideas, new patterns, different materials. Some are impressive, others end up with their seams picked apart or just thrown in the trash, despite how much Blaine says he loves them.

Kurt's working on something new when Blaine unexpectedly arrives. Kurt has no objections to his unannounced arrivals, it's always nice not to have to eat alone.

"Was there really any point moving out if you're just going to spend all your free time here?" Kurt asks jokingly.

"Don't act like you don't love having me here," he retorts, "That looks great by the way!" He drops his bag on the table before taking a seat opposite where Kurt is working at the kitchen table. Kurt takes his foot off the pedal to offer Blaine a thankful smile before returning his focus to the dress he had been tinkering with.

"Thanks, but I still don't know if it will sit right. I've never made women's clothes before." Kurt's been trying to branch out, expand his skills and try things he's not quite so confident doing, but there' only so much he can do in a day and his eyes are starting to grow tired. He finishes up the hem before calling it a day. "Do you want to stay for dinner? I was going to make a lasagne," he asks, tidying everything up while Blaine fiddles with a pin cushion.

"Why else do you think I'm here?" Blaine jokes, standing up to help Kurt clear the table. "I think I've missed your cooking more than anything since moving out. Seriously if this whole fashion career doesn't work out, you should try out for Masterchef or something."

"Getting my head bitten off by Gordon Ramsey isn't exactly high on my list of priorities," Kurt laughs, "but I'll keep it in mind." He knows Blaine is exaggerating but he appreciates the compliment nonetheless

Blaine happily helps Kurt prepare dinner. They dance around each other in the kitchen, Kurt prepares the sauce while Blaine browns the mincemeat and chops vegetables, they find themselves working in perfect harmony.

A song is playing on the radio that Kurt had forgotten to switch off after he'd finished sewing and Blaine quietly hums along. Without thinking Kurt starts singing too.

With both of their musical backgrounds, it doesn't take long for it to escalate into a full blown sing off. Kurt is half laughing half singing as they layer the lasagne together, sloppily spilling sauce all over the counter but he can't bring himself to care. Blaine makes over dramatic gestures, singing at Kurt and by the time the song ends, both of them are out of breath, slightly red in the face and laughing uncontrollably. They're facing each other and Blaine is stood just a fraction too close. Kurt's eyes instinctively drop to his lips, stretched wide with his grin, and his brain must malfunction temporarily because the urge to close the distance and press his lips against Blaine's is almost overpowering for a miniscule moment before he tears his eyes back to the mess of a lasagne they've constructed.

He attempts to break the tension with a nervous laugh and prays to God that Blaine thinks nothing of it.

"Not my best attempt," Kurt remarks. Sauce is dripping over the side of the dish and the layers have all mixed together inside. Blaine sprinkles some grated cheese over the top in a vain attempt to salvage it.

"Gordon doesn’t have to know about this one," Blaine comments and just like that the tension vanishes as Kurt dissolves into more giggles.

Kurt puts it in the oven and they hope for the best.

"So how's the job hunt going?" Blaine asks, as they both relax on the sofa while the lasagne cooks.

"Fruitless so far," Kurt says with a sigh, "I've had some interviews and...I don't know. I'm so excited to be putting myself out there, trying to get somewhere but...If I fail now then it will be because I'm not good enough, not because I just didn't try and that thought is kind of terrifying." Blaine merely shrugs.

"So keep working at it. You're only going to get better. Kurt, your designs are incredible, you know fashion like it’s your birth right. I know you can do this!" Kurt smiles weakly, not wanting to be a constant downer and decides to change the subject instead. Thankfully he rarely runs out of things to talk about with Blaine, it's amazing how much they actually have in common, whether that's the result of living together for so long or if they simply have compatible personalities, Kurt doesn't know.

They're interrupted twenty minutes later by the oven timer beeping persistently. As they both rise Kurt's phone also begins to ring.

"I'll take care of dinner, you get that," Blaine says, heading towards the kitchen. Kurt frowns at the unknown number, answering it with a tentative "Hello?"

The entire phone call is a blur to Kurt, his heart pounding in his throat. Blaine picks up only Kurt's one sided half of the conversation, "Yes this is he...Yes, I am...Yes...Of course!...Absolutely....Thank you!....Thank you so much!"

Kurt hangs up and sees that Blaine is waiting with baited breath, oven mitts still on while the lasagne cools on the counter.

"I just got offered a job!" he starts, not quite believing the words leaving his mouth, "At Vogue.com!"

"Kurt! Oh my God!" Blaine rushes towards him to envelope him in a hug so tight, Kurt is sure he's going to crush a rib but he doesn't care. He simply laughs and hugs him back as a few happy tears prick at the corner of his eyes. "I'm so unbelievably happy for you, Kurt! This is amazing!" Blaine says pulling back slightly, smiling that smile where his mouth is slightly parted and all his teeth are showing, the smile that Kurt loves the most.

"I mean it's only small, something in Sales, I’m not exactly going to be designing anything or making big executive decisions but-”

“Kurt!” Blaine interrupts, gripping hard onto Kurt’s arms as he realises just how fast he had been talking, the excitement ready to burst out of him. “It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s the first step! I’m so proud of you!”

And Blaine is right, it’s the first step that he had been so afraid to take for so long until he got the push he needed. Until Blaine gently told him he believed in him, until Kurt actually started to believe in himself. All of this is thanks to Blaine.

Maybe it’s the exhilaration of everything that stops his brain from making an interjection this time, maybe it's the fact that Blaine is so close and has been there for him every step of the way, maybe it's simply because he wants to, Kurt doesn't have the capacity to figure it out or even care. The moment he leans forward, he knows there's no going back. Kurt crashes his lips against Blaine's, hungrily kissing him, allowing everything that had been steadily building up inside his chest to come exploding out in a thunderous catharsis. He grips his face with both hands, vaguely aware of Blaine kissing back gently, exploring, testing, wondering how he'd ever survived without this.

But reality comes avalanching down upon him like a sudden freezing cold downpour. Kurt pulls back electrocuted, a small gasp escaping his lips as he does so.

This is Cooper's little brother.

He'd somehow forgotten that.

"I-I'm so sorry," he stutters breathily as Blaine looks searchingly into Kurt's eyes. "I don't know why I did that." Blaine seems surprisingly calm about everything, his lips are damp and slightly parted, a startling reminder of what Kurt had just done.

"It's okay," Blaine assures, voice small and tinted with shock but otherwise steady.

They're still so, so close, Blaine's hands still gently gripping Kurt's arms and Kurt can feel Blaine's stuttering breath on his cheek. Neither of them are making any motions to disentangle themselves. Everything seems to have just stopped for a moment. Kurt's heart pounds, he wonders if Blaine can actually hear it thumping against his ribcage.

He loses his mind and leans in again.

They kiss softer this time, more patiently. It gives Kurt time to really appreciate it, to understand that this doesn't feel as wrong as he thought it would. Blaine is one of his closest friends, his biggest supporter, nothing else seems to matter besides that. Blaine whines softly, sucking gently on Kurt's lip, as he lets one hand trail around to Kurt's back, pulling him ever so slightly closer. He can't help but remember when Blaine drunkenly kissed him two years ago, can't quite believe how much has changed in such a short time, how different they both are. Last time Blaine had had to stand on his tip toes just to meet Kurt's mouth, now they're on more even footing, now Kurt knows that there's more behind their kiss than just an innocent childhood crush.

He knows, realises that he has always known, that Blaine's crush never did fade away completely. And he's somehow okay with that.

But the tender moment is shattered by the sound of Blaine's phone erupting to life.

"It's Cooper," he says, checking the caller ID. "I'll just-"

"No, answer it," Kurt says as Blaine's thumb hovers over the reject call button. "You know how he worries." Cooper calls Blaine at the same time every night to check in, and Kurt knows from past experience that if Blaine doesn't answer then he'll call Kurt right after in a barely disguised panic.

Blaine reluctantly takes the call and Kurt just stands, not quite sure what to do with himself. Everything is now monumentally different.

"Hey, Coop," Blaine answers. Kurt can tell how he's trying to keep his voice steady, trying not to give away what they'd just been doing. "Yeah, just hanging out with Kurt...Coop says hi," Blaine says, directing his attention back to Kurt with a small smile. Kurt's stomach sinks a little. No, no this is all wrong. He can't help but feel like he's betraying Cooper's trust by making out with his little brother while he's away. It's not right. A dark unsettled feeling takes up residence in Kurt's stomach as Blaine finishes up the phone call and all Kurt can think about is the fact that he shouldn't be doing this.

There's a stretched silence after Blaine hangs up. Kurt can tell that he's a little lost too. Neither of them quite knowing how to handle the situation. Blaine seems oblivious to Kurt's internal panic however as he makes a bold step toward Kurt, sending him immediately into panic mode.

"Lasagne!" Kurt exclaims in a sudden outburst before Blaine can get much closer. "It's...dinner will get cold. We should..."

"Oh," Blaine says, suddenly remembering, "yeah, sure." He's nervous as well, Kurt can tell. Only an imbecile wouldn't be able to detect the thickening tension in the room.

Kurt plates up the food as Blaine takes a seat at the table, fidgeting slightly. There's a slight grin on his lips, the corners upturned a fraction in thinly veiled excitement. It's clear that Blaine is nervous for an entirely different set of reasons to Kurt.

He feels wretched. He's already broken Blaine's heart once, and now he's going to have to do it all over again. The only difference is that this time, he'll be shattering his own heart in two as well.

"Is everything okay?" Blaine wonders, as Kurt sets both of their plates down and attempts to eat. "You just seem a little...tense." Kurt hesitates, knowing that there's no avoiding the matter.

"Blaine, that was...Earlier, that was a mistake. We shouldn't have... _I_ shouldn't have..." Kurt trails off, not missing the way Blaine's face falls as he understands what Kurt is getting at despite his sudden inability to form a sentence.

"Oh."

"Blaine, I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you," Kurt says pleadingly, suddenly realising that this isn't just about extinguishing the beginnings of any kind of romantic connection, but that it could also jeopardise their friendship irreparably.

"It's...It's okay," Blaine replies after a deep sigh. He's yet to take a bite of his food, instead just poking at it with his fork and refusing to meet Kurt's eyes. "I just..."

"Blaine?" He finally looks up and Kurt can see the hurt there, the pain and it kills him that he put it there.

"Look, Kurt, you know how I feel...about you. That's sort of always been a given between us, but I've always known that you don't feel the same way. Honestly, it’s okay. If you don't like me in that way, it's fine, you can't exactly force yourself to like someone. I know you're not totally comfortable with the age difference, I understand." Blaine explains. Kurt knows that he's hurting, wants to do anything to take away the pain.

"It's not that," he admits, "I'm just worried about what Cooper will think and -" Blaine freezes, looks up at Kurt once again with a frown.

"Wait, this is about Cooper?"

"I just don't think he'll be very receptive to the idea, and I don't want him to think I'm taking advantage of you or anything."

"Kurt, since when does Cooper get a say in anything between us?" Blaine demands, there's anger behind his eyes now, mixed in with the cocktail of frustration, hurt, love. "Do you...is this something you want? Me and you? Because Kurt, if it is, I don't give a _damn_ what Cooper thinks." There’s a flicker of hope in Blaine's eyes and Kurt just doesn't know what to do with it. It would be all too easy to give in to it, to dive in head first and see if it's actually possible for them to find something special together. 

"He's one of my closest friends," Kurt argues instead. "I'd feel like I was betraying him."

"By being happy? By making _me_ happy?"

"Blaine you can't pretend that he'll just be okay with us..." he can't bring himself to voice it, to voice what they would be.

"So you'd rather not even try?" Blaine whispers, sounding utterly lost.

"Blaine-"

"No, I...I think I'm just gonna go back to my dorm, okay?"

"Blaine!" Kurt tries to get him to stay but finds he has no words to do so and just lets him go, his food barely touched.

* * *

Kurt decides to not antagonise the situation any more. He allows Blaine some space, gives him some time to cool down. He misses him, misses is impromptu visits, but he knows there's nothing much he can do to make up for breaking his heart for the second time.

He wishes more than anything that it didn't have to be as complicated as it is. In the time they've spent apart, Kurt has come to understand that, were the circumstances different, he would want nothing more than to be with Blaine. Sure, the age difference had put him off initially, but that was years ago. Blaine has grown, matured since then. Kurt truly considers him one of the most important people in his life aside from his father. 

But he knows they just can't. Cooper is equally as important to him. They've been best friends for almost six years and Kurt knows he wouldn't take it lightly. He's always treated Kurt like Blaine's second guardian, Cooper trusts him and he doesn't want to betray that trust. Remaining just friends with Blaine is for the best and he knows that.

Without Blaine around to offer his support, Kurt can’t help but dissolve into a bundle of nerves as his first day at Vogue approaches. It's true he has Blaine to thank for getting him there, and he hates the fact that he's mad at him. But who can blame him?

Kurt goes through at least seven different outfits before he decides on one. He wants to look professional for his first day, but not like he's trying too hard or like he's a suck up. He sighs, knowing that if Blaine were there, he'd tell him he's overthinking it and that he looks fine.

He checks the time on his phone, wondering if he still has time to grab a quick breakfast when he sees a text from Blaine. It's the first time they've had any contact in two weeks and he's pretty sure his heart skips a beat or two.

**_Good luck today x_ **

Kurt ends up skipping breakfast and instead spends the next ten minutes forming a reply.

* * *

Kurt's first day goes swimmingly, he sucks up to his boss just the right amount and he's fairly sure she's taken a liking to him. He gets given more than enough tasks to do and Kurt works consistently throughout the whole day to meet deadlines and impress anyone who might have had doubts about the newbie. It's not exactly where he wants to be, but it's a stepping stone in the right direction for once. He has connections now, he's has a way to progress.

Kurt takes the subway home with a slight bounce in his step, finding himself looking forward to going to work again the next day, a feeling that is utterly alien to him. He wonders if his day could possibly get any better when his phone dings with a new message and he realises that yes, it actually can. It's another text from Blaine, asking how it went and Kurt can't stop himself from gushing.

Just like that, Kurt finds that he has his best friend back. He feels like he can breathe again for the first time in weeks, knowing now that everything is going to be okay.

Their contact is limited to texting until over a week later when Blaine finally admits to missing him. Kurt returns the sentiment and Blaine suggests dinner as a belated celebration of Kurt's first day. Kurt is more than happy to accept.

Standing outside the restaurant waiting for Blaine, Kurt finds that he's actually nervous. His heart pounds frantically as he searches the street for his friend and when Blaine finally turns the corner, it stops completely.

Blaine smiles wide and bright after spotting Kurt and immediately goes in for a hug.

"Hey," he greets, voice barely above a whisper. Kurt can feel his hot breath tease against his ear and suddenly he finds that his entire body is hot.

They pull apart somewhat awkwardly. Kurt finds that he's not quite sure what to say, where to start. Thankfully, Blaine doesn't seem to have such a problem.

"I wanted to apologise," he says, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck, "Whatever your reason, if you're not comfortable with us - being together like that - then I have no right to push you or make you feel guilty about it. I'm really sorry for shutting you out like that. I just want you to know that, more than anything, your friendship is what means the most to me."

"No, Blaine, I should apologise. I didn't mean to lead you on I just...I don't know. I don't know why I kissed you, I don't why I kissed you _again_. This is all very confusing to me." He laughs nervously, trying to figure out what it is exactly that he's trying to say. "You're right though. And I feel the same way, I value our friendship way too much to screw it up, so...we're still friends?"

Blaine smiles softly but there's a hint of sadness behind his wide eyes. Kurt can see how hard he's trying to be okay with everything, to be okay with knowing that nothing more can happen between them.

"We're still friends," he assures with a nod before clearing his throat. "Shall we go inside?"

Kurt gladly lets him lead the way. They'd been to this restaurant a number times after Kurt had introduced Blaine to their legendary Jerk Chicken. It's nothing out of the ordinary but to Kurt, everything feels suddenly different now.

He's looking at Blaine in a whole new way and it kind of scares him. Blaine pulls out Kurt's chair for him, again nothing unusual, he's always been chivalrous by nature, but Kurt's heart flutters as he takes a seat. It's then that his imagination starts to run wild. This could all too easily be a date.

But when Kurt orders a glass of wine and Blaine just has lemonade, he's reminded yet again just how young he is. Sure, he's mature for his age, and he's done a lot of growing up in the last few years but he's just barely out of high school.

Of course this would all be inconsequential in the future. When Kurt's 30, Blaine will be 24, hardly a difference, but the moment his conscience wanders to them being together in 5 years’ time he starts to panic. Not because it's so outrageous but because the thought actually warms his heart.

He can see a future with Blaine and maybe that's what scares him more than anything.

He doesn't let Blaine in on any of his internal crisis. Convinces himself that it's nothing more than a silly fantasy born of loneliness. Tries to assure himself that the perfect guy for him is just right around the corner and that sometime soon he'll find his soulmate.

Meanwhile Blaine seems to be doing everything to keep the conversation from lagging. He asks Kurt about his new job and Kurt is grateful to be distracted for at least a little while as he discusses all the details that he wasn't able to convey via their text conversations that week. It's simple, easy. Spending time with Blaine has always been just that.

But Kurt's heart is still mixed up, at war with his better judgement for the best part of the night until he makes an irrational decision and invites Blaine back to his apartment after dinner.

"Kurt..." Blaine starts as they arrive back. Kurt places his keys in the bowl, tries to keep his hands from shaking as he wonders what on earth he's doing, if he's about to make the most monumental mistake of his life. What had started as a speck of a fantasy now snowballing into a real possibility and he's not quite sure how to stop it or if he even wants to. "Are you alright? You've been on edge all night."

Kurt wrings his hands together until Blaine closes the door and something about being alone, locked in the privacy of his own home sets him at ease just slightly.

"Blaine I...I need to tell you something and I have no idea if I'm doing the right thing here because I am so confused and-and kind of freaking out right now."

"Kurt?" Blaine takes a step forward, placing a concerned hand on Kurt's arm to stop him from pacing.

"I was wrong. If I throw this away I know I'll regret it."

"What are you saying?"

"Kiss me?" He doesn't mean for it to come out as a question. Blaine's eyebrows shoot to his hairline as he attempts to stutter out a response. For a second Kurt thinks he's gotten it wrong, thinks he's already missed his shot and that he's just ruined everything before Blaine surges forward and suddenly he's utterly engulfed. Blaine is kissing him and for the first time it doesn't feel anything except perfect in every way.

Kurt staggers backwards slightly under the shock and the pressure behind Blaine's kiss before he finds his footing and steadies himself enough to kiss back. He knows now that this is what he needs. He'd been pushing his feelings away, disguising them as something else but now it all seems so clear.

Blaine’s hand cups Kurt's cheek gently, a stark contrast to the way his lips are currently bruising Kurt's.

"What happened to us just being friends?" Blaine asks, panting after pulling back an inch and leaning his forehead against Kurt's.

"Screw that," Kurt says before diving back in. He kisses like he can't get enough, pushing Blaine back up against the closed front door and starts to explore, to push boundaries.

His tongue is first, dipping hotly into Blaine's mouth and Blaine is all too receptive, whining as Kurt tastes him. Blaine's hands drop to Kurt's waist, gripping on for dear life while Kurt explores the expanse of Blaine's chest, so much broader than he imagined but still relatively narrow compared to his own body. While Kurt explores, Blaine in turn ventures slowly downwards, fingers grazing Kurt's ass hesitantly before boldly pulling him impossibly closer, hands squeezing and kneading and making Kurt heart race at how rapidly everything is happening.

* * *

Blaine can't breathe.

This is real and Kurt is kissing him and he says he wants to be more than friends.

After spending the last three weeks beating himself up over getting his hopes up all over again, he feels like he could cry but instead he just kisses and kisses and kisses. Kurt's tongue licks the inside of his mouth, with closed eyes Blaine lets himself be explored. Curious hands grip at Kurt's ass and Blaine wants nothing but more.

This is nothing like how he felt with Sebastian because Kurt is everything that Sebastian is not. Kurt is gentle and caring and Blaine can tell that he's not just focused on making this pleasurable for himself if the way that he can feel himself growing hard is any indication. Kurt knows what he's doing and Blaine could easily surrender like putty in his hands at any moment.

But he's still so afraid of losing this, of everything he's ever wanted being snatched away from him so cruelly yet again. He holds Kurt tight, pulls him closer, ready to never let him go.

Once Kurt is seemingly satisfied with Blaine's mouth, his lips make a trail down to his neck, and that is something different entirely. Blaine _groans_ , head falling back and hitting the door with slightly more force than intended but there's no way he can care while Kurt is sucking at his neck.

It's simultaneously too much and not enough. He needs more, he wants everything but he also needs a moment to gather his head, to process everything.

"K-Kurt," he whimpers, "I want..."

"What?" Kurt asks breathlessly, alternating between sucking and kissing at Blaine's neck.

"You." he finishes. Kurt pulls away, staring into Blaine's eyes searchingly, understanding his meaning crystal clear. He looks uncertain, and for a moment Blaine is sure that his fantasy is about to come to a crashing halt.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

Blaine crashes his lips against Kurt's in response, wanting to laugh at the fact that Kurt could ever doubt that Blaine wants this.

"I just...don't know if....we should move...this quickly" Kurt says in between kisses.

"Would you rather we waited." Blaine asks, pulling away and attempting to sober himself. He's been waiting three years for this moment, he can handle waiting just a little while longer if he must. Thankfully, it doesn't come to that when Kurt replies with a decisive "God no" before grabbing Blaine's hand and leading him towards the bedroom.

It's not until the door is shut behind them that Blaine realises that this is real, that this isn't a dream. It's awkward at first, the rush of adrenaline from earlier dissipating slightly until Kurt takes a step forward and Blaine suddenly remembers his confidence. He cups Kurt's cheek, lips breaking into a smile at the fact that he can do this. Kurt blushes slightly as Blaine leans in once again, kissing him slower this time, taking his time and enjoying every second. His heart hammers as Kurt slowly slides his hands up Blaine's chest to his collar, loosening his bow tie and popping the buttons one by one. Kurt doesn't break eye contact all the while, and Blaine can feel his palms sweating.

Blaine's shirt hangs open, revealing a wide strip of bare skin. Kurt takes a small step back and gazes admiringly and Blaine feels suddenly exposed but he doesn't feel uncomfortable in the slightest. He wants Kurt to look, wants him to like what he sees, the very thought exhilarates him. Gently, Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and steps back towards the bed, Blaine follows eagerly. Kurt situates himself gracefully on the bed and Blaine shuffles after him, a nervous wreck.

"You're going to have to take charge here," Blaine admits nervously, "I sort of have no idea what I'm doing." Kurt looks at him curiously before understanding dawns on his face, eyes wide and mouth dropping open.

"Shit," he exclaims frowning, "You're a virgin." It's not the reply Blaine was expecting, to say the least.

"Wow, you really know how to kill a mood," he mumbles, somewhat mortified as he sits back on his heels.

"No," Kurt says, reaching forward and grabbing Blaine's hand, "No, I didn't mean in it a bad way it's just..." he sighs, trying to find the right words, "well, your first time has to be special and - "

"Kurt, I'm not looking for candles and roses, if it's with you then it _will_ be special," Kurt searches Blaine's eyes for any seed of doubt but Blaine knows that this is what he wants. What he's wanted for so long. What he's dreamed about in the dead of night when he has only himself for company and succumbs to his most primal urges. Kurt kisses him then, long and slow, hand gripping Blaine's open shirt before lying back and pulling Blaine on top of him. His heart races once they're lying down, and he focuses on breathing steadily through his nose as they kiss. He's so overwhelmed by it all, Kurt's mouth on his, sucking, tasting, exploring. Their bodies are so close. Kurt has one had trapped between them both, still grasping Blaine's shirt, as though keeping him close while the other rests possessively on his ass. Blaine can feel himself growing hard with every soft whimpering breath and Kurt's knee adjusts slightly beneath him, suddenly pressing very prominently against his dick and Blaine can't help but groan into Kurt's mouth. Kurt pushes at Blaine's chest slightly and for a second Blaine thinks something is wrong but Kurt only grins slyly and slides Blaine's shirt off his shoulders.

Blaine shakes his arms out of the sleeves and tosses the shirt in an undetermined direction as Kurt's hands go directly to his belt. Blaine steadies himself on Kurt, adjusting himself to the fact that he's currently shirtless and _Kurt's_ hands are all over him. He grips tightly to Kurt's shoulder as he leans in and sucks at the smooth skin on his neck while Kurt fumbles with his belt buckle.

"Tell me if at any point any of this is not okay," Kurt says, his voice gentle and caring. Blaine makes a noise of approval, unwilling to part with Kurt's neck. Suddenly a hand is gripping and pressing against his dick and Blaine is sure he sees stars. Kurt knows what he's doing, Blaine can tell from the flick of his wrist. It feels so good. _So_ good. And the fact that it's Kurt making him feel this good is enough to make Blaine wonder if this is even real at all. He whines softly against Kurt's neck, hips moving in rhythm with Kurt's hand. They move together as Blaine can feel everything all at once. It's all too much, yet he can't seem to get enough at the same time. He just needs Kurt. Needs more. Needs everything.

When he reaches his climax, his entire vision goes white.

* * *

As Blaine awakes the next morning, the first thing he realises is that he's not in his dorm. For one thing, he doesn't feel nearly as claustrophobic, but, most overwhelming is the undeniable smell of _Kurt_ engulfing him. It's in the pillows, the sheets, probably in the goddamn curtains. It's like a warm embrace and Blaine can't get enough of it. He can't help but let the smile spread and he's pretty certain it's going to be staining his lips for the rest of the day, for the rest of the year most likely, but when he turns and finds the other side of the bed gapingly empty, Blaine's entire body goes numb. 

Kurt isn't here.

He rolls onto his back, groaning slightly. He should have known that Kurt would once again change his mind, he knew that it was too good to be true. He just wished he wasn't stupid enough to believe that his heart wouldn't get broken this time. Blaine shields his eyes from the intruding light escaping through the blind, suddenly intrusive and not the least bit comforting. He's dreading the encounter that's bound to happen sooner or later. He feels nothing short of worthless and all he wants is to curl under the covers and never see the light of day again as long as he lives.

As the thickening silence in the bedroom settles around him, he realises that there are faint sounds coming from the kitchen and Blaine wonders if Kurt is stress-cleaning again, preparing to break the news to Blaine and shatter his heart in the process.

He knows he'll have to get it over with sooner or later and Blaine decides it would be best to go out and deal with it now, like ripping off a band aid.

He taps quietly from the bedroom to the living room. He can see Kurt in the kitchen from here and finds that he isn't cleaning but instead cooking. Kurt turns to grab a plate from the table behind him and in that moment spots Blaine, standing sheepishly.

"Morning," he says brightly "what are you just standing there for?"

"I'm waiting for the speech," Blaine says, void of any emotion. He folds his arms defensively, as though physically shielding his heart as he glares at the carpet.

"What speech?" Kurt asks, sounding somewhat amused. Blaine just wants to get it over with so he can go home and bask in his shame alone.

"The 'I'm sorry but last night was a huge mistake' speech," he says finally finding the courage to look Kurt in the eye. He expects to see regret but instead only sees fondness.

Kurt grins, turning back to the stove.

"Well your pancakes are gonna get cold because you're going to be waiting there a while," he says over his shoulder.

"Wait," Blaine starts, taking a tentative step forward. "What are you saying?"

"They're blueberry!" is all Kurt responds with before Blaine takes a few rushed steps forward. Kurt turns back to him again and, before Blaine can say another word, kisses him firmly on the lips.

When they part, Blaine finds that he's lost the power of speech entirely. His heart pounds. Last night happened. Kurt is still here. Kurt still wants him. This is _real_.

He wraps his arms around Kurt tightly, trying to say everything he's suddenly incapable of voicing. What it is exactly, he's not sure. _Thank you? I'm an idiot? I think I love you?_

All he knows is that he's never been this happy before.

And that the pancakes smell delicious.


	5. 2013 - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo so I'm somewhat late in posting this, it's still wednesday somewhere in the world though. still, my apologies!

 

Blaine is happy.

It's really the only word to describe exactly how he feels. He's happy. It's a simple, uncomplicated word for a simple, uncomplicated feeling. There's no need for excessive superlatives or complex allegories, he's just happy. His life his exactly where he wants it to be and he's never felt so content before.

"You have that weird, goofy look on your face again," Kurt says. Blaine's smile only broadens as he stretches his arms above his head, fingers grazing against Kurt's headboard as he sinks deeper into the pillows.

"So?"

"If you're going to get like this every time we have sex then we may have to rethink this whole dating thing."

"I can't help it," Blaine admits, eyes closed in pure bliss, "you just make me happy!"

"Sap," Kurt says playfully before draping an arm across Blaine's torso and kissing his cheek. It's like everything has fallen into place in his life and Blaine can't imagine being any happier than he is right now. He's amazed at how easily they fit together, at how simple it had been to go from friends to more than that once they were both brave enough to make the leap. It's been just over a month since they'd crossed that threshold. Since then Blaine has treated every day since like it’s a gift, revelling in the way that he's able to wake up blissfully to Kurt's smile, knowing that's it's reserved only for him. He gets to kiss Kurt now, every day as often as he likes, he gets to hold his hand in public and send him cute texts whenever he sees something that he knows will make Kurt's eyes light up with excitement. Blaine finally has somebody he can bestow the mountains of love he has inside of him upon and it's definitely a change to have the same amount of love and care offered back to him in the same way, something he never felt with Sebastian. He gets to be someone's boyfriend. But not just anybody's; he gets to be _Kurt's_ and it's everything he ever imagined it would be.

Kurt's right, maybe he is a sap.

"So what's today's plan?" Blaine says through a yawn, stretching his toes under the covers to try and awake enough will power to get himself out of bed but the fact that it's the middle of the week and he's still in bed is making him feel particularly lazy

During their first week of being together Blaine had not returned to his dorm once, it's a surprise his roommate hadn't filed a missing person's report. During their second week of being together Kurt had insisted that Blaine return to his cramped cubicle of a living space for two reasons. 1) Neither of them were getting any work done and 2) his parents _were_ paying for it after all. So, reluctantly, Blaine had spent a miserable week doing what can only be described as _pining_ for Kurt. His roommate had called him out on being pathetic but Blaine was too elated to care. Eventually they'd come to the decision that Blaine would spend every weekend at Kurt's from Friday to Monday. It was a balance that worked and it didn’t take long to develop a healthy routine. 

This week however, the routine is disrupted and Blaine has been staying at Kurt's apartment since Friday. Since Cooper won't be home for thanksgiving this year, Kurt had made arrangements with his family and, for the first time, decided to stay in New York, promising his father repeatedly that he would definitely make it home for Christmas. Since he'd already had the whole week booked off work so he could fly home, Blaine refused to leave. He's beyond giddy despite feeling somewhat guilty about keeping Kurt in New York since he knows he hasn't seen his father since last Christmas. The two speak on the phone almost every night, it's obvious that they are close and Blaine feels like he is somehow standing in between them. Even so, he knows there is no changing Kurt's mind once he has it made up and he _is_ grateful not to have to spend Thanksgiving alone.

"It's Tuesday, don't you have class today?" Kurt asks sleepily, disguising a yawn behind his hand. Blaine shrugs.

"Technically, yes. Realistically, no."

"Blaine!" Kurt scolds, shoving him gently, "You can't just skip class!"

"But it's Thanksgiving!" he argues with a whine, "And I want to spend this week with you." He guesses that he wins Kurt over since he can feel him smiling into the kiss he plants firmly on his mouth.

"Your brother would kill me if he knew I was letting you get away with this."

"Okay," Blaine says pulling away to Kurt's dismay, "We need to establish a new rule that you are not allowed to mention Cooper when we're in bed," he says sternly. Kurt laughs out loud and the sound is music to Blaine. Everything with Kurt is just so easy and light hearted and _good._ The best thing that's happened to him, in fact.

"Deal," Kurt agrees. "And if you're playing hooky then you can come grocery shopping with me today," Kurt suggests sleepily. "Money to spend, turkeys to buy."

Blaine chuckles softly, Kurt has been saying he needs to go grocery shopping since Saturday but, as already established, neither of them seem to get anything done when they're together now. In all honesty he can’t wait to spend Thanksgiving with Kurt. In all the years of knowing him, they've never spent any of the holidays together, unless you count Halloween. Which Blaine doesn’t. He knows that they don't need a whole turkey for just the two of them but Kurt seems to be on the same page as him that this thanksgiving is going to be special and there's an unspoken agreement between them both that they're going to go all out.

Blaine glances at the clock on Kurt's bedside table, noting that it's already close to noon. He wouldn't make it in time to get to class anyway since it's already half over. They've spent the whole morning in bed together, learning each other’s bodies and trading lazy kisses and as wonderful as that has been they really should get up soon.

The problem is he really, _really_ doesn't want to.

"I don't wanna get up either," Kurt says as though reading his thoughts and presses a lingering kiss to Blaine's lips.

"Then let’s stay here forever. Everything else is cancelled," Blaine declares, pulling the duvet snugly over his shoulders and nestling into the pillow. Kurt laughs as Blaine burrows himself further into the nest of bedding and clings to Kurt like his life depends on it.

"As appealing as that does sound, we really should leave soon. I don't want to have to fight an old lady over the last turkey. It's happened before and it's ugly, you don't want to witness something like that." 

"You know I'd be right there cheering you on," Blaine says while Kurt attempts to extricate himself from Blaine's arms. "Fine," he groans, relinquishing his grasp around Kurt's waist and rolling onto his back, "just give me a minute."

"I'll put some coffee on." Kurt leans over the bed to fondly peck Blaine on the lips before wrapping himself in his robe and leaving. Blaine sighs contentedly, watching him go and wondering how on earth he managed to get so lucky.

* * *

"Oh, you _are_ home."

Kurt freezes in his tracks on his way to the kitchen because standing there already with a mug of steaming coffee is Cooper.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt demands, attempting and failing to keep the panic out of his voice. He and Blaine have yet to discuss the recent development in their relationship with Cooper and he's all too aware of Cooper's little brother lying naked in his bed right now.

"I still pay half the rent on this place. And it's good to see you too, asshole," Cooper replies with no real malice. "I managed to sweet talk the producers into giving me an extra couple days off so I could fly home and see my best friend and little brother, is that so bad?"

It's too much to process. Cooper is here. There's so much that Kurt needs to carefully explain. Cooper is _here_ and everything could fall apart in a second.

"Anyway how are you not even dressed yet? It's 12:15, I assumed you were out," there's a brief pause before a moment of understanding dawns over Cooper's face as he takes in Kurt's mussed up hair, flushed cheeks and, most telling, the robe that comes with the obvious fact that he's not wearing anything else underneath.  "You have a guy here," he says matter of factly. Kurt can feel his face reddening as the fear builds up in his chest. He attempts to say something but finds that speaking is incredibly difficult when there are no words to defend himself. "Say no more, I'll get out of your hair while you kick him out," Cooper says grabbing his duffel bag and heading for his room.

Kurt allows himself to breathe a silent sigh of relief. Now all he has to do is get Blaine out of here as quietly and discreetly as possible and they can worry about the rest later. They want to tell Cooper, but they both know that he's going to take some winning over and the more gently they break the news to him the better.

Kurt is ready to make a break for his bedroom when Cooper stops on his way out of the room.

"Blaine's here?" he asks, nodding towards the bag left on the sofa. It's unmistakably Blaine's, Cooper would know since he'd bought it for his last birthday.

Kurt can only watch helplessly for an excruciating nanosecond as the pieces slot together. Cooper looks from the bag to Kurt and Kurt can't bear to make eye contact, knowing that there's about to be a monumental eruption and there's nothing he can do to stop it. Without saying a word. Cooper drops the bag that had been hanging from his limp hand and storms towards Kurt's room.

"Cooper wait!" Kurt begs, darting after him.

He's too late.

He gets to his room to find Cooper already standing in the open doorway. Thankfully he can see that Blaine has managed to partially get dressed by this point but Cooper is no idiot. It's clear as day what has been happening while he's been away.

"Coop!" Kurt hears Blaine screech as he reaches his bedroom.

Everything falls still for a moment until Cooper turns to face Kurt. His face is contorted in disgust and betrayal and everything explodes.

"You're sick," he spits.

"Cooper, let us explai-"

"He's just a kid! What on earth do you think you're doing?!"

"I'm not a kid!"

"Cooper please,"

"How _dare_ you!"

They're all speaking at once, words overlapping and Cooper's voice is rising, getting louder and louder.

"Just shut up!" Cooper eventually shouts, the words reverberating around the room as everything falls silent again. Kurt has never heard him speak this way before. "Blaine, get dressed," he says calmly before storming from the room. Kurt follows him out to the living room urgently.

"Please let me explain," he begs.

"What's there to explain? I trusted you, Kurt. I trusted you to look out for him while I was gone. And what do you do? You fuck my kid brother. I don't care how many guys you bring home or how many nameless hook-ups you have, that's your business, but when you fool around with my little brother you cross the line. He's worth more than that."

"I wasn't...he's not just another..." Kurt can't get the words out. It's far too early to say he's in love with Blaine but he knows his heart is certainly heading in that direction. But with Cooper glaring down at him the way he is, Kurt can't help but feel two inches tall. Of course Blaine isn't another nameless hook-up but he still went behind Cooper's back. He betrayed his best friend. "I would never hurt him, Coop."

"And how is this not gonna hurt him?" Cooper growls. "You _know_ that he's always had a stupid childish crush on you, and you would take advantage of that? Of him? I know you, Kurt, we've lived together long enough. You don't date, you fuck, and then you toss them to the curb."

It hurts. It hurts because the person Cooper is describing is not who Kurt is in any way yet somehow at the same time describes what Kurt does precisely. He knows that that isn't what his thing with Blaine is, but the words sting nonetheless because the person Kurt has been turning into over the last few years is not him at all.

Before Kurt can say anything in response Blaine emerges. His face is stony and cold and his arms are crossed over his blue button up.

"We're leaving," Cooper announces, marching over to grab Blaine's arm but Blaine pulls away viciously.

"You can't stop me from seeing Kurt."

"This is not up for discussion."

"Why is me being happy such a problem for you?" Blaine shouts.

"I'm trying to do what's best for you."

"God, after all these years and you _still_ treat me like a child. I can make my own decisions, Cooper. I can choose who I date, I can choose who I fuck and I don't need your permission to do either of those things."

"You're eighteen, Blaine. You think you know everything about the world but you _don't_."

"You know what? You’re not even my real brother okay, so fuck you." Blaine snatches his bag from the sofa and hurtles out the door, slamming it shut behind him with a frightening force.

With one last glare towards Kurt, Cooper retrieves his own duffel bag and follows, leaving Kurt alone.

* * *

Blaine ignores Cooper's shouts as he leaves Kurt's apartment. He doesn't even look back, instead hailing a taxi, relieved that he manages it with ease, and speeds off.

He doesn't cry. Despite every muscle in his body willing him to fall apart, he doesn't cry. He sits emotionless in the taxi all the way back to his dorm, pays the driver wordlessly before finally making it back to his tiny section of privacy in the city. Thankfully his roommate is out, but without him there the room is stiflingly quiet, a stark contrast to the shouting match he'd just had. He's surprised to find that he's shaking, even now as he slumps on his bed and hangs his head in his hands.

He won't let Cooper ruin what he has with Kurt. They'll make it through. There's no way he can stop Blaine from seeing him, he's over the age of consent, he's an adult. More or less. He groans inwardly, hating the way his brother somehow always manages to make him feel like a petulant child. But this time he knows he's not the one being out of line, Cooper is the one who is so obsessed with being the _parent_ in Blaine's life that he can't accept that he's finally found something that makes him indescribably happy.

Because Kurt is everything. Yes, it had started as a stupid crush, but Blaine has never been more certain of anything in his life. Kurt is such a huge part of Blaine's life that he can't even imagine ever loving anyone the way he loves Kurt. It's something that has always been there, growing and developing over the years until now, when he's finally been given the freedom to let his feelings flourish and bloom. And Cooper wants to take it away.

He's never truly hated his brother until now.

Still. An ugly thought swells in the back of his mind. Something Cooper had said.

_You don't date, you fuck, and then you toss them to the curb._

The words echo in his head on repeat, growing uglier and fiercer the more he thinks about them. He knows it's not true. At least, he knows it's not true about him and Kurt. Kurt may have had many one night stands over the years but he's certain that what they have together is different. Kurt looks at him in a way that he's never seen him look at anybody else before. There's adoration in his eyes. Blaine knows he isn’t making it up because he can feel it in his chest, like there's a balloon in his lungs about to burst whenever Kurt looks at him like that.

But he can't help but wonder if Cooper's cruel remark should be a warning sign. As much as Blaine fantasises about being Kurt's happily ever after what if that's not what Kurt's looking for? He knows it's an insane notion, he knows that Kurt wouldn't be doing this if he didn't care about him but the fear lingers that Kurt might grow bored of him, might start to itch for something different, somebody else.

Blaine's head is a mess. He can't think straight. His mind zig zags between blinding fury towards Cooper and the fear that maybe, just _maybe_ he could be right before berating himself for such an insane thought. Cooper isn't right, he's just a control freak.

Blaine is jolted out of his thoughts by the return of his roommate. A polite yet uninterested greeting is the extent of their interaction these days and Blaine sulkily sits in the corner of his bed while his roommate begins packing his things to fly home for thanksgiving the next morning. All it serves is to remind Blaine that his and Kurt's thanksgiving plans are now ruined and he suddenly feels trapped, stuck within the tiny space within these four bland walls. He has nowhere to go now. Talking to Cooper is out of the question and while he could go back to Kurt's he suddenly realises that he's too scared. He's terrified that Cooper's outright disapproval will have changed Kurt's mind about them being together. After all, Cooper was the reason Kurt was hesitant about them being together in the first place. He's not ready for that kind of rejection, not yet.

Blaine does the only thing he knows how to do when he's out of options. He hastily packs a bag and he leaves.

* * *

Cooper has never had to check into a hotel in New York City before. The room is nice enough, it's clean at least, even if the bed is a little small. Not that that matters much anyway since Cooper can't seem to shut his brain of long enough to get any sleep. By the time he sees the first glow of sunlight peeking through the buildings and streaking into the room, he gives up on trying to sleep entirely. There's only so many hours he can stare at the decorative canvas of Brooklyn Bridge before he goes out of his mind. He has no idea what he's doing.

He's still seething with rage at Kurt and aching at the fact that Blaine is probably never going to speak to him again.

Suddenly it feels like he's eight years old again staring blankly at the ceiling of his bedroom while his parents argue viciously in the next room after his father had knocked up another woman. Cooper had laid silently, too scared to even breathe, as his father packed a suitcase and left, his mother shouting obscenities down the stairs. It's a strange memory to be reminded of while sitting over 500 miles and 19 years away from that moment. It's the feeling of his family and everything he depends on being ripped apart at the seams.

There's a reason he had gotten out of Ohio as soon as he was legally able. There's a reason he had never mentioned his family to Kurt before, particularly the little boy who had torn his family apart before he had even been born. He never resented Blaine, of course it wasn't exactly his fault, he just didn't want anything to do with his father anymore. He had endured the lengthy summers he'd been forced to spend at his dad's, he had learned to ignore the feeling of not being welcome from his step mother, he had put up with the crying from his infant half-brother, had even grown somewhat fond of the brat after time, but as soon as he had turned eighteen he left and never looked back. Running away seems to be the only consistency between the three Anderson men.

Cooper realises now that since Blaine had moved in, he has never once considered him as just his half-brother. No, they are brothers through and though and Cooper loves him more than he can put into words. He can't lose him, but he has no idea what to do.

He's tried calling him but only ever reaches his voicemail, not that he expects much else. There's a flight booked back to L.A in three days and Cooper knows he needs to fix things before then or he might lose Blaine forever.

Still, he can't seem to escape the feeling of being utterly lost, knowing in the pit of his stomach that he caused this but refusing to let himself take the blame. Kurt was the one who had betrayed his trust and Cooper will absolutely not feel guilty for it. But he can still spend Thanksgiving with his brother, Cooper wistfully insists in his mind. Even if Blaine is mad at him he wouldn't want to be alone, he knows that much.

Deciding to take action instead of allowing himself to sink deeper into whatever pit he'd fallen into, Cooper grabs his phone and goes to see his little brother. He just needs to get Blaine to talk to him.

Cooper only knows how to find the building because he'd made a note of the address on his phone so he could send Blaine gifts he'd planned on picking up for him in L.A., although he had never gotten around to ever actually sending anything. A part of his subconscious reminds him that it's just another reason that Cooper is the World's Worst Big Brother but he stuffs the thought away, barely acknowledging it at all.

A quick google map search on his phone and two subway rides, Cooper finds himself standing outside a building entirely unfamiliar to him. He rings the buzzer for Blaine's floor and waits.

And waits.

He rings the buzzer again, hardly surprised that Blaine isn't answering but hoping that someone else might and not even caring that it's barely 7am. He presses the buzzer again with slightly more force than necessary when the front door swings open and a blond exits, a suitcase rolling behind him.

"Excuse me!" Cooper calls, seeing his opportunity. The blond turns, looking clearly like he's in a hurry but Cooper continues regardless. "Do you know Blaine? He boards here, fourth floor."

"Anderson?" the boy replies with the lazy timbre of a teenage boy.

"Yes!"

"Yeah, dude's my roommate, why?" he asks, with a glance at his watch. Cooper could cheer at his good luck.

"Could you just let me into the building quick so I can go up and talk to him? It's important, I-"

"Sorry, dude. He left last night," the guy says apologetically, taking a step towards his waiting taxi to be on his way.

"Wait! Do you know where he went?"

"Uh I don't know exactly but he had a bag so I guess he's gonna be gone for a few days. Listen, man, I'm sorry I can't be more help but I need to catch my flight." With a polite smile the guy leaves Cooper with a sinking feeling hollowing out his chest.

Half an hour later has him bursting through his apartment door. He should have known that Blaine would go back to Kurt, it was stupid of him not to even consider it. Blaine was right, he has no way of keeping them apart.

Kurt rises from where he had evidently slept on the sofa as Cooper marches in.

"Where is he," Cooper demands, scanning the living room and finding only a half eaten pint of ice cream on the coffee table and no sign of Blaine at all.

"What's going on?" Kurt questions, following after Cooper as he frantically searches, pulling apart the curtains like some sort of jealous lover. "Blaine's not here," Kurt informs him as he goes to check the kitchen. Cooper notices how red his eyes are, but he exiles the information. He no longer has the obligation to care, his mind is now solely set on finding Blaine.

"Don't lie to me, where's my brother? I told you to stay away from him!" He can't help his voice from rising in volume but he's panicking. Blaine isn't here. And if he isn't here then where the hell is he? Where has he been since last night?

"I have no idea but - Cooper he's not here!" Kurt insists as Cooper goes to double check the bedrooms. He doesn’t find Blaine there, and he's not in the bathroom or any of the closets or...

Where _is_ he?

Kurt is standing beside the sofa, arms crossed defensively, as Cooper stalks out. He's out of ideas. His brother is actually missing. He can't breathe.

"He's not here." Cooper’s voice is empty.

"Cooper?"

"I just wanted to talk to him but he wasn't answering his phone so I went to his dorm and his roommate said he'd packed a bag and left. If he isn't here then...He's gone." He can see the panic flash through Kurt's eyes momentarily before he sobers himself, placing a comforting hand on Cooper's shoulder. A peace offering. Kurt always was the more mature of them both.

"He'll come back once he's cooled off," Kurt promises but even Cooper can tell that he isn't speaking with one hundred percent certainty. "I mean, he has a class on Monday, he's not exactly going to drop out of college and disappear off the face of the earth."

"You realise you just described what he did when he was fifteen, right? He ran away then because our dad is an asshole and he's run away now because _I'm_ an asshole. I fucked up," Cooper sobs, sinking own into the sofa and knowing now that this is entirely his fault, "God I fucked everything up." He doesn't care about anything else anymore, he just wants to find his little brother who maybe isn't quite as little as he thought. All he's ever tried to do is look out for Blaine and not be a monumental fuck up of a role model like his father and here he is, fucking everything up. Monumentally.

"Cooper..." Kurt sits beside him on the sofa, the air awkward between them after everything that has happened. "Look, Blaine's an adult. He can take care of himself, I'm sure he's fine...wherever he is." Despite his comforting words, Cooper can tell that Kurt is worried too. Cooper hangs his head in his hands, trying to think, trying to organise everything into simple categories in his brain so he can process what the hell these last twenty four hours have been.

"God, _why_ did you have to do that?" He says accusingly, grappling for a scapegoat. Placing blame seems like the only productive thing he can do right now. "Why Blaine? My brother?"

Kurt retreats like he's been stung as Cooper's anger surfaces again.

"Getting mad at me isn't going to help find Blaine," he says, voice calm and steady despite the bite that Cooper can tell is brimming under the surface.

"I just want to know why," Cooper spits. "You can fuck any gay guy in Manhattan, why'd you have to pick Blaine?"

"Will you stop treating me like I'm some sort of predator?" Kurt yells, the explosion that Cooper has been waiting for finally erupting out of him. He wants to argue, he wants to fight and get all of the rage out of him before it drives him insane. "I'm not some twisted sex addict who lured Blaine into my clutches, okay? We both wanted this."

"You're just telling yourself that because you knew he would never say no to you."

"Are you insane? Can you even hear yourself talking right now?"

"He's too young for you, and -"

"He's _not_ 15 anymore."

" - he's gonna be fucking devastated when you're done with him."        

"How has it not occurred to you that I might actually care about him? He's not just a one night stand, Cooper. Do you honestly think I'd do that to him?"

"I just…I don’t...Urgh," Cooper groans, rising to his feet and pulling at his hair. "I just don't like it, okay?"

"Why?" Kurt asks more gently, following him to the kitchen. "Tell me so we can actually work something out instead of screaming at each other." Cooper leans against the kitchen counter, his back to Kurt as he tries to figure out the answer to Kurt's question. The fact that he doesn't know is telling enough.

"It's just...Blaine, he's...Sort of the only family I've ever actually cared about." He sucks in a breath, glad that Kurt can't see him or the tears that are angrily beginning to pool in his eyes. "I just don't want him to get hurt."

"I know you're protective over him but you don't have to protect him from _me_. I care about him too. I know he's not family to me in the same way he is to you but I do care about him. So much. And Cooper, you're my closest friend, you _both_ mean so much to me and all I'm asking is for you to trust me."

Cooper listens, really _listens_ to what Kurt says. He knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on, everything seems so irrational now. He tries desperately to hold on to the last traces of his anger, his last shield from what he's really feeling, but it's gone. All that's left is the sickening reality that Blaine is gone and the raw, hollow fear that comes with this fact. He turns around, knowing the tears have already started to fall and feeling more vulnerable than he can ever remember feeling. More vulnerable than when he was eight years old staring at his ceiling while his whole world collapsed.

"Okay."

* * *

Blaine stands outside the huge oak door, wondering why it still makes him feel so small. It looks the same as he remembers it. The two topiary trees on either side of the door in their huge marble pots have grown quite a bit since he was last here and the door frame has been repainted but other than that, the place looks exactly as Blaine pictured.

He has a key still after all these years and it doesn't look as though the lock has been changed since the last time it was used but he decides to ring the doorbell nonetheless. Holding his breathe, he waits. He can hear the doorbell chime inside, a sound that he didn't even realise he could still recall perfectly. He isn't even certain if anybody will be home until he hears a voice on the other side of the door, a voice that he has only heard distorted through the speaker on his phone in recent years.

The door is opened by a beautiful, slender woman, one eyebrow perked up curiously until the recognition settles in. Where Blaine expected to see joy, he sees instead simple surprise.

"Hi mom," He says, kicking his feet on the ground like a child who's been caught red handed breaking the rules.

"Sweetie! We weren't expecting you," she says kindly. Blaine tries to ignore the lack of any motherly warmth, tries to trick himself that it's there, somewhere deep down.

"I know. I decided to come last minute. I...hope that's okay?" Pam looks behind her into the house before turning back to Blaine with a formal smile.

"Of course, darling!" She takes a step forward, taking her son in her arms and kissing him loudly on the cheek, "I don't know if we'll have enough room at the table for you though..." she trails off, as though calculating seating arrangement in her head as she opens the door wide and for the first time in four years, Blaine steps into the house he grew up in. He hates himself a little for being disappointed that there isn't more of a reaction from his mother. Although she has visited New York for a birthday or two over the years, it is the first time he has been back home after all.

Much like the outside of the house, Blaine notices there's nothing distinctly different about the foyer as he steps inside, except perhaps it looks a little neater than he remembers. Where he had once untidily left his coats and shoes is now occupied with a small table and yet another potted plant.

"John!" She calls up the stairs after marching through the hallway, Blaine following behind and feeling all too much like a guest for his liking, his overnight bag hanging over his shoulder like a burden. "John, look who's here!"

If Blaine had been nervous about seeing his mother, it's nothing compared to the gut wrenching fear of seeing his father again. His mother has spoken to him on the phone, even visited a handful of times, but he has had no contact with his father whatsoever since he left.

As John appears at the top of the stairs tying a tie and looking frustrated at being called for, Blaine feels like he's about to be sick. He has no idea what possessed him into thinking coming here was a good idea. His father stares down at him, face betraying not a single emotion while Blaine feels like he's awaiting his own execution.

"Son," he says evenly, neither welcoming nor condemning. They share an awkward moment, Blaine too terrified to break eye contact before his father turns and continues getting ready.

"He's about to go pick up your Aunt from the airport" His mother tells him, as though that excuses his father for barely greeting him after four years. "Come on, you can help me prepare everything for tomorrow," his mother suggests happily, as though nothing is out of the ordinary, as though she had been expecting Blaine home for months. His mother has a knack for pretending everything is okay when they're clearly far from it. The fact that has neglected to even ask why Blaine is here out of the blue is telling enough.

"Actually," Blaine says, trailing after his mother once again as she strides into the kitchen, heels clacking against the tile floor, "Would it be okay if I go take a nap? I got a bus here and I haven't slept at all since yesterday."

His mother hesitates for a moment and Blaine's stomach sinks, knowing that something is coming.

"You can take the guest room for now but try not to make too much of a mess, honey, since your grandparents are staying there tonight. I'll ask your father to get the air mattress when he's back and we can set it up in your old room, okay?" In a way he isn't surprised. He doesn't know why he expected to come back and find everything exactly as he had left it when he was fifteen. Why would they keep it anyway? It's not like Blaine ever planned on coming home.

Still it would have been nice to have been asked, or at least been informed that any evidence of his presence in his parents’ house has all but been extinguished entirely.

"Okay," he replies, trying to keep the hurt out of his tone, "Sounds great."

"Go get some rest, honey. I'm sure everyone will be thrilled to see you again. They ask about you every year, you know?" Blaine attempts to smile in acknowledgment, not wanting to know what she tells them when they ask. Grabbing his bag, he heads up the stairs, not at all looking forward to seeing his extended family and again wondering why on earth he had gotten on that bus last night.

Oh. Right.

As he reaches the top of the stairs, Blaine lets his curiosity get the better of him as he wonders down the hallway to what was once his bedroom. Checking over his shoulder beforehand - for some reason not wanting his mother to find him snooping - he pushes open the door and checks inside.

He can see how this would once have been his bedroom. The room is, of course, the same basic shape and size he remembers. The huge Birch tree in the garden is still visible from the window and he's pretty sure the blinds are the same.

But everything else is different. Right down to the wallpaper and the carpet which has been pulled up and replaced with a wooden flooring. There are bookshelves where his bed had been, filled with folders and reference books which he's sure are his father's. There's a desk beneath the window and an expensive looking computer sitting atop it. It's like he's been erased completely. Gone are the toy robots he used to collect, lined up neatly on his shelf, there's not a trace of his polo trophies or his certificates from school or anything symbolic of his life in any way. It's just a bland office space and nothing more. Of all the ways his parents could have made use of the space, he's not sure why this hurts the most. 

He closes the door behind him as he leaves, finally bidding his last goodbye to a childhood that feels like lifetimes ago.

* * *

Little to his surprise, Blaine wakes up feeling worse than when he had gone to sleep, wanting nothing more than to just stay under the perfectly pressed covers of his parents' guest bedroom forever. Unfortunately, he knows there's no possibility of that happening. He has a role to play now, a role he hasn't had to perform in so long that he's certain he's going to be more than just rusty, that he'll be picked apart by his family like a carcass left to a wake of starving vultures. He has to be the polite, picture perfect son that everyone expects of an Anderson when all he wants to do is stop existing all together. Maybe then he'll finally feel like he belongs somewhere, even if that somewhere is nowhere.

Predictably, dinner is awkward. It's no secret that his father is less than pleased of his being here and the fact that he's yet to utter more than a single syllable to him only serves to make Blaine regret his choice of coming home even more. His grandparents are respectful as least, asking him about New York and College, but Blaine can sense their lingering disappointment and their silent judgment. Blaine has no idea what his parents told the rest of his family, the reason he ran away, yet it's becoming clearer by the minute that he has not been painted in a good light.

"Well you certainly grew up handsome at least," His Aunt Lisa teases, "I bet you have all the girls after you! Is there anyone special we should know about?" It's such a cliché thing to ask at a family reunion that Blaine can hardly blame her, especially considering that by now his family may as well be strangers but he can't help his whole body growing rigid at the simple question. It's been so long since he was in the closet, since he was in a situation where he felt like he needed to hide who he was. The feeling is wrong, unnatural, yet painfully familiar.

The table has lapsed into an unmoving silence, a stalemate that only Blaine can break. His mother is staring at her plate anxiously while his father's eyes bore into him, daring him to make a wrong move. It's then that Blaine realises he doesn't care anymore. He doesn't care what these people think of him, they're no more his family than any nameless stranger on the street. They may be related by blood but it's the only connection they have. Blaine isn't ashamed of who he is, he refuses to be.

"Yeah, actually," he says in answer to his aunt's awaiting question. "His name's Kurt, we've been seeing each other for about a month now."

All eyes are now on Blaine as he drops the bombshell. In a past life he'd be shrinking into his chair right about now, waiting for the ground to swallow him whole. He'd be dreading the outburst sure to come from his father, and unable to meet his grandparents' disapproving glares. But Blaine can't even begin to care. He owes these people nothing. If his parents never speak to him again then that's their loss, he may as well alienate himself from everybody in his life at this point. If his father finally cuts him off then he'll work something out, his life will go on.

His aunt coughs slightly in an attempt to break the tension but it's in vain. There's no more to be said for the rest of the meal and as soon as Blaine's plate is cleared, he excuses himself.  Although nobody actually _says_ anything to him, the silence speaks loud enough.

The air mattress has been set up in Blaine's old room and he sinks onto it, the rubber squeaking against the cold wooden floor. This place has never felt less like his home than it does now.

He lies there for a while, staring up at the ceiling and forcing himself to just stop feeling everything so much. He empties his mind, tries to find something to hold on to, something to get him through the next few days when a small knock at the door startles him. His parents never knocked when he lived here so it comes as a surprise for it to happen now.

"Come in," Blaine says, feeling somewhat awkward. His mother appears in the doorway, smiling sympathetically as she worries her hands together nervously. "Is everything okay?"

"I thought we could...well, I think a little chat is long overdue." Blaine sits up on the mattress as his mother enters the room and takes a careful seat on the office chair, facing Blaine.

"I'm sorry I came here. I've probably ruined your thanksgiving," Blaine says, the feeling of being nothing but a burden overcoming him once again.

"Don't be silly, darling. You know you're always welcome to come home at any time."

 _Do I?_ Blaine wants to say, because never has he felt more unwelcome before. His mother senses his apprehension and does what she always does in uncomfortable situations. She deflects.

"Tell me more about Kurt," she asks, throwing a curveball and leaving Blaine momentarily stunned.

"You wanna know about Kurt?" he asks in disbelief. His mother has never been vocally opposed to him being gay like his father has but she's never exactly encouraged it before either.

"Of course! When you mentioned him at dinner it was the first time I've seen you smile like that since...well since I can remember," she tells him softly, enough to make Blaine wonder if she really _does_ care. "Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember you mentioning a roommate called Kurt a number of times over the phone." Blaine isn't fooled, he knows she's firmly made the connection already but she's doing her best to be subtle about her prying and for some reason, Blaine appreciates it.

"Yeah," he says, surprised to find that he's actually blushing a little. "Yeah it's the same Kurt."

"So how did _that_ happen?" Blaine's mother asks with a grin, as though she were catching up on the juiciest gossip with her friends at the country club. Blaine finds himself smiling, feeling much more at ease than he ever thought possible while discussing his love life with his mother.

"I don't know. He's Cooper's best friend but we actually have a lot in common and when Coop was working in L.A for a few months we started spending a lot more time together just the two of us."

"I'm assuming this boy is older than you then? If he's a close friend of Cooper's?"  Blaine is expecting the other shoe to now drop, for his mother to find offense in Kurt being older if not the fact that Blaine is dating another boy, but it doesn't come. Blaine realises she's merely asking a simple question - after all it would be entirely hypocritical of her to judge, considering the 11 year age gap between her and his father - and Blaine finally lets his guard drop completely.

"Yeah. A little."

"Well, he clearly makes you very happy, which makes me wonder-" Blaine looks at his mother who seems to be choosing her words very carefully, "-why would you decide to come here at the last minute instead of spending thanksgiving with him?"

"I..." Blaine has no response. He doesn't want to get into the dirty details of everything that happened.

"If you want to go back to New York, I'd understand," she tells him gently.

"But I just got here!" Blaine can't help but feel like she's pushing him away, trying to get rid of him. His heart sinks.

"You don't _want_ to be here. Honey, I've missed you so much but you were never happy here, not as happy as you always seem to be in New York, and I can tell you'd rather be anywhere else but here right now. I know you and your father don't always see eye to eye - " Blaine scoffs at the understatement of the century, " - I can see it's difficult for you being here and your father doesn't make that any easier,"

"I just wish he'd _see me_. It's like I'm not even his son anymore."

"Of course you're still his son Blaine, he cares for you very much."

"It would be nice if he'd show it every once in a while," Blaine mutters, glaring into the carpet as he rests his arms on his knees.

"He's paying for your college tuition isn't he?" Blaine wants to scream because although his mother may mean well she still doesn't get it. Both of his parents are more fixated on looking like a loving and caring family than actually being one. Like a family portrait hanging on the wall, seemingly perfect to outsiders who can't see the fatal cracks until they get close enough.

"Mom-"

"Look, I know he's hard on you. He wanted different things for you after Cooper declared he wanted to be an actor and ran off to New York. You might not be the son that he imagined you'd be but that's his problem, not yours. And he is proud of you, Blaine."

"Yeah, okay," he retorts sarcastically.

"He is! You should have heard what he said when I told him you got accepted into the best performing arts college in New York." Blaine looks up to read his mother's face with genuine curiosity, he can always tell when she's lying but he finds that her eyes are betraying nothing.

"What did he say?" he asks slowly.

Putting on a ridiculous voice intended to imitate his father, his mother recites "If he's going to waste his time with theatre then at least he doesn't suck." Blaine snorts out a laugh as his mother also smiles fondly at him. He can't help it, for the first time he feels that sense of carefree belonging with his mother that he can't ever remember feeling around his parents before. "It's not exactly World's Best Father material but it's a start."

"Thanks, mom," Blaine says, knowing somewhere, deep down, that everything might be okay.

His parents pay for his last minute flight home and drive him to the airport. Blaine tells them that they don't have to, even if the thought of getting another bus back to New York fills him with a sick dread, but his mother insists. After a tight hug from his mother and an almost sincere farewell from his father, Blaine leaves. His parents aren't perfect, but that's okay. There's an understanding between them that theirs is a relationship that functions significantly smoother when there's a distance between them. It might not be healthy but it's what works. Blaine's father promises to call more. Blaine secretly hopes that he keeps his promise.

* * *

There's nothing Cooper can do but wait. His flight back to LA is in less than three days and he's still heard nothing from Blaine. He and Kurt had managed to talk through things. He's still not totally on board with the idea, but he loves Blaine and he trusts Kurt and he knows that he doesn't exactly get a say in the matter. Not if he wants to keep both of them in his life. Sleep soon comes early into the evening, having not slept a wink the night before, but it's restless and he wakes sometime close to midnight, his mind heavy.

He can hear movement in the living room, knows that Kurt went to sleep even before he did and shoots out of bed, all traces of sleep quickly forgotten.

Blaine stands in the living room looking lost, overnight bag slung over his shoulder. When he sees Cooper he visibly stiffens, knowing they'd both said awful things to each other they didn't mean.

Cooper says nothing as he strides towards his younger brother and engulfs him in his arms, finally allowing himself to breathe again.

"You scared the crap out of me," he mumbles into Blaine's shoulder.

"M'sorry," he mumbles half-heartedly and Cooper knows it's far from over, knows they still have so much left to discuss, but his brother is back home safe and that's all that matters right now.

* * *

"I thought I'd go back to Ohio for thanksgiving. I hadn't seen my mom in forever," Blaine says meekly. They're huddled on the sofa, cups of cocoa in hand that Cooper had made them to try and stall the inevitable conversation that was to come. He was never good at heart to hearts.

"You went home for thanksgiving and you didn't even make it to thanksgiving? Sheesh it was that bad?" Cooper doesn't mention the fact Blaine took off out of nowhere without telling anybody, he doesn't mention that the only way Blaine would go back there would be if it wasn't the worst option anymore.

"It was...eye opening. I'm glad I went. I feel like I've...made peace with them. Or at least we're on our way to making peace. We'll never be close, not like a real family but that doesn't mean we can't try and build _something_."

"You're a more tolerant man than I am. Last time I spoke to dad was when you moved here, if by _spoke to_ you mean _screamed at over the phone._ Before that it must have been, I don't know, before I left Ohio. I can't remember."

"Maybe you could try-"

"I think that ship has sailed, Squirt. Things haven't been right between us since...since-"

"Since he got my mom pregnant." Blaine says with a conviction that stabs through Cooper's chest because he knows it's true.

"Blaine-"

"It's okay. I know why you and dad have never gotten along, I'm not an idiot. I mean, if I'd never been born then your parents might have stayed together."

"And I wouldn't have a kickass little brother, so I guess everything worked out for the best, right? Look, I'm not bitter about it, my parents hated each other, even if dad hadn't...they wouldn't have lasted." There's a long pause as they both consider. Never have they talked about their families in this way, exposing them for what they are in such a raw state. Blaine was the mistake that effectively ended Cooper's parents' marriage, but Cooper is grateful that it happened more than anything. His dad has made a lot of mistakes, has fucked up in countless ways but Blaine is the flower that grew despite the weeds.

"I'm sorry I said you weren't my real brother, I didn't mean it." Out of all the things Blaine had said to him over the years, that one was what maybe hurt the most. Cooper had been a mess when his parents separated. As he'd grown up he went off the rails, acted out, ignored anyone of authority and he wasn't shy of telling his father what he thought of him. His mother eventually found someone else, found a new family that Cooper wasn't a part of, his father had Pam and Blaine, and Cooper was stuck in the middle, an outsider in both of their families, just the tiny overlapping sliver on a Venn diagram that connects two otherwise unrelated worlds.

"It's okay, Blaine. We both lost control a little there."

"Cooper, I love Kurt. And if you're going to stop us being together then-"

"Cooper?" A voice comes from down the hall moments before Kurt appears. "Is that...Blaine." He looks like he wants to reach out, cross the distance and just be close to Blaine as physically possible but instead he hesitates, frozen to the spot as he glances cautiously at Cooper.

"Maybe I should just go back to my dorm," Blaine says sadly, no more fight left in him for tonight. He places his half empty mug on the coffee table as he gets to his feet, eyes trained on the carpet.

"Sit," Cooper orders. "You're not going anywhere, it's the middle of the night and it's thanksgiving."

Blaine obediently does as he's told, determined not to look across the room at Kurt.

"We're a family. All of us. Tomorrow we're gonna salvage what we can of thanksgiving but right now we're going to talk like adults and we're going to fix this."

Kurt joins them after Cooper ushers him over, sitting perched on the arm of the sofa, arms crossed over his chest.

"I want you to tell me what's going on between you two," Cooper says gently. He wants to be okay with this, he wants to understand and now that he's had time to think, now that he's experienced what the consequences would be if he loses Blaine for good, he's willing to listen. Blaine and Kurt share a quick glance, a silent conversation of uncertainty takes place between them.

"If you're just going to get mad again then-"

"I won't," Cooper promises. Silence falls for a moment as Cooper waits, patiently for either of them to start talking. It's Blaine who starts, hands clasped together between his knees as he forces the words out.

"I guess we've been dating for a month or so." Blaine tells him the story of how it happened. Cooper hadn't even known that Kurt had gotten a new job, at Vogue nonetheless, and he realises that maybe he's just a little more self-absorbed than he thought. Every phone call for the past few months have just been about him and his TV show and LA and _Cooper Cooper Cooper._ He has no idea how Blaine is doing at NYADA either. Cooper realises that he's no innocent party in all this. Even if they had tried to tell him what was going on between them, would he have even listened?

"So this is the real deal, huh?" He asks once Blaine has finished his story.

"I'm crazy about him." Cooper looks towards Kurt who is decidedly not meeting his eye. It hasn't escaped Cooper's notice that he hasn't said a word since he sat down. "Kurt?" Kurt's head snaps up, looking like a deer in headlights. His mouth stutters open for a second as he tries to find the words he wants to say. Blaine is staring at him expectantly too, having just bared his heart out.

"I-I know what you think I am," Kurt starts, and Cooper frowns. "That I only do one night stands and meaningless hook-ups and, I admit, I've perpetuated that stereotype in recent years but...but it's not who I am. It's not what I want. I want someone who _knows_ me. Someone who cares, someone who - who no matter what is always going to be there for me. This isn't something I planned, that either of us planned. There's no agenda here, it just happened. But I'm never going to hurt him, not if I can help it because above everything else, he's one of my closest friends. You both are. You both mean so much to me and it's killing me knowing that I'm going to have to lose one of you one way or another." There are tears brimming in Kurt's eyes, Blaine in turn also looks like he could start at any moment. Cooper knows what he has to do, he knows there's only one right answer in this situation.

"You're not going to lose either of us. You guys don't need my permission. Blaine's 18, he's old enough to know what he wants. Blaine, I know I'm hard on you and I still treat you like a child sometimes and I'm sorry, but you're always going to be my kid brother and I'm always going to worry about you. I know I overreacted and I freaked out and I'm sorry. I want you to know how sorry I really am I- I'm not going to get in the way of whatever happiness you have together. I want you to be happy Blaine."

"Do you really mean that?" Blaine asks, voice cracking.

Cooper knows with his entire being and without a shadow of a doubt that he really does.


	6. The Next Six Years

**2014**

"I'm really gonna miss you, Coop." Blaine voice is muffled against his brother's shoulder as he holds on tight. They're standing in the middle of JFK surrounded by excited tourists and impatient businessmen as Kurt and Blaine bid farewell to Cooper.

It's the end of an era.

Blaine can still remember the first night he arrived in New York City, his ribs still throbbing fresh from the attack while terrified to his very core as he'd tried to navigate the city in search of his brother's apartment building. The entire city felt like a whole other world to him, a far cry from the small town in Ohio where he'd grown up. There was so much noise and activity, so many lights and so many people. Even now, he doesn't know how he'd found the courage to go through with what he did, how he turned his whole life on its head, but he knows now that it was the best decision he could have possibly made. This city is his home.

Now, Cooper's bags are the ones that are packed. He's the one who's embarking on a new adventure, starting a new chapter. His show received exceptional reviews and has since been renewed for a second season and, as a result, Cooper is now moving to LA for good. Blaine couldn't be more proud.

Still, his heart aches to see his brother go. He's never had someone he could depend on as much as Cooper. They've had their ups and downs, their relationship has been a tumultuous rollercoaster over the years but Blaine couldn't ask for a better brother.

"You guys'll come visit, right?" Cooper asks as they pull apart, fighting hard against the tears. For the last few months Cooper has been acting like he couldn't wait to get out. Blaine knows it's not true. Cooper loves New York, he loves being close to his brother, and Blaine knows he's going to miss Kurt like crazy.

"Of course," Kurt promises which Blaine confirms with a nod. 

"Okay...Okay. This is really happening isn't it?"

"Go, before you miss your flight," Kurt says warmly, picking Cooper's case up by the handle and offering it to him. Cooper ignores the gesture and instead pulls Kurt into an equally as tight hug as the one Blaine just endured.

"Take care of him for me, okay?" he whispers, despite the fact that Blaine is no less than 2 feet away and can hear them perfectly.

"Of course."

"Right," Cooper says, straightening himself and taking his suitcase, resuming his usual confidence. "Let's get this show on the road! Wish me luck!"

"Cooper, wait," Blaine says, reaching out for his brother's sleeve before he leaves them for good. "I just - thank you. For everything you've ever done for me. Thank you." Cooper smiles. It's his genuine smile, not the one he reserves for the camera, it's the kind that creeps up on him when he least expects it, stretching across his entire face. He says nothing in return, simply ruffles Blaine's hair one last time before he finally leaves.

Kurt takes his hand as they watch him go through the gate, squeezing it gently, and Blaine knows that everything is going to be okay.

* * *

 

**2015**

Living together is difficult. Of course, they've done it before, but Cooper had been there too. With just the two of them, it's difficult not to get in one another's hair. Blaine loves Kurt but if he finds another toothpaste stain on one of his towels then he might go insane.

So there may be some growing pains.

They fight over whose turn it is to clean the bathroom, over who gets to use the shower first in the morning, over what kind of pizza they should order but never do their petty grudges last long. There's never any real venom.

Until Kurt misses dinner for the fourth consecutive time, leaving Blaine to yet another solitary evening.

"Look, Kurt if you don't want to do this anymore then just _tell_ me instead of pulling away until I hardly even get to see you anymore," Blaine spits, angrily scraping his plate into the trash.

"You think that's what this is about? You think I don't _want_ to be here with you?" Kurt growls back, angry at such an accusation. He'd barely walked through the door before Blaine had started.

"Well what am I supposed to think? You're never _here_ Kurt. It feels like you're always making excuses these days."

"I'm at work, Blaine. It's not like you don't know where I am."

"Yeah, work. Sure," Blaine scoffs, brushing past Kurt to the living room, leaving him to his cold dinner.

"What is that supposed to mean?"  Kurt demands, his voice ice cold as he ignores his plate of food to follow Blaine.

"It means that your phone is always switched off, that you're not getting paid for all this supposed over time you're doing and you won't even tell me why you have to stay late every night," Blaine lists.

"Are you accusing me of what I think you're accusing me of?"

"I'm not accusing you of anything!" Blaine shouts, gesticulating wildly with his hands. He doesn't quite know how this escalated so quickly, his adrenaline just takes over. "I have no idea what you're doing anymore because you've stopped talking to me. I just want to know why you've been avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you, Blaine. I'm working," Kurt says through gritted teeth. He'd been growing more and more stressed lately and Blaine can't even fathom why he would stay late if it's clearly making him miserable.

Blaine response is cut short by Kurt's phone ringing. They stand glaring at each other in a momentary stalemate, Blaine daring Kurt to answer the phone. As soon as Kurt glances at the caller ID, it's obvious what he'll do. "I have to take this," Kurt says, a little deflated.

"Whatever," Blaine says, retreating to the bedroom to cool off.

A few moments later comes a few short taps against the door and Kurt is standing hesitantly, phone in hand.

"I got offered the promotion." Blaine frowns.

"What promotion?"

"The one that I didn't want to tell you about because I was too scared of getting my hopes up."

"That's why -?"

"Yeah. It's not because I don't want to be here with you Blaine. I don't know why you would think that was true but...I'm sorry for not telling you. Isabelle mentioned a few weeks ago that she's interested in some of my designs and asked me to sit in on a few meetings a couple nights a week. That's why my phone is always switched off."

"And you...you got the job?" Kurt response is a hesitant smile.

Their celebratory slash make up sex that night is the best they've had in months.

* * *

 

**2016**

"Kurt! Hurry up! The car will be here any minute!" Blaine calls, waiting impatiently on the hotel room bed, legs crossed as he taps his foot against the carpet.

"I'm almost ready!" Kurt calls back from the bathroom. Blaine sighs, glad that he'd secretly booked the car for fifteen minutes later than Kurt had suggested but, even by Kurt's usual standards, he's pushing it. If they're late to the premiere then Cooper will use it against them for _months_.

Blaine waits for another five minutes, checking his watch periodically before he huffs, getting to his feet to go knock on the bathroom door. Just before his knuckles can rap against the wood, it's pulled open by a frantic looking Kurt, fixing his cufflinks.

"Do I look okay?" he asks as he hurries to check himself in the full length mirror.

"Kurt, you look absolutely incredible," Blaine says once he manages to catch his breath because his heart is hammering at just how effortlessly flawless he looks. Well, perhaps this look isn't quite _effortless_ , Kurt has been getting ready for the last three hours after all, but Blaine loves Kurt when he's dressed to the nines looking like a Hollywood movie star, when he's wearing tattered lounge pants having binge watched The Bachelorette for 6 hours, when his hair is scruffy and sticking up every which way and when it's perfectly coiffed, not a hair out of place. Kurt is simply incapable of looking anything but devastatingly beautiful and even now, Blaine is amazed at the simple fact that he gets to call him his. "I mean it."

"Yeah, but there's amazing and there's _Red Carpet Amazing_ ," Kurt groans with disdain, panicking as he struggles to get his cufflink fixed properly.

"Kurt, I'm pretty sure you could show up in a bath robe and you'd still somehow be the best dressed person there," Blaine assures him, covering Kurt's wrist with both hands so he can attach the offending cufflink and put Kurt at ease.

Since Cooper’s rise to TV stardom, his face had quickly become a fan favourite, doing wonders for his acting career. Now, after wrapping his first big feature film, Kurt and Blaine had flown out to LA to attend his first ever Red Carpet Movie Premiere. Kurt was a little nervous. Not only was he about to attend an actual Hollywood Red Carpet event but he was more importantly about to unveil not one, but three suits to the world, modelled by himself, Blaine and, the star of the event, Cooper Anderson. Tonight, every camera will be on Cooper. All of Hollywood will be watching and he'll be wearing a suit that Kurt made.

"Blaine, I'm serious, if one of _my_ designs gets onto one of those worst dressed articles then my career will be over before it even begins, they'll never let me work in fashion again, it will -"

"- never happen. Trust me, Kurt, you're the most talented designer in New York and once the rest of the world see what you can do, they'll be _begging_ for you to design them something.” Kurt hangs his head, taking a deep breath to steady himself before returning Blaine's smile. It's unconvincing at first but as he looks Blaine up and down, he can see how it grows into something more genuine, like a sunflower blooming.

"You look so handsome," he says, practically whines, as he affectionately straightens his boyfriend's lapel.

"Yeah, I have this great stylist, he does what he can," Blaine replies with a grin before leaning in to kiss Kurt against the lips, "now come on, we _really_ don't want to be late."

* * *

 

**2017**

Kurt's eyes are locked on the ring presented before him. Blaine is on his knees and until the moment he had produced the perfect beautiful _flawless_ ring, Kurt was sure he was just tying his laces, picking up a penny, any old mundane task that wasn't as monumentally life changing as this. But this is real and Kurt's heart is in his throat. He can't remember how to breathe because Blaine's looking at him the way he does, the way that makes Kurt fall in love over and over again, as if it was the sole reason he was put on this earth: to love Blaine. 

The words _will you marry me_ echo around his mind like a dawn chorus. It's like he's in a dream. This whole week has been a dream. He's still taken by surprise seeing his designs, clothes _he_ made, being modelled on a real catwalk. He's still shocked by the fact that people _like_ what he does. After years of feeling like he wasn’t good enough, Kurt has finally found his place in the world. Sometimes he can’t quite believe his life is his.

After everything had wrapped up and Kurt's first official fashion debut had been made, Blaine had surprised him with flowers and dinner reservations at Kurt's favourite Italian, followed by a final surprise which turned out to be Blaine leading Kurt up to the Top of the Rock observation deck just as the sun was beginning to set over the city. Central park was ablaze with reds and oranges as the sky darkened around them and the city was just beginning to light up, a glow of yellow misting around the towering buildings around them. Kurt had gotten lost in it, gazing adoringly out at his city, his home, until he'd turned to share a glance with Blaine only to find he was no long stood beside him, but was instead resting on one knee.

Now, with Blaine’s eyes gazing oh so fondly into his, his hands shaking just a little as he holds out the ring, Kurt knows that there's only one answer his heart knows how to give.

He nods, teary eyed as Blaine's mouth erupts into a ridiculous, toothy grin, rising to his feet to engulf Kurt in his arms as Kurt whispers out a _yes_. Because of course he'll marry him. There's nothing else on this planet Kurt could possibly want more than this.

* * *

 

**2018**

"Blainey!" Blaine's head snaps round, abandoning the bow tie he had been tying at the sound of his brother's voice.

"Coop! You made it, I thought you were going to be stuck in LA?"  Blaine hurries over to give his brother a strong hug, smiling brightly as they wrap their arms around one another.

"And miss my brother and best friend's wedding? Not if I could help it. I told the producer he either give me this weekend off or I walk. He knows he'd have no show without me." Cooper says as though it's no big deal. "Can't have a wedding without the Best Man."  Although Blaine had asked his old friend Sam to be his Best Man in Cooper’s absence, he’s sure he won’t mind sharing the role.

"I'm so glad you're here," Blaine says. "I'm so nervous I think I might puke."  Cooper laughs, patting his brother on the back which doesn't exactly help with Blaine's queasiness.

This is it. This is the day he and Kurt declare their love for each other for the world to see. This is the day they promise each other forever. That's a lot of pressure to put on Blaine's somewhat small shoulders. He's checked himself over in the mirror a thousand times, not ready to accept the fact that he needs to go out there in twenty minutes and marry his soulmate.

"Are you insane? You perform in front of a theatre full of people every night, this is no different. Don't tell me you're getting cold feet."

"I'm not having second thoughts," Blaine says, "but what if Kurt is? What if he's finally realised that he doesn't want to be with me? What if we get up there in front of everyone and he says _I don't_?" Blaine cries, on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Call me crazy but, something tells me that there's no way in hell that will happen," Cooper tells him, remaining annoyingly calm.

"How do you know that?"

"Because, idiot, he's crazy about you. Not to mention the de ja vu I currently have since I just had _exactly_ the same conversation with Kurt. Honestly you guys were made for each other."

This seems to calm Blaine a little, his brother's unwavering surety putting him at ease.

"I'm about to get married," Blaine says with a gulp, his heart all aflutter in his chest as the realisation dawns on him for the 30th time that day.

"I know, God I remember when you were still in diapers," Cooper says fondly.

"Is my mom here?" Blaine asks a little hopefully. He'd sent the invitation to his parents months ago and their reply was an unsatisfying _maybe._ Despite their relationship being tenuous at best, Blaine still wants his mother to attend his wedding. Enough time has passed that there's no bad feeling between them, merely distance. Cooper smiles, putting Blaine's worry at ease a little.

"She's out there," Cooper tells him with a comforting nudge. "So's dad."

Blaine freezes.

"He...he came?" Blaine wasn't expecting that in the slightest. He’d kept his promise and had made somewhat more of an effort to keep in contact over the last few years but Blaine can’t say things between them are mended. Cooper nods.

"Said to me, _what kind of father doesn't attend his own son's wedding?_ As if he's some sort of model father." Blaine laughs at his brother's ridiculous impression of their father. It's such a monumental stepping stone. His father has never been the most supportive, and one gesture doesn't make up for the years of pain Blaine has endured but it's something and Blaine appreciates that, appreciates that he does occasionally make the effort to be in Blaine's life. He turns back to the mirror and wipes away the tear before Cooper can see, knowing it would only end in teasing.

"I guess I should get out there," he says, feeling his nerves calm a little now.

"Knock 'em dead, Squirt." 

* * *

 

**2019**

"I swear to God, Blaine if you mention next Tuesday one more time I will end your _life_."

"But-"

"No," Kurt asserts, placing a finger against Blaine's lips. "No, nothing is happening next Tuesday because it's just another ordinary day."

"Kurt, you can't -"

"Just an ordinary day," Kurt shouts over his shoulder as he storms off to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water but Blaine persistently follows.

"The day you turn thirty is not an ordinary day, Kurt." Kurt almost chokes on his water.

"I thought I banned that word," he rasps furiously, coughing to catch his breath. Blaine just smiles as he hops onto a stool and leans his elbows on the kitchen island.

"You only turn thirty once you know," he persists, ignoring Kurt's absurd rule.

"Yeah, I'm aware because after that it just gets steadily worse. The next landmark is forty. _Forty,_ Blaine! Then fifty and then, Oh _God_ then sixty." Kurt looks utterly mortified as he considers the thought, like his world is falling apart around him.

"Oh my God, Kurt, your dad isn't even sixty yet. I think you're overreacting just a little."

"Easy for you two say, you've still got 6 years left of being in your twenties," Kurt mumbles sulkily, leaning back against the fridge. "Oh god, I'm getting _old_."

"You're not getting old," Blaine says in an attempt to placate him. "Thirty is not old. It's just one year older than you were last year." Kurt doesn't reply. Instead he merely pouts as Blaine continues. "You can't just pretend it's not happening, Kurt, we have _plans_. Both of our families are flying in, we can't exactly celebrate your birthday without you. Which brings me back to my original question before you bit my head off. With both of our families here, do you think it would be a good idea to...announce it?"

Kurt considers for a moment, a faraway look in his eye as his fingers fiddle gently with the wedding ring now enclosed around his finger. Blaine steps down from the stool to meet Kurt in the kitchen, taking both of his hands into his own.

"I don't know...I mean what if we jinx it?" Kurt whispers "What if they change their minds and we get everybody excited for nothing? What if -"

"- everything goes according to plan and in 6 months we get a beautiful baby to call our own?" Blaine interrupts, the corner of his mouth stretching almost to his eyes.

"Yeah, what then?"

"Then we live happily ever after."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are! No Klaine fic is complete without a cheesy as balls ending! Thank you to everyone kind enough to leave kudos and reviews, you all mean the world to me! Until next time! <3


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